god help me i cant sleep

[losing our heads]

i dont know how you people do it the waiting alone is bad enough but the phone calls the letters the stress of trying to keep calm if nothing else for the childrens sake. .just problems with mortgage and fearing the worst will it be bankruptcy.
god knows my mind is doing over time and all the while trying to keep a smile on my face for work and keep my routine with the kids normal

[scaredkez]

the waiting is horrible and i really feel for you at the moment, we have all been there, when i went for my iva it started in july and didn't get my meeting until december, so fully understand what you are going through, its such a nightmare, i can't say it will get better as it seemed to get worse until they all knew that a meeting had been proposed then nothing, silly thing was i started to miss the telephone calls as wasn't use to the silence, i remeber the not eating, sleeping, being moody all the time with the kids and its not something i would wish on anyone, so my thougts are with you at this time, i went BR in april 2007 and was discharged in september and to be honest i am now starting to live again, i have no letters no calls demanding money and its bliss, so take care you will get through this time, ring your ip and see why it is taking so long, good luck.
kerri

[chris.g]

Hiya, all I can say is hang on in there, it's worth the wait, try not to worry too much.

[losing our heads]

thanks its nice to know someone else knows what hell is like we have heard very little only that we might not have enough equityin the house to do ive so ther doing there very best to try come up with a solution i know there working hard but at the moment i just cant see ant further than tomo all i keep thinking about is all the sleepless nights we have spent in the last two years just fixing roof and getting some kind of kitchen into the house and trying to keep the damp out the house and robbing peter to pay it all am i going to lose it all just be cos of this stupid mortgage which at the time was our only option to own our own home. every were i look just to get a 2 bedroom flat which to say the least is tiny about 5 miles away from my children school is nearly twice my mortgage payment its just so frustrating and scary again thanks kerri

[losing our heads]

just another little thing if we dohave to go bankrupt will it go in the papers not that i am fused as i would rather tell people my self how stupid i was with money and how for 9 years and remortgaes 2 houses to try get out of debt i have failed and to lose the house im in over it all. i would like it to be done in my own time rather than it be village gossip that no one knows the truth as to how we got this way are people that judgemental or is it me fearing thats what it will be like im not scared of what people might think i am scared this will affect my girls scared i might have to change schools again and move house again how unstable is that for them to go through does any one have young children that have been through this and had little affect on there schooling social skills .

[Viki.W]

Hey there,

I'm not an expert on bankruptcy, I'm sure one of the experienced forum members will be along soon to answer your question. I think, from reading a few recent posts that it goes in the London Gazette and one local paper, the government were thinking of changing this but I don't think anything has changed yet.

From what I have heard, it's a tiny entry and you'd have to actually be looking for it to even notice it.

It sounds like you've really tried over the years so please don't think you're a failure. You have taken the first steps to sort everything out so that is very brave. I'm sure you'll find the best solution and if you stay on the forum you'll get some valuable advise and lots of support. v.w

[lily]

Hi there

Firstly, I am a little concerned as to why you have waited 11 weeks and havent heard anything??? Is your case complicated or has it taken extra time to get the bits and peices together. Who are you using and have you checked them out???? (please tell me youre not with Synergi). I feel that 11 weeks and still no date for a meeting is very hard to cope with. I didnt realise that you needed equity in your house to enter an IVA, I cant see the point of that you could just remortgage if you did, surely?? I am in rented accomodation and not in an IVA but I did start the process..... Its usually just a conversation on the phone with an IP and they will tell you if you stand any chance of a viable proposal.

I felt as you do, when I first came here, I couldnt understand how people could just post questions and seem to deal with it when I couldnt even function as a human being, let alone as a mother and at work, so I know how you feel. Youre doing very well.

Forgive yourself for the debts, at the end of the day whats done is done, we dont always know our limits and it mounts up and bites you on the ass before you even realise you have a problem. And it seems to happen overnight, you think something will turn up, and keep going, wondering how the last weekend of the month is quite going to work. Then, kaboom, you sit down and work it all out and realise hmm, more going out than is coming in and your world crashes down with panic, shame, you know this already though.

It does get better, a failure goes down and doesnt get back up, you will and youre doing something about youre debts. Everyone has credit, all those people you work with, live by, ours got out of hand.

Hold your head up high and fingers to anyone who feels the need to judge you.

Bankruptcy is advertised in the London Gazzette and the local paper, not the freebies but a couple on here have never had one.

I would say, dont worry about what if's with the girls now, just concentrate on one thing at a time, if you start thinking too far ahead, you will panic and that will upset them more. My kids have had a tough time over the last two years, they coped a million times better when I coping. Their rock is you, houses, clothes, schools and other stuff are way down the list, youre the central pillar in their life. I know this cos my Dad went BR when I was a kid with his business and I didnt even know there was anything wrong, they handled it like an adventure and I was happy.

Anyway take care, come here anytime, theres always someone to talk to or who has been there.



All the very best, hope you get some peace and sleep soon.