Facing up to our situation

[mike.s]

Hi stoney,
I know exactly how you feel, I was there only a matter of a couple of weeks ago, and I can't beleive how far I have come in such a short time with the help of everyone on this forum. Please don't feel ashamed, and you are not stupid, it is so easy to get into debt. For such a long time I have been using cards to pay for pretty much everything, just kidding ourselves things will get better. It's only when you take your head out of the sand that you realise how bad things are and it will not get sorted without help. Realisation of the terrible situation we are in really hit home when Peter didn't have anything left to rob and I couldn't pay Paul any longer. I ended up virtually wiping out my 10 year old daughters savings to cover, or rather part cover, minimum payments. When it hit home I felt sick to my stomach, and I knew I was in a terrible situation and I couldn't go on any more. Very emotional rollercoaster ride started and is still running. Beleive me I know how hard it is to pick up that phone and actually speak to someone, and I know how easy it is to come up with excuses to put it off. I hit rock bottom, and felt ashamed, stupid, sleepless nights, how the hell did I get myself into this mess and what am I going to do now. I know exactly what you are going through, it's terrifying, when the realisation really sinks in. But with the help of everyone on this forum I feel like I have come such a long way and really do feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel. But you must pick up that phone! wow can't beleive it is me saying that, but you must and do it now, please don't put it off! Speak to Melanie and her team, Tina and Angela will look after you I promise. They wont judge and will put you at ease straight away, they will offer genuine help and support. I am meeting Melanie on Friday, and yes I'm very, very nervous, but the best thing I ever did was pick up that phone. Do it and start putting your life back together, you will feel much better when you have made that call, I promise. Let us know how you get on.
Very best wishes and good luck
Mike

[thebear29uk]

Hi Stoney and welcome

I just want to say to you that you are doing the right thing. It sounds to me like you have been following the forum silently for a while, (either that or speed-reading the last 250 posts!!) so you have a feel for what is involved.

If you haven't already done so I would recommend you read Mike's posts regarding his situation.

http://www.iva.co.uk/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=6267

This shows how difficult he found it to even pick up the phone and speak to somebody at first now here he is, the seasoned poster, offering help to others. That is what makes this forum so great. You go from new member to "forum expert" in a relatively short space of time and the knowledge gained is invaluable when dealing with some of the sharp practices employed by some of the collection agencies.

Mikes 11 page thread tells the journey of a proud father trying to make his way in the world and provide for his family. It shows his anguish, good and bad days, knockbacks, glints of hope and overall a man wrestling with his conscience to do something about his debts.

We've all been there thinking "I'll make that call tonight" but somehow don't get round to it because to confront it is to recognize we have a problem. Once we do it we are on the road to re-taking control of our finances.

Finally, as you have already worked out, you will be in very safe hands with Melanie and all your options will be discussed.

The very best of luck

Dave

[mike.s]

Dave that really brought a tear to my eye, and made me realise how far I have come in just a few weeks with the help of this forum, a big, big thank you to all.
The current thread, wow didn't realise how big it is now sorry to go on guys, is not the first one I posted. Stoney if it helps read my first post, sorry though not sure how you can log onto it as I'm not very tech minded, but I will never forget the night I found this forum and sat down and poured my heart out, it is a lifeline it really is. I was so desperate, didn't know which way to turn or what to do. I just knew that I had a major, major problem and there was no way out. I couldn't make the minimum payments, couldn't get any more money, borrowed loads of parents even took money from the kids accounts (which my mum has been putting in over the years) and felt sick, at my wits end, tired and desperate. I sat at my computer and let it all out on the forum in floods of tears. I really didn't know what the hell I was going to do. Without this forum and the wonderful help and support from everyone on it I seriously don't know what I would have done.
Stoney I only say to read my first post (sorry if you know how to find it) as I saw so much of myself in your post, and if it helps then fantastic. But you must make the call, you wil start to feel so much better, long way to go, but at least you will feel better and you will be moving in the right direction, towards the light at the end of that dark tunnel, take it from me don't put it off, you will get so much help from this forum, so post away and let everyone help, we are all there for you.
Very best wishes and good luck
Mike

[Adam Davies]

Hi Stoney
Welcome to the forum
Regards

Andy Davie
IVA.co.uk Spokesperson

About me:
http://www.iva.co.uk/andy_davie_profile.asp

IVA Helpline: 0800 197 4838
http://www.iva.co.uk/iva_helpline.asp

[stoney]

Thank you everyone and Mike, I read your posts and can liken our situation and feelings to yours in a big way. I havent spoken to Melanie or any of her team yet but will be doing just that in the coming week. I need to get all our figures down on paper and get my head aroung it all. Yes I have been studying the forum for a month or so, contemplating our future and plucking up courage to do something about it. We still have room to rob peter and paul but we really dont want to do that any more. It just doesnt feel right to do it any more and we both want to sort out our situation once and for all. We will sort this and I am so glad I found this site, its a great community feeling here and with the experts comments, you know your not guessing at answers. Mike, thanks and take care, I will keep you all informed of "the telephone call" when its done. x

[mike.s]

Stoney you've already taken a huge step, well done. Please don't leave it too long to pick up the phone, you don't need all of the figures to hand to start with, just speak to someone, then one step at a time, it will all come together. Once you have made that initial call you will want it to move faster than you could ever have imagined. Make the call soon.
Very best wishes and good luck, everyone's hear to help and listen when you need that shoulder.
Mike

[Skippy]

As Mike says you don't need all the figures to start with - I didn't have a clue about how much I actually owed until I went through it on the phone. Talk about getting a shock - I thought I owed about £35k, but it was actually £65k!

You will feel so much better when you have made the phone call - good luck x

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is the present - a gift to make the most of.

View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[iva.com]

Hi Stoney,

I just want to say good luck with everything and please keep us posted as to how it all goes.

Kind regards,
Terry Balfour
IVA.com

IVA.com - The IVA Comparison Site
100s of reviews, All IPs and IVA firms rated.

Use our IVA firm comparison tool to find best IVA firm for you:
http://www.iva.com/iva_comparison_1.asp

[emma_t]

Hi Stoney and welcome to the forum
The hardest step is admitting you have a problem and confronting it on paper, the next hardest step is plucking up the courage to seek advice.
Well done for getting this far.
If you have not done so, please fill out the page to contact Melanie on her site as I can't recommend her company highly enough.
The advice right from the beginning was spot on with no false promises or unrealistic figures.
I had my iva approved on Monday and its such a relief to know where I stand again and being on the road to debt freedom!
Good luck with your journey
Emma