hi, i'm a bit of a worrier too but tend to be more realistic than my hubby who is able to push concerns away(hence the mess we were in),but things are much better now.
i had a real fed up couple of hours tonight,weather is soooo nice i had a longing to go away but we can't afford it. i worry about things breaking too.
we'd had a lovely day,walked the dog(me on my scooter),took sarnies&shared a bag of chips with them,took a supermarket brand bottle of pop to share,then treated ourselves to a ice cream.
coming home made me take stock of how blessed we are.
hug x
Nothing stays the same...everything changes..hang on in there!
Hi janez just to say I hope you are having a non worrying day, I know what's it's like my husband says I will always find something to worry about and he's probably right.
Oscar
need to smile today? go on check out my blogs - I'll add to them regularly
Our IVA's over YIPPEE unbelievable!Seems like yesterday it was approved despite everything
hi oscar, had to laugh yes my husband says exactly the same about me! not feeling to bad at the moment, getting used to being careful with our money and doing ok where thats concerned.my thoughts are now....worry about it when it happens! see how ong that lasts with me eh.
i worried all the way through for 6years ! its stressful .there were times when no one understood why we couldnt do stuff!.I feel its no good telling you its plain sailing but that its hard going on an iva ,when you cant afford that icecream when out in the park.Thankfully for me we completed our iva and it all seams such along time ago!.good luck with your iva just keep working at it
brilliant orange! no it isn't always easy but it is so much better than where we were,i was so scared.
i can't wait until we get my parents paid back,(they lent us £ to do a F&F IVA).
my hubby swears he won't take anymore cc's out,i hope he keeps to it. he can't afford to be getting into that again. can't wait to be totally clear of it all.
Nothing stays the same...everything changes..hang on in there!
what seems to worry me most is...what if for some reason our iva fails and we get made bankrupt! i am so scared of loosing my home.obviously im still new to the iva so perhaps as time passes these feelings will go away....hope so. hubby says he dosent even think about the iva now.
Its no good worrying about "What Ifs" - I know thats easier said than done but if you think about it you begin to realise what a waste of time and energy it really is. No one knows what the future holds! Just enjoy your life - be glad that you are now addressing your problems and just look forward. Life is too short to be worrying all the time x
hi footiemad, i am getting better with my worries than what i were. i keep telling myself..worry about something IF it happens.yes your right life is too short.
I used to feel exactly the same and every so often the feelings would crop up again. I worried over minor details, every annual review was a concern and when it came to the end I began irrationally fearing my house would be repossessed because I couldn't release the equity in it. Sometimes you will irrationally fear things but what I found was that the forum is a great place to raise concerns and seek reassurance. There are plenty of experienced people on here and loads of experts to offer advice and you can ask questions anonymously.
The other thing I learnt though was that the IVA company are there for you. You are paying them a not insubstantial fee, if you have fears or concerns call them. They are there to help and not judge, at the end of the day they are in the business of helping people clear their debts so you should jot feel afraid to call.
I used to worry and worry until one annual review the lady on the phone asked me how I was feeling and coping and was genuinely concerned, I knew from then on that they were there to help.
Overall the process seems hard but I promise you it gets easier. I've completed now and don't regret any of it. The IVA will teach you how to budget and live with in your means. Not many people can do that. You learn to save and say no to things and value what you have. Overall I look back and see the IVA as a completely positive experience despite my concerns at the time. My family said they could afford to bail me out but I knew that this wasn't their mess to fix and I needed to learn the hard lessons of repayment and budgeting.
Look forward to.a bright debt free future, don't dwell in the past and over past mistakes. 5-6 years seems a long time but on the scale of things it's not.
"Just when you think that you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends."
Hi Janez - I feel exactly the same as you and I haven't even had my IVA approved yet! Meeting is scheduled for 17th October. I already fear and fret over what I won't be able to do / afford - but the reality is that I can't afford to do it now anyway!
I guess the whole thing that keeps me going is that I have to be responsible and provde single handedly for 2 beautiful boys. It's not that they want much but rather I want to provide the ordinary like going to the cinema, having tea out and being able to buy those much need trainers that wear out so quickly.
You know in 12 years as a single parent their father has never provided one penny of support - not to mention any emotional or practical support. We survived albeit through hard times. And we will survive this. When I sit back and look at the bigger picture - I had a really and I mean really crap childhood - my children have hot chocolate, warmth, comfort, security, cookie, hugs, and great conversations, cosy saturday nights and simple treats that make us hug each other. And yes I shout my head off at them too. But and it is a bit BUT... they know how much they are loved and nothing and nobody can replace that. so when I say we can't afford that for a couple of months they say ok!
They understand because I have taught them to understand and never want them to make the error of my ways.
To be honest I am dreading the 17th October - my life will change. But with this change becomes a better life.
I haven't slept for months - and I rarely eat - this whole thing has consumed me but I am going to make changes starting Friday going to the doc for some much needed hrt.
I lay on the couch today an hour before the boys returned from school - fell asleep and dreamt I was going to die... it really is only my boys that keep me going and what better reason, their innocent faces, hopes and dreams.... I really screwed up my life and it's too late now.... but they needn't do the same. So for me... IVA.... something that shouldn't have happened but did... c'est la vie. Stuff happens! The most important thing for me is that my boys don't reapeat my mistake - I failed they don't need to.
need to smile today? go on check out my blogs - I'll add to them regularly
Our IVA's over YIPPEE unbelievable!Seems like yesterday it was approved despite everything
we used to call our IVA Gordon so noeone else knew what we were talking about if they overheard!
footiemad wrote:
It will get easier - we always refer to our IVA as Ivor that always seems to make us smile about it rather than hate it - just a silly thing really x
need to smile today? go on check out my blogs - I'll add to them regularly
Our IVA's over YIPPEE unbelievable!Seems like yesterday it was approved despite everything
