Full and Final Settlement - Help!

[Soulgrowth]

You must be very proud of your sons Hara [:)]

Debbie

www.babynamings.co.uk

www.soulgrowth.co.uk

[hara]

Dear Soulgrowth,

They have disappointed me in many ways which I shall refrain from mentioning here.

I had to ask them for money,they should have volunteered to help.They are single and should not have much problem considering on of them has a Physics degree from Oxford and has a PHD from Imperial College London and another is in computer soft ware .

I looked after them alone from the age of 9,changing jos.

I strongly feel they have an obligation to help me.Have to wait and see.

Hara.

[Soulgrowth]

It's very difficult with children isn't it Hara. I have brought up my family of four children for many years on my own and much of the debt that I am now in, well all of it really, is a result of doing my best for my children and supporting them by buying a family business which, unfortunately, didn't work out. But I do look upon the situation that is was MY choice to do so and wouldn't expect anything back from them ... although I have had to recently make it very clear that they will get very little more from me now and that they have to stand on their own two feet.

I suppose the way that I look upon it is it is unconditional love ... you give to your children without EXPECTING anything in return.

BUT, one mistake that I think I have made in the past is to have dealt with it all without fully informing them of my situation ... an interesting twist this week is that having attended the "Frugal Friends" meeting on Monday where I was, embarrassingly, interviewed the recording of which is now, even more embarassingly, on the website ... my children have seen the recording this week ... and have subsequently seen me in a different light and didn't realise just how much I was dealing with on my own.

Debbie

www.babynamings.co.uk

www.soulgrowth.co.uk

[tracy.h]

Hi Debbie
I agree a lot of my debt is due to trying to give my children a good start in life,but as you say i gave it with unconditional love,and would not expect anything back in return.To see them both doing well is enough for me.
I wouldn't burden them with my problems,maybe a lot of it is because i'm ashamed ive ended up in this financail mess.
I know they wouldn't judge me as they are very careing grounded people and i'm proud of them both,i just think they would be as stressed out about it as i am,and i don't want to put that upon them they now have there own familys and commitments.
i'm just about to watch the video
.
Tracy

[kpw]

Hi
Sounds like you have a good case for a F+F Offer which your IP should put to your creditors stating your change of circumstances and the effect on your ability to maintain IVA contributions.
The variation meeting should contain two main resolutions
1 Creditors to accept your F+F offer
2 To delete the 24 month variation condition

Provided 75% in debt value of those who vote, vote in favour, then your offer will be accepted.

Variation creditors meetings are well known for the difficulty of getting creditors to vote at all. So even if you get one or two voting it will go through if they vote in favour. But it can work the other way to. So good luck.
Make sure you speak to your IP to get him/her to put your best possible case forward.