first time I have spoken to anyone about my debts

[worrywart]

Hello all,
This is my very first time on a forum, and certainly the
very first time I have spoken to anyone about my debts, apart
from my parter, and the lady who has just started me on the road
to trying to get me out of debt.
I have read some of the posts, and have found them helpful, and
at the time of writing this, I am waiting for the nice lady to
ring, with further info on the way forward.
My main concern is telling the family, and my employers finding out.
Any advice on how to handle them!!!
By the way, I have a debt management programme in place at the moment,but this is proving way too much, and since joining the
plan I have incurred more debts....[:(]

[aguise]

Hi worrywart and welcome
We all reach a point where you have to lift your head out of the sand, but life will feel so much better if you deal with the debt.
A lot of people have had the same worry over family and I have not seen anyone who has not gained massive support from them once told, doesnt mean they might not shout a bit but in the end they always seem to be so supportive. Also if they know you have problems they understand more when you cannot afford things that maybe you did with the credit. In an iva your employer does not need to know, the only place your name would appear is the insolvency register and nobody looks at that unless they are on it.

If you dont mind post more of your creditors, debt owed whether you own or rent, income and whats left after paying living costs and before paying debts and others will be able to give much more detailed advice.

All the best Ang

[worrywart]

Thank you very much Ang for your reply,and
I have taken notice of your advice

[MelanieGiles]

Hi worrywart

You don't need to tell either your family or your employers about your IVA if you don't want to, but family support can be very helpful during and throughout the IVA process.

Glad you are finding the forum useful. Don't forget to post more about your IVA journey!

Regards, Melanie Giles, Insolvency Practitioner for over 20 years.

For further details contact me at http://www.melaniegiles.com and view my IVA blog at: http://melaniegiles.blogs.iva.co.uk

[MelanieGiles]

Hi worrywart

You don't need to tell either your family or your employers about your IVA if you don't want to, but family support can be very helpful during and throughout the IVA process.

Glad you are finding the forum useful. Don't forget to post more about your IVA journey!

Regards, Melanie Giles, Insolvency Practitioner for over 20 years.

For further details contact me at http://www.melaniegiles.com and view my IVA blog at: http://melaniegiles.blogs.iva.co.uk

[tracy.h]

Hi agree with Ang family are a great support and i think you will be surprised at the way they rally round.
Remember you have done the right thing in dealing with your problem be very proud of yourself.
Good luck

Tracy

[worrywart]

Hello again,

Since i last posted, I have decided to go for bankruptcy, and agonised over telling my family..Well,over the weekend I told them,
and whilst I am sobbing and saying sorry, over and over again,all
I was told was,dont be daft, we are all behind you all the way, and
I had done totally the right thing!!!
I always knew I had a great family, but now I know just how great they are!!!
I have applied to my local court for all the information I will need to progress further, and just as soon as I am fully informed of all
the ins and outs, and I gather together the court fees, I will be ready for the next step..
I will let you all know how things progess, and thanks for all
the encouragment I have had so far.

[aguise]

Really pleased to hear it went well with your family. It must be a relief to have told them and now you have all their support as well.
All the evry best to you and keep us informed.

Ang

[worrywart]

Thanks Ang,
Yes, what a huge weight off, and I have actually
had two nights sleep on the run, I cant remember the last time I slept well....so yes I feel now I can
start on the road to where ever it leads!!!!

Thanks PJ

[Adam Davies]

Well done to you,this is the start of a new,less stressful life.
Regards

Andy Davie
IVA.co.uk Spokesperson

About me:
http://www.iva.co.uk/andy_davie_profile.asp

IVA Helpline: 0800 197 4838
http://www.iva.co.uk/iva_helpline.asp

[Skippy]

Good luck, and if you have any questions please keep posting and we will try and help.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is the present - a gift to make the most of.

View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[scaredkez]

good luck and well done for telling your family, its so surprising how so many people are supportive especially family.
kerri

Please view my blog at: http://scaredkez.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[thebear29uk]

Hi all

Well I finally bit the bullet last night and told my parents. My mum was a bit shocked at first but quickly recovered and did that thing that all mums do by saying she'd known for weeks something was troubling me. She gets this from the tone of my voice in our frequent phone calls as I haven't seen her in person since Xmas!! My dad, who hates discussing money for fear of eavesdroppers, was brilliant and just listened and didn't pass judgement. They both wanted to see if they could help in any way and hopefully they can. My mum told my sister today so she rang me to say she knew and, whilst she can't help financially, she is there for me.

It is a huge relief not to hide it from them. We are a close knit family but sharing something like this is akin to admitting you've failed them. However you quickly realise that they don't think that at all.

Good luck to everyone

Dave

[scaredkez]

aggghhh bear i am so glad you have told them what a relief it must be for you, got a surprise then? waiting for the lecture?, i know that feeling thats how i felt and they were truly understanding, so happy for you, at least they know now what has been troubling you, they will be so supportive now making sure you have enough money to feed yourself, it gets worse lol no really pleased you bit the bullet and know you have the support behind you from those who really matter.
well done
kerri

Please view my blog at: http://scaredkez.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[worrywart]

Thank you scaredkez
I have read your blog, and although my family
have grown and left home, and our home is rented,
and my partner is registered disabled, I pictured
myself in your position, what a brave and focused
person you are.
Good luck to you and yours, and thank you for
your informative narrative.
I will draw strength from you and everyone else
who has been so supportive.#

thanks
PJ