Fed Up!

[davram1967]

Hi all.
I've posted a few times with questions that have been answered very well, thank you. At the moment I am waiting to hear whether or not my IVA is viable and the wait is playing havoc with my stomach! I'm sure you've all been through it and survived but right now I am feeling really worried that it will not be seen as viable, although the lovely lady that I have been speaking to seemed to think that I had a good chance that my case would be taken up. Trouble is I am a natural pessimist (in order to avoid disappointment!)and can't help but fear the worst. If it's not taken up, I really don't know what to do. The thought of bankrupcy scares me witless and I have been told that a DMP would not be right for me.
The amount I owe is astounding. I can't believe I've let us get in this mess and can't believe where the money has gone. We have a second hand telly, a 12 year old car with over 100,000 miles on the clock, even our PC was given to us by a friend who was going to throw it out! My mobile was given to me as well. We don't have expensive tastes in clothes or food. Most of our clothes are from Primark. We've never been abroad on holiday, a week in Yarmouth with the In-Laws was the best we could offer. Our daughters have never gone without but even they don't have expensive taste, despite one of them being 14. I have a relatively well paid job, but even this is not enough to pay all the bills each month. The cards are now maxed out so there is nowhere left to go.
Sorry to go on but there is a lot to get of my chest. I should have acted months or even years ago but, like a lot of others, I tried to borrow my way out of it and ended up living on credit cards. I don't want sympathy, I know it's down to me and my wife. We should have had more control. I want to pay back what I owe and am committed to doing whatever it takes in an IVA. I just hope I hear something soon.
Thanks for listening.

[kallis3]

davram, we've all been there! I am a pessimist as well and have always said that if you look on the black side then things can't get worse and anything good that happens is a bonus!

I was told that as I was only offering 31p in the pound that my IVA might not be approved - it really upset me as I was actually being optimistic for once! However, it was accepted with very few modifications.

I don't think anyone realises just how much they owe until they sit down and work it out - it's scary when you do that! It is so easy to splash the plastic when you are out - doesn't seem like real money does it? Trouble is, you reach your limit far too quickly. I took out loans to pay off the cards - and then ran them up again.

I am sure that everything will be ok. Hang in there and keep posting. We are all here for you and each other

[freelili]

Hi there

I do know how it feels to be so churned up inside I cant bear it, ao I really feel for you right now.

Have you looked into Bankruptcy? I have to say when that was first mentioned to me, it scared my pants off. However, I soon realised it wasnt as bad as I thought, no one was going to come in and pick up my armchair, fridge and TV and waltz them out through the door.

I dont know your status with regards to home ownership. You could lose your home in bankruptcy if you own it. This need not be the end of the world.

An IP wouldnt take your case on if there is no chance the creditors will agree, you have already said a DMP is not viable.

What is done is done, you cant turn the clock back and when we realise the 'mess' we are in it is all too easy to just beat ourselves up for getting here. However, youre trying to address it and thats all you can do.

I would say, if you look into BR, read Skppy 13's, Scaredkez and others blog. You will have a better idea of whats involved. It might help take that terrible fear away and help you to feel less desperate.

I wish you the best of luck, you are amongst friends here on the forum, who know only too well what youre going through right now.

[indebtforever]

hi dav we have all been there on this forum your amoung friends here who support each other in trying times i hope all goes well for you i am sure it will[:)]

[nomoredosh]

Oh my god, you have just said exactly how I feel this morning! I am totally depressed today. I sent off all my I&E forms yesterday and I think it has really hit me today. I know my husband is really worried but I can't admit to him how I am feeling as he suffers from a really bad heart condition, so I find myself trying to buoy him along. Can anybody tell me now what the next step will be? I was going to say that it is good to hear that other people are in the same boat but i don't think they are the right words but I am sure you all know what I mean.[V]

[indebtforever]

hi yes i remember the waiting its so daunting but they will be in touch soon i+e is a very important part probably the most important part of the iva make sure you have added everything and allowed enough but i am sure you have keep posting

good luck

[Skippy]

I can understand how you feel - I managed to get myself into £65k of debt and the only thing I have to show for it is the lights in the living room that don't even work properly, a fridge freezer, my car (nothing flash, a Vauxhall Corsa) and a ring that was supposed to be a present from my OH (a long story!). I was so ashamed of the debt I was in and really didn't know what to do.

