FEELING SO DOWN

[TREES57]

HI ALL, FIRSTLY I'M SO GLAD I FOUNG THIS SITE,IT'S SO COMFORTING TO REALISE THAT I'M NOT ALONE ! A LITTLE HISTORY FIRST.BASICALLY I'VE BEEN WITH CURRENT PARTNER A 11[:(] YEARS AND WHEN HE GOT ILL A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO I HELPED HIM ARRANGE REDUCED PAYMENTS WITH HIS CREDITORS AND MOST OF THEM HAVE BEEN FINE.UNFORTUNATELY IN THE PAST FEW YEARS MY OWN COMMITMENTS HAVE GROWN AND DUE TO VARIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES I'VE NOW HIT A DEAD END AND HAVE HAD TO ADMIT THAT NO MATTER HOW MUCH I SAY "IF I CAN JUST CLEAR THAT,THEN I CAN TRY TO CLEAR THAT " I CAN NO LONGER MEET ALL OUR PAYMENTS.I THINK THE STRAW THAT BROKE THE CAMELS BACK WAS IN SEPT OUR FIRM(WE BOTH WORK FOR THE SAME COMPANY)DECIDED WITH 3 WEEKS NOTICE WE WERE MOVING TO MONTHLY PAY MEANING THAT WE WOULD HAVE TO GO A WHOLE MONTH WITH NO INCOME!SINCE THEN WITH XMAS ETC I'VE COME TO REALISE THAT WE HAVE BEEN RELYING ON CREDIT FOR SOME TIME.
I FEEL SO EMBARRASSED AND STUPID.I CAN'T TELL MY PARENTS THEY'RE ELDERLY AND MY DAD SUFFERS WITH HIS BLOOD PRESSURE,AND I'M AFRAID, BELIEVES THAT IF YOU CAN'T PAY CASH FOR SOMETHING YOU DON'T HAVE IT.MY PARTNER WHO,DON'T GET ME WRONG IS WONDERFUL BUT UNFORTUNATELY IS NOT A WORRIER,AND HAS ALWAYS LEFT THE FINANCES TO ME AS HE SAYS THAT HE IS RUBBISH WITH MONEY !! TURNS OUT I'M NOT GREAT EITHER!
I HAVE BEEN WORRIED SICK ABOUT HOW WE ARE GOING TO SORT THIS OUT.SO FAR I'VE NOT MISSED ANY PAYMENTS BUT NOW IF I PAY MY CREDITORS IN FEB WE WON'T BE ABLE TO EAT.WE HAVE A 9YR CHILD BETWEEN US AND HE HAS TWO THAT HE PAYS MAINTENANCE FOR,I HAVE A 17YR OLD WHO IS AT COLLEGE THAT I HAVE NEVER RECIEVED ANY MAINTENANCE FOR.
I ACTUALLY SAT DOWN THIS MORNING AND ROUGHLY TRIED TO WORK OUT WHAT WE OWED AND I WAS NEARLY PHYSICALLY SICK.WE HAVE 20+ CREDITORS OWING ABOUT 70K !!! THIS IS INCLUDING ALL THE PPI I AM STILL PAYING.WE BOTH WORK FULL-TIME AND COULD AFFORD ABOUT £800 A MONTH.COULD ANYBODY ADVISE.TO BE HONEST ALL IVE DONE THE LAST COUPLE OF WEEKS IS CRY,WORRY, STRESS MYSELF AND NOW OUR RELATIONSHIP IS SUFFERING.WE RENT OUR PROPERTY AND HAVE TWO OLD CARS ON THE ROAD,NOTHING TO REALLY SHOW FOR THE DEBT WE ARE IN.REALLY SORRY TO RAMBLE ON BUT I SEEM TO HAVE RELEASED THE FLOODGATES.....HELP

[TREES57]

SORRY SAD FACE IN WRONG PLACE !!! I'M NOT VERY GOOD ON COMPUTERS !!

[ianmillington]

Hi

We are here to help you. Whilst it's easy for me to say, try not to worry.

A few basic questions, if you don't mind:

1. What do you and your husband do for a living?

2. Do you own your own home or rent?

3. Do you have any assets of significance? If you have a car, what is it and how much is it worth?

4. If you didn't have any debts, how much (roughly) do you think you would have left at the end of each month.

If you can provide that information it will give us a clue as to what you should do.

Regards

ian

[TREES57]

HI, THANK-YOU FOR YOUR QUICK RESPONSE.IN ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTIONS
1. MY PARTNER IS A FULL-TIME ELECTRICIAN,I WORK IN THE OFFICE AS A CONTRACTS SUPERVISOR.
2.WE ARE COUNCIL TENANTS.
3. THERE ARE TWO CARS IN THE FAMILY BOTH M REG AND THE COMBINED WORTH IS PROBABLY IN THE REGION OF £1500.
4. WHAT A NICE THOUGHT! WELL I DID A ROUGH LIST OF OUTGOINGS WHICH IS HARD TO KNOW WHAT TO PUT DOWN FOR MOT'S DENTIST ETC AS THEY ARE UNPREDICTABLE AND WE COULD HAVE APPROX £800 LEFT.

