Family Changed their mind

[Julie]

Gill - firstly, keep going with the IVA. Its a shame your family couldn't help out but you'll survive and please don't feel stupid. Anyone who faces up to any problems is far from stupid. Otherwise we'd all be in the stupid gang [:D]

Secondly and most importantly, how is your son? Poor you, bet you would have killed them if you'd caught the yobs ( I'm being polite).Trouble is if you'd caught them, you would have ended up hauled before the courts! Have the police been out?

Julie x

[kal]

Gill - sorry to hear your family won't help you out any more - but you should not feel anything but proud of yourself for facing up to your debts.
Hope your son is ok and that the police finally get their finger out and catch his attackers.
k.

[size5]

How times change, I have posted previously here on the lack of police action on certain things. Burglary, 3 day response, car vandalised no response at all.

Many years ago, my mother ran a hairdressers and my family was a plumber who worked away a lot during the week. She used to delight in telling the story of how one friday tea-time she was clearing up in the shop when a big drunk walked in and started demanding money. We lived over the shop, and there were 4 young children peering over the bannister to see the commotion. As she was explaining that she had already banked the takings my dad walked in from working away, sizing up the situation very quickly, picked him up by the hair and dragged him round to the nearest cop shop, about a 1/4 mile away. The drunk complained about being assaulted whereupon the sergeant told him that he was lucky not to have suffered more, threw him in a cell and had him in court next day where he was fined about 3 quid in old money.

Nowadays they'd have locked the honest guy up and sent the would be burglar on a trip to get over his "distress" and violation of his "human rights"

I'm with Mel on this, what is the world coming to?

Regards.

[elizabethr]

I know how you feel to have gone through your situation with your family and to have them make you feel you are stupid. We had a similar situation years ago and we weren't even in debt. We wanted to buy a house when we first got married and we had enough income (how times have changed!!) but no deposit. My husband used to tell me how his family always made him feel useless and wouldn't ask for anything but I felt sure it was just him interpreting things wrong and surely they would help. His parents asked us to go round with our income and expenditure budget, we sat there while they wanted to know "everything" that was going on for two hours only for them to say that they couldn't help us as it would mean they would be short for their days out as they used the interest off their investments to live on (also had extremely good police pension. I have never felt so humiliated and belittled. I then understood why my husband felt the way he did and felt quite cross about the way they had asked us to do that. Anyhow the lesson learned from that was that I felt very sad that they led such a self centred life. They have never helped financially or time wise, never taken their grandaughter out for the day and never babysat whilst I have never had to feel obliged and spend time with people who I don't need to just because they have the name "family". I have plenty of proper family, and by that I don't just mean blood relatives, and social family who are always there when we need them. So don't feel cross about it just feel sad for people who feel the need to know all about things but won't help.

[Skippy]

Size5, did you see recently that it had been suggested that response times should be revised to 3 hours for an urgent call and 3 days for a non urgent call? It was thrown out in the last paper to go through parliament, but I couldn't believe it was even considered!

[size5]

I despair sometimes Skippy I really do. Thing is, you can't even blame the boys in blue themselves, they are handicapped by lack of numbers and too much red tape so we end up with plastic policemen who won't jump in and save a drowning child as it is against "health and safety" rules.

Makes me fume so I should probably end the ranty bit here.

Regards.

[Skippy]

Same here. I've always wanted to join, but sometimes I wonder if I would be any good. I was reading yesterday that a man who killed a police woman is getting day release from the secure hospital but is classed as so dangerous that the police have been warned not to approach him as he has a pathological hatred of the police. Now that is scary.

[gill.p]

Well, my son was attacked at 6.30pm yesterday and I have just received a phone call from the police saying that they will be round for a statement tomorrow evening at 8.30pm!!!!!!!! How appauling it that????? and in the meantime, these thugs are possibly out there selecting their next poor victim!!!! My poor son is ok, thank god, but definately seems to have lost his confidence!!!!!

[gill.p]

Police called today, put interview off tomorrow!!! how mad!!!!

[Viki.W]

Jezz Gill, that's terrible. I just hope your son is able to get through this, poor thing. Thinking of you both.

[Soulgrowth]

No wonder the country is in such a state ... it gives one no confidence whatsover [:(]

Debbie

[kallis3]

And yet within 15 minutes of one of my neighbours reporting a domestic in the road (it was good entertainment - never usually happens down our street!),the police were there.

Sods law though - they'd all gone back inside and it was quiet!

Hasten to add that it's temporary lodgers next door but one - will be glad when they've left!

[freelili]

Hi Gill p

I am so sorry to hear of your news.

I hope your son is Ok and the swines are caught, it must have been really upsetting for you.

Also I am so sorry about the news from your famiy. How horrible that you trusted them enough but show them your vunerable side only for them to dismiss the stress and torment youre going through. I really feel for you,

I hope youre OK, I hope you get to show how much stronger you are.

Thoughts are with you.

[gill.p]

Thanks Freelili,

Its hard when you trust someone to help you out and they give you false hope, but I keep focused on how awful things where before my IVA, when I woke up in the morning and was disappointed that I had woken up at all,and that was if I was lucky enough to get to sleep in the first place, but things are so much better now!.

Thank you all for your kind wishes for my son, he is coping ok, not too badly beaten and is buying his first legal drink this thursday! Yes he is 18 and taking his mum out to buy her a drink!!!! I am lucky with my kids but if anyone ever hurt them, I get angry!!! I am sure you would all feel the same.

Thanks again.

[freelili]

Awww I am glad youre Ok, I really felt for you, this is such a sad way for your family to be. I told my family everything and they were fine, really supportive, I was offered help and they didnt judge but since then its the unmentionable and I still feel a little bit less, probably more perceived than actual.

My son was kicked in the head in a special school and taken to hospital for stiches and obs, the culprit is in prison now, they closed ranks, I went up there incensed and upset as my son is so inoffensive but very small. He (the culprit), was supposed to be supervised at all times, he wasnt, the staff were less than helpful, knowing it was their fault, so I called the police, my son had to go onto video with a 'special' (whatever that means). If it hadnt been for a girl in a wheelchair screaming for help it might have been worse. Its the most upsetting thing, and I would have killed that swine if he hadnt been sent back home to Wales to think again. As far as I know this was his 3rd offence, thank God he has been locked up, whatever his problems were.

I hope you enjoy your sons 18th... Good luck with the IVA, show them all what youre made of... Its only money, youre life is worth so much more. Dont give up, we are always here for you.

Love and best wishes.