Feeling lost and scared

[Alexprison]

Hello there, myself and Hubby have applied for an IVA and at the moment we are waiting for our draft proposal to come through.
We owe £36,000 and if the IVA goes ahead, we will pay back 85% of the debt.
We are feeling very nervous and a scared as well as ashamed[:(]
The hardest thing for me is that I feel I am letting my young daughter down.
This situation is making us both feel ill[xx(].
Would like to speak to others in our situation as that we cannot talk to our families about our debts.
Cannot wait until (hopefully) IVA goes through and we 'can see light at the end of the tunnel' because at the moment all I see is more darkness.

[mikebdomain]

Hi Alexprison and welcome to the forum, relax in the knowledge that you have come to the right place to talk to and meet people in the same situation.

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LEYBRIDGE LIMITED
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[couple31]

Welcome to the forum

You should have every chance with an offer like that

And don't feel ashamed, most of us are/have been in your situation

[:D]

[Alexprison]

Thanks, I am so down with worry but we are trying to keep upbeat although I wont relax until it is set up and running.

[Oliver]

You are seeking a legitimate solution to your debt problem so you should not feel ashamed at all. Paying back as much as is reasonably possible to your creditors is admirable. Keep your chin up and good luck with your proposal.

Best Regards
Oliver

Thomas Charles and Co Ltd.
Experts in personal debt solutions.
Read customer feedback at: www.thomascharles.com/about_us.asp

[emma_t]

Hi There
First of all well done for facing up to and admitting to yourself that you are in trouble, that I found was one of the hardest things to do and adding everything up was terrifying.
Next, you are in the right place for any advice, support, questions you may have as everyone understands and this forum is a mix of people in the same boat and professionals and is the best one I have found.
I also have not told anyone of my problems and am totaly alone, I have my creditors meeting on Monday but it has been so hard to get to this stage and still have my sanity. You will get there and you have eachother to talk to.
Please,please don't feel ashamed and that you have let your daughter down, lots of posters on here have children and will give advice on how to deal with that I am sure.
You are doing the right thing in confronting your debts and should be commended for that, the waiting and worrying during the proposal stage is awful but you are on your way to a solution.
Good Luck with things and I hope it works out for the best for you
Emma x

[cr15py]

Alex, I am at the same stage as you at the moment - I have just received my draft proposal. I agree it's a terrifying time, but I have found myself more relieved since I admitted to myself that I needed to sort my problem out. I'm confident that a huge weight has been lifted off my mind. I was surviving on about 5 hours of very interrupted sleep a night, and getting a very, very short fuse - but I feel a lot better since I have been in contact with my IP, and she has been very supportive in what I have done so far.

[ray_a]

Hi Alex and cr15py

Welcome and please don't feel beat yourself up about what has happened!

There are at least 5m people who have debt problems and you are most probably the sensible one for trying to resolve the issue yourself.

as for your daughter, hopefully the proposal will allow something in your finances for her to have a life and with you both that is a lot!

Hopefully you will find the site helpful as we have parts which deal with how to save for Christmas and short breaks!

If you need any info please feel free to ask we have got a lot of experience on here!

Good Luck!

[aguise]

Hi alexprison
The waiting part is always difficult, either way you will find a solution and some peace of mind. I pushed the debt to the back of my mind for ages just managing to hold our heads above water thinking if we can just get through the next couple of years we would be ok, when deep down I knew we were heading for trouble.
The best thing we ever did was face up to it, and now nearly finishing our first year in the iva, there is light at the end of that tunnel and I am starting to see it as you will.
You have not let your daughter down you are trying to improve things for her future, there are millions in this position, admitting the problem is the hardest thing for a lot of people. Stay positive, get all your info etc that is needed back and dont accept anything that you cant reasonably afford.
I wish you all the best and to you cr15py, you will get there.

Ang

Please visit my blog at http://aguise.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[e.h]

Hi alexprison and cr15py

Just wanted to wish you the very best of luck with your IVAs. You have done the hardest bit. I am just starting my second year in my IVA and I have to say that the first year flew past. Please try and keep a positive attitude.

Good luck

Liz
x

[ruby38]

Hi Alexprison,

I know how you feel. I am sure every one here feels the same (or has done at some time).
I am totally confusued, scared and feel physicaly sick.
I can't talk to my family about the mess i am in, i can't even tell my husband.
I owe £29000 and just keep thinking how did i let it get this bad.

Then i sat reading this forum and seeing that others do get out of this situation i know some how i will do the same as you will to.

We must look to the future things will get better, they have to.
Good luck
Ruby

[scaredkez]

to all who are new and scared the waiting part for the proposal is very hard as you feel you are in limbo, unfortunately it is a stage we all have to go through although not a very nice one, the forum is here to guide you through this time as best as possible, i wish you all luck those who are waiting for the proposal to be set up ready for creditors meeting.
kerri

Please view my blog at: http://scaredkez.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[Adam Davies]

Hi alexprison
Has a debt management plan been discussed with you ?
regards

Andy Davie
IVA.co.uk Spokesperson

About me:
http://www.iva.co.uk/andy_davie_profile.asp

IVA Helpline: 0800 197 4838
http://www.iva.co.uk/iva_helpline.asp

[Alexprison]

Thank you all, I am begining to see that I am having really bad days or days where i feel a bit more positive. Today is a bit better.
I relise that i am so nervous about getting things moving but worrying about something that is out of my control at the moment is pointless.
Thank you all for the support, it feels better to get things off my chest with others in the same situation because you are all, or have been there yourselves. I hope I can prove to be as supportive to others when needed as you people have been for me x

[Soulgrowth]

Hi Alexprison

Just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you ... I am sure that you have now realised that you are amongst friends here [:)]

Keep in touch.

Debbie

www.familyceremonies.co.uk

www.soulgrowth.co.uk