THIS IS WHY I'M SO ANGRY, THAT WE EARN QUITE GOOD MONEY AND WE STILL FIND OURSELVES IN THIS STATE. THE PROBLEM IS THE MORE YOU EARN THE MORE YOU SPEND AND THEN SOMETHING HAPPENS AND YOU REALISE THAT YOU'VE LIVED BEYOND YOUR MEANS.CAN YOU TELL ME WHETHER, IN AN IVA WE WOULD BE ALLOWED CHILDCARE EVEN THOUGH IT IS A FRIEND WHO HAS MY SON AFTER SCHOOL.I GIVE HER £20.00 PER WEEK AS SHE DROPS HIM OFF AND HAS HIM FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS AFTER SCHOOL.ALSO MY OLDEST SON HAS £25 PER WEEK FOR TRAVELLING.(HE HAS TO GET A BUS AND TRAIN TO COLLEGE AND HE WASN'T ENTITLED TO EMA DUE TO WHAT WE EARNED)WOULD THIS BE ALLOWED?
THANK-YOU FOR ANY HELP YOU CAN GIVE.AT THE MOMENT OUR SITUATION CONSUMES MY EVERY WAKING MOMENT(AND THATS A LOT AS I CAN'T SLEEP WELL EITHER)

[wen]

TREES57, while I am in not in any position to give you answers, if you would have £800 'spare' (so to speak) at the end of each month, then I think you would be able to get an IVA and end your worrying once and for all.

I would advise you to go to melaniegiles.com and fill the forms out which ask your incomes/outgoings and debts and someone will contact you to discuss your position. You can call direct though if you prefer to.

Melanie posts on here every day and her staff are excellent and will put you at ease and will answer every question you could possibly have about your debts!

So relax, you have taken a major first step by facing your problems, and you are in excellent company here!

[ianmillington]

AS I see it, you have all 3 main options available: Bankruptcy, DMP and IVA.

DMP is the least likely option in my view given that interest may well continue to accrue on your debts.

Bankruptcy will give the quickest conclusion. You will be instantly relieved of your debts and discharged within 1 year. Based upon your numbers I think it's inevitable that you'll have to make payments into it by way of Income Payments Order/Agreement. This will last for 3 years.

Alternatively you could consider an IVA. Basically you make a proposal to your creditors and if 75% in value of your voting creditors vote to accept it, it's binding on everyone. The downside vs Bankruptcy is that it will generally last for 5 years and the payments will probably be more than in a Bankruptcy because you will have to "sell" it to the creditors.

That is a very broad brush approach. There is a lot more flesh to put on the bones before you can be satisfied that the right advice can be given. You need to speak to an Insolvency Practitioner at length. Make sure there is no fee for the advice. If you feel unsure about what you are being told, take a second opinion.

Hope this helps

[MelanieGiles]

Hi Trees and welcome to the forum

You have already taken the first step to resolving your difficulties - by acknowledging that you cannot continue to live on borrowed money which you cannot afford to repay. It takes courage to admit that you need help, but a problem shared is a problem solved in my book!

You have already confirmed that you feel that you could afford to make ongoing payments to your creditors in the region of £800 per month. This could be done using either an IVA or a DMP, but you ought to take proper advice from an insolvency practitioner as to all of your options.

[TREES57]

THANK-YOU ALL FOR YOUR SPEEDY REPLIES,I WAS REALLY TOUCHED THAT PEOPLE HAD READ AND THEN TAKEN THE TIME TO REPLY.I DON'T REALLY HAVE ANYBODY I CAN TALK TO ABOUT IT.MY PARTNER HAS SAID THAT HE WILL GO ALONG WITH WHATEVER I THINK IS BEST.AS I SAID HE'S NOT ONE OF LIFE'S WORRIERS,AND HE HAS ENOUGH ON HIS PLATE WITH HIS HEALTH.OUR FRIENDS ARE IN GOOD JOBS AND THEIR IDEA OF BEING SKINT IS NOT BEING ABLE TO GO ON HOLIDAY,AND THEY WOULD PROBABLY BE HORRIFIED IF I TOLD THEM WHAT WE OWED.
SORRY TO KEEP ASKING QUESTIONS BUT COULD ANYBODY TELL ME MY PARTNER HAS A NAT WEST STEP ACCOUNT,AND NO DEBT WITH THEM.I HOWEVER HAVE AN ADVANTAGE GOLD WITH A LOAN AND OVERDRAUGHT.I'VE READ ON HERE I WOULD HAVE TO CHANGE BANK ACCOUNTS BEFORE TELLING THEM OF ANY PROBLEMS,ARE THEY ABLE TO TOUCH MY PARTNERS ACCOUNT IF WE SUCCESSFULLY ENTER AN IVA OR WILL HE BE ABLE TO STAY WITH THEM??
THANKS AGAIN XXXX

[ianmillington]

Your partner should be able to keep his NatWest Step account as he doesn't owe them any money . However, it will make sense for both of you to set up a basic bank account with a bank to which neither of you owe any money, simply to put things beyond doubt. This will be much easier for you to achieve before you set the ball rolling formally

Ian

[aguise]

Hi there trees. Just came to say hello and welcome. All the above advice is good os try not to worrythere will be a solution for you. Ask all the questions you want, make sure you research all you options and understand them.
I also would suggest contacting Melanie, you wil;l get a good honest opinion.
I tend to agree with Ian as well it mioght be best to get new accounts away from the creditors to be sure, just a basic account with no overdraft or credit attached. Ther is the coop cashminder, thinkbanking though they charge a monthly fee but I am with them and find the account great. Anyuway i will stop rambling , all the best.

Ang