i am in the throws of setting up an iva and it has been going on for about three months. i think im a few months away from my outcome, but i am finding things are getting on top of me - im sure its normal, but i thought writing it down might help me make sense of it.
i just wrote a list of things that are p*****g me off and top of the list came my kids - i love my 2 young kids with everything i have and to show you how stupid things are, the top of my list was the fact that my kid splashed me with a hosepipe while we were trying to clean my car - he's 5!
Everything from this to the flies in the graden appeared on my list. - Complete and utter madness.
i have recently come off anti-depressants (bad timing i know) and i took my time to do so - around 6 months weaning them down to almost nothing. I really dont want to revert to them again!
My question - yep, there is one, is, "does it REALLY get easier once the IVA is agreed"?
yes it does!!! you are feeling weighed down with life and all the worries. I have been in mine for coming up four years, I still remember where I was when my IP rang me to tell me it haad been approved and life from that day onwards got so much better. My son was my reason for working so hard to enusre my payments are made every month (well I pay weekly) its easier...Seding you a virtual hug!! Funny we were only talking earlier how going through what we are going through changes you guess what for the better!! Take care x Karen[:)]
On the slow safe road to success. Personal thanks to Melanie Giles Kallis Skippy Elv5 and all the other wonderful forum friends.
Sorry you're having a hard time at mo but in my opinion it does get better. I know how it feels to have days when even the most ordinary object seems to wind me up no end!
When our IVA was granted I suddenly felt safe - sounds mad but its true. I felt protected from the nightmare of debt and now try to look on my IVA payments as if they were a loan payment so in my mind I only have one debt and that is the IVA and it will be gone in 6 years.
Pre IVA was stress central - each day getting worse and worse.
Now in IVA and each day is simple and under control - I know I am much happier on this side of the fence - tight budget or not!!!
Good luck hope you are settled soon [:)]
"Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn't permanent." - Jean Kerr
IVA approved Aug 2008 - 6 year term - last payment made 6 Oct 2014. CC received 14 Nov 2014.
OOh hope you feel better soon.. don't think your cracking up.. we all get like that where the slightest thing gets blown up to a massive catastrophe.. I'm like that at least once a week.. especially flies!! they're dirty for one thing.. It does get better as time goes on, but we're all here for you.. Hope you feel more relaxed sson
Hi Piston Broke. I'm sorry to hear you've had a rotten time of it lately and that the tip of the iceberg was the splashing with the hosepipe. Its really hard, as littl'un doesn't realise how much you are hurting right now and I suppose he/she was just playing and thought it would be funny, but I can relate to not always finding these funny as well.
I promise you, that once your IVA is approved, things will most certainly be better for you. Well, at least they are for me. To be honest with you, I haven't looked back. You can have a read of my blog if you fancy being sent to sleep, it might give you an insight on my pre/post IVA approval journey. I feel immense relief now that all is sorted, I know exactly where I am now with my finances, and that in turn has made the rest of my life fall nicely into place.
Have you been on anti d's because of you money worries? Sorry, don't mean to pry, but if that is the case, I think you'll feel a whole lot better when things are approved, and well done for weaning yourself off them, you are now well on the road to recovery.
With all the support on the forum, you know you don't have to be alone, and it is good to air your feelings. We have all been there hun and know exactly how you feel.
I do hope things start to seem brighter soon and I wish you all the luck in the world in getting things sorted.
Take care for now
Kazzy x
There is light at the end of that dark tunnel. Promise.
Don't panic yet! When is your Creditors meeing? they are dragging this on a bit which doesn't appear to help with your stress levels. And yes it is normal to get stressed pending IVA outcome. I was the same prior to IVA meeting but then I don't have kids which probably helped! At the time I felt like a fugitive escaping the country, dashing into Barclays bank at lunch time cancelling all my DDs and clearing out the bit of savings I had, trying to set up new bank account to accommodate the IVA etc. it was so stressful at the time. This was all under instructions from my IP. I was crying all the time because I felt so guilty. I had to take Nytol sleeping pills some nights. No, it's not a pleasant phase to be going through like waiting for exam results but just hang in there and maybe get something to help you sleep better etc. And yes, when you get the IVA agreed you will feel a lot of relief.
the money issues werent really to blame for the Anti depressants. My baby son died - he was a twin and i found it hard to see the surviving (Now splashing 5 yr old) little guy without getting drawn into feelings of sadness. My wife subsequently had three miscarriages - aint life a bowl of cherries eh?
i do however believe that the loss of my son and the mis carriages were the cause of our money worries.
its ludicrous. i earn a fortune by almost anyones standard, have a great life and was in total denial of the fact i was totally skint. total denial for me meant being away every year on the anniversary of my sons death, etc etc
I'm so sorry you have had an awful time of it.. hope once you get your money issues dealt with you can start to find peace with yourself.. and it is definetly a problem shared on here thats what we're here for
I am so sorry to hear that - I feel really bad for asking now and it must be hard raking it up again for you. Hang in there hun, things will get better and more bearable, I promise.
Big hug
Kazzy x
There is light at the end of that dark tunnel. Promise.
absolutely nothing to be sorry for. youre trying to help and in fact you have. so its me that is sorry if i made you feel in any way uncomfortable. Life can be s**t at times, but i didnt make it better and i have to live with the things i did and didnt need to do - if that makes sense?
the other stuff, we just get better at living with it.
What a sad tale, no wonder you have been depressed, but good on you for trying to do without a chemical crutch. If it gets too bad though, don't try to struggle on alone, get back down that doctors!
We all have dark moments, particularly when setting up an iva. Once it has been approved though, the relief is tremendous.
Once you are sorted financially, as Angela says,you can start and get the rest of your life back on track.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
Piston Broke, things are going to get on top of you, especially when you've got all these debt problems around. Please hang in there, it will get better. As Kazzy says, have a read of the blogs, you can see how people have climbed out of the dark place and into the sunshine. That will be the same for you very soon. X
PB ... hang on in there ... it does get better ... honest.
So sorry to hear of your experiences. It sounds as if you have been doing the classic act of transference, making the sad times better by spending on something which gives a quick fix.
Have you and/your wife had any counselling in connection with your grief?