One thing I would say is don't be scared of BR. I was told at the beginning that I didn't want to go BR, and as I thought it was something terrible I agreed. When it actually happened, I found that while it wasn't pleasant, it was nowhere near as bad as I was expecting.

[kallis3]

Skippy, you are lucky to have so much to show for yours! Apart from our car (coming up to 3 years old and will have to last us now for another 5 - Skoda, so not even as flash as a Corsa!), ours tended to go on holidays. We have memories and video and still footage and that is it! It really hurts that we can no longer go away. Hubbie is retired and at home all day, so he gets no break away from home at the moment. Haven't been away since December 2005 now and although that was to New York, it was b****y freezing and we didn't relax. Looking forward to that last payment so we can go somewhere hot!

Nomoredosh - my hubbie has a beart complaint, and COPD as well. I tried to keep things from him by hiding post when I could. Didn't work and he found out anyway. Made him ill for a few days so that made me feel worse! We are there for each other now though and are determined to see this through.

Ours took about 8 weeks from start to finish. Now your forms have gone in it will start the ball rolling and you will have your date before you know it.

Chin up!

[plasticdaft]

Just making the decision(after advice)to go forward and propose an IVA/Trust deed(for us scottish folk),can take a weight off the shoulders. I even felt better after talking to 2 women in the local CAB about my wife and I's 70k plus unsecured debt. No idea how we got there,although the wife being a student for 4 years didnt help much,although she is the main breadwinner now thankfully!!!
It really isnt the kind of thing you can keep from those directly around you,even our 11 year old knows that money is tight just now so doesnt ask for everything he sees in the shops,so I wouldnt keep anything from your other half,it will always come back to bite you on the bum(as they say).

And Davram,thanks for posting,we are here to listen through choice,no one drags us to our pc's to read posts(although I am led to believe that Melanie is at times handcuffed to her pc!!)

Paul.

[nomoredosh]

Thanks for your kind words kallis3. I'm not keeping anything from my husband reference our debts I just meant that I can't tell him how low I feel at the moment as I feel he needs me to be bright and positive for him.

[Viki.W]

Hey Davram, just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you, It's a crazy, crazy time, I know, but you'll get through it and we're all here to listen. X

Nomoredosh, it's lovely that you're thinking of your husband but don't bottle too much up or it'll affect your health and well being. Keep posting on here, I find it helps when I'm blue. X

[davram1967]

Thanks everyone.
I've been wanting to post for some time. You all seem like such good friends and it feels good to be included.

[Ryan84]

Hey Davram1967 - i just joined the forum today and im in no place what so ever to offer advice but i can say that when i was in your position i felt the same way buddy..

Countless hours lying in bed wondering how i managed to get into the mess i was in.. countless more wondering how the hell i was going to get out of it..

IVA would definatly help if you got it but don't count on it being a saviour to your situation.. Bankrupsy would suck too but its got to be better than how it is now, right?

The silver lining im trying to point out is that no matter which way it goes.. a couple of years from now it'll all be over.. and you get to start again..

Im confident you'll land on your feet

[facingittogether]

hi

just want to say to all of you that although this is a awful time you are going through, there will be a solution and light at the end of the tunnel!

i really thought a few months ago that we were a hopeless case our debts were well in excess of 100 grand! our iva was approved at 30p in the £1 in april and although we now have to budget life has never been better for us as a family, the stress has been taken away!

all of you starting on the journey keep yer chins up, keep posting, as you will get lots of support from friends on here! be proud that you are addressing your problems!

love barb x

[thanna]

This is definately the place to get it all of your chest we;ve all been there and the waiting at the start is the worst ,Hopefully your ivas will be accepted and you can move on,it can be hard keeping to it but when i look back at how we were living pre iva starting each month in the red robbing peter to pay paul life now is so much better Keeping everthing crossed for you Tracy xx[:)]