Feeling Sad and Annoyed at Myself

[Skippy]

Well I had the news I have been dreading today - my uncle died from cancer this morning. I knew it was only a matter of time, but it doesn't make it any easier. At least he's out of pain, and I can remember his as the vibrant person that he was.

I am so angry at myself - I can't even afford any flowers for his funeral. My partner is going to help me, but I just feel as if I have let everyone down - I shouldn't have to borrow money for something like that.

I am going to have to take a day off work unpaid for the funeral and my partner will (as usual) help me out, so I rang my case manager to confirm that this would only be a one off and that they wouldn't decide that if I could manage for one month then they could have more money off me. They have said that it's ok, and to be honest I think I would have told them where to stick the IVA if they had said anything else!

It has made me realise just how much of a say my IP has got in my life for the next five years. I know I've only got myself to blame, but it doesn't make it any easier. With everything that has happened today I'm probably being over sensitive about this.

Sorry to rant, but I had to get this off my chest, and no-one else really understands. Thanks for listening x

Four down, fifty six to go until freedom!

[freelili]

Skippy I am so sorry, it would be wrong of me to say that I know how you feel, I cant. I can identify with you about the cost of flowers and funeral clothes as I had this problem also. I wanted to say please dont appologise for ranting, it helps, I have replied to you on another post but I didnt know your news then. I can say that I know the feeling of terrible sadness, its still with me everyday. I also know about the telling people to get lost thing, I feel like this too. I got into debt also and I feel bad, like its my fault it all happened, to get me out of debt. You are doing all you can to address your debt problem, you cannot do anymore than that. Hang on in there, accept the help on offer. Please take care of yourself and stuff everyone else for a while.

Lots of love

LILY

[onlypassion]

Hi Skippy,

So sorry to hear of your sad loss, my thoughts are with you right now.

Please don't apologise or blame yourself. This forum is here to allow you to get things off your chest and we are all here to listen and help and support each other as much as possible and please, dont beat yourself up with guilt over your debts. It is such an easy thing to fall into and you need to be proud you have acted and are on the road to recovery from this.

I wish I was able to offer more comforting and reassuring words to you right now.

Again my thoughts are with you and your family.

take care
Andrea x

[Skippy]

Thanks Lily. As you know only too well this sort of thing puts everything else into perspective. Luckily most of my wardrobe is black, so I should be ok for the clothes[:)]

I've had a bit of a 'me' evening - a Krispy Kreme donut (not a luxury when I'm upset) and a glass of Baileys.

You are such a kind person Lily - with everything going on in your life you still take the time to reply to me - thank you. I always look out for your posts as I worry about you - I'll be so happy for you when you post to say everything has worked out for you x

Four down, fifty six to go until freedom!

[freelili]

I am just too soppy, I cannot stand anyone suffering, I always cry at sad films. When anyone had problems at work I was always crying with them. Have another baileys. Dont be worrying about me, I am going through what I need to. My mom didnt suffer at all, she died suddenly but peacefully after spending a day out with my sister and myself, she waved me off, full of life, told me to text when I got home,(it was foggy) I did, she didnt reply. Your uncle did suffer and I am sorry for that. I need a baileys now. Thank you for your kind words tracey, take care all the love

LILY

[scaredkez]

tracey what can i say! i am so sorry its not your fault, but i know how you are feeling in regards to silly things such as flowers which aren't silly to you at this time,but your uncle can see and understand things better now it won't upset him if you can't buy flowers he knows family comes first, yes it does put everything to perspective,remember the man you loved the man who was vibrant it is an embarrasing time when you can't afford flowers but memory and thoughts are worth far more and the care and visits you done before this happened i am sincerely sorry it doeesn't matter what people say grief is a horrible thing and it comes to us all at some part of our life i just wish i could say or do something that would make it better drink all the baileys you need and tomorrow maybe a new hope shines
love kerri