Feeling depressed

[Ruth.mh]

Just lately I have been feeling really down about my finances and the fact that I am in an IVA.

I have been trying to work out where I went so wrong in life and why I got into such a mess. What I think is making it worse is that I still living at home at 31 and know its going to be exstremly difficult to move out and rent with my IVA hanging over me.

I am desperate to move out but worry about affording everything whilst in an IVA and what if I can't afford to pay the £360 I pay now.

I just feel such a failure for even being in my situation and if my family knew they would be so disappointed and angry, which makes me feel awful.

[Shining]

Hi, sorry to read you're feeling down. IVA's aren't easy but are a debt solution that will see you debt free in a few years.

However, don't beat yourself up about why things are wrong and ow you got into the mess, we did (both you and I) but we're now trying to get out of the 'mess'.

You're not a failure in any way, shape or form!

Remember we're here for support and I do have days where I feel I've let my children down but you will get there and then you can be proud of what you've achieved by completing an IVA. x

[Ruth.mh]

Thank you. I think once I have got over the hurdle of renting my own home and feel settled then I will feel better about the IVA. At the moment I just feel like my fiancial disaster is causing a massive block in my life and it worries me that I won't be able to overcome it.

[Shining]

A lot of the professionals who post always say don't let an IVA rule your life so if you want to go out and rent then do investigate it and find a way forward with your IP. Could you share? two can often really live as cheaply as one but you'll have your independance. x

[KM1512]

Ruth I am really sorry to hear you are feeling down at the moment - one thing I will say is that you are not a failure because the fact you entered an IVA is proof that you want to deal with your debt I know it is hard but it is best not to look back at our mistakes and try an put are thoughts and energy into the future and if you want to move out and rent then that is where you put your energy and make it happen good luck

[Ruth.mh]

Thank you, I have woken up this morning with a much more positive outlook. I am not normally a negative person but I think I have had too much time on my hands to think with it being school holidays and me a teacher.

Onwards and upwards.

[Shining]

I teach too Ruth but I go in now and then as I teach adults we keep a skeleton staff in to continue their tutoring.

I'm glad you feel more positive, sometimes when we think too much (and I know it's me) we can make things seem far more worse than they are.

All the best and do keep in touch with the forum. x

[plasticdaft]

Just treat the IVA as a loan to repay all your debt in full. When you feel down work out what you would have been paying had you not opted for an IVA(we were £1600 a month and not reducing many of the credit card balances),with out payments set at £535 a month we were saving a fortune(not really as we were using credit to pay 3/4's of the debts!!)

You are allowed time to feel down,its part of life to reflect on what could have and should have been done,but remain positive that you are taking leaps and bounds forwards in managing a debt problem that without positive action would only have got worse!!

Paul

[lem]

Hi Ruth, sorry to hear how you are feeling I think we can all identify with those feelings when you are in an IVA, I totally understand and agree with what Paul says about treating it as a loan repayment, but I also feel that it's hard to do that sometimes as a loan repayment doesn't impact on your life in the same way (ie, not being able to rent/sell your home etc!)

I also think,looking at your ticker that you are 9 months in to your IVA, you are at that point where you are over the honeymoon period so to speak, so the relief and joy of getting the IVA approved have now worn off but all you see ahead of you is endless months of severe budgeting and restriction, being a few months ahead of you I can understand where you are coming from as I felt the same. All I can say is that this journey we are on, is full of peaks and troughs, once you get your first review out of the way and are into your second year, you will start to feel you are getting somewhere, we are almost 18 months in now so have just 3 1/2 yrs to go which is 25% of the way there!, I still have those times when I feel really down but then pick myself up and carry on.

I don't envy my friends anymore as I listen to them and their spending patterns and then when I read between the lines I can see just how it is all fuelled by debt, now I know that in 3 and a half years time we are going to be debtfree, and I actually feel quite virtuous now knowing that we are managing our money without credit, although sometimes things are very tight!

[Ruth.mh]

Very wise words, thank you both. I do feel much n=more positive today. I think it has been the 'honeymoon' period wearing off and the reality setting in but it is a better reality than the one I would have been facing had I not gone down the IVA route.

For me its the fact that I still have many of lifes milestones to achieve e.g. moving out, marriage and children and with an IVA all of this seemes sooo much harder and being 31 I feel my biological ticking making it all seem that much more stressfuol.

However, I know I have done the right thing and I will be debtfree in a few years and then for the rest of my life as I have well and truly learnt my lesson.


Thank you for your support.