Half Way Slump

[libertyfund]

It's amazing isnt it that we all at sometime in those quiet reflective moments believe ourselves to be failures, certain things trigger these thoughts off as in a lot of peoples cases its your kids asking for things, in my case it's not being able to share the joys of being able to take a well earned holiday each year and changing my car to a more AFFORDABLE and SENSIBLE one. We tend to look at our friends and work colleagues whom all seem to have the lives and spending power we would all love, but how many of them can actually afford it all? When I push my trolley down the isles in Lidl or Aldi, I look around and think are these people the same as me, in debt? Should i really be here? Then I think, hang on a minute, I am here and I am doing what I can, serving my time making certain sacrifices along the way. Nothing more. Had I not faced my problem I may not have been here putting food in my trolley at all. I do not ask anyone for money or help, i am doing this for myself and at the end of my five years, there i'll be, lying on a beach sipping on a cocktail, and you know what, I shall look back at this time in my life and be proud of what I did to achieve what I did to be there on that beach and look forward to many more, knowing that I have learned from my experience and learned that Lidl and Aldi are pretty b***** decent!!! Do not disgrace yourself for helping yourself.

[StupidAgain]

Well said Liberty, i too look at my work colleagues in envy when they are talking about all inclusive holidays, even buying new tvs or laptops, one recently spent £800 on a watch and thought nothing of it, but you are right are they really buying it or is the credit card, will they too one day be where we are now? Who knows, but i do know one thing i will cherish my week away a year in my dads caravan in Skegness and be thankful that I at least have that xxx

[Shining]

don't forget StupidAgain I live near Skeggy!

[Broke of London]

Can't wait to be sitting on a beach sipping a cocktail LOL! It'll be a while yet x

[libertyfund]

Yes it may be a little while off yet Broke but by god will it taste good when it comes! Yes stupid, i think the kind of friends colleagues you mention we all have them and i know one in particular, with a huge mortgage two kids the car and a family holiday aswell as a jolly with the lads for a week, and he once told me he had 12 credit cards. I guess some people are happy to pay minimums forever and spend half their lives doing balance transfers. Safe to say we here have all done that and i'm damn pleased im out of that way of life. So when i hear about the holidays and the cars etc mostly it will be another balance transfer waiting to happen.

[trixie]

I do feel very good inside that I have no credit cards and have been free of using them since the initiation of my IVA. I have now made 40 payments into my IVA plan!! 40!! yeah....only 32 more to go.
as for Lidl....yup I am there each week with my bags-for-life, getting the bargains & my £1.50 refund on the car park fee. And I agree...it's pretty decent food so even after my plan is up I will continue to shop there.

And StupidAgain....you know about child maintenance....my kids are in senior school now and their father hasn't paid a penny of maintenance. The CSA were not able to keep track of him long enough to get money from him so they gave up. As my chidren are now teenagers I wonder if it isn't just a bit too late for him to pay maintenance now especially as he has not wanted contact with them. So I have just let things lie.

[Jay H]

Trixie head up high i am just over half way my self hopefully and me and my partner have just been on about how bad we was 3 years ago...im sure once its all over you will be ok and look back and laugh

[trixie]

Oh we finish about the same time Jay. I don't know about laughing about all of this (!!!) but I will hopefully be okay . I have 32 payments to go....my next milestone is to get into the 20s....that is going to be great! I am just creating these little milestone successes in my head to help get me through it. And keep reading these posts .

Also I just want to point out from an earlier post I wrote that I could have gone down for a £100K....I would just like to stress that I didn't actually owe that amount (no where near) but I COULD have taken on that amount becuase of the way credit card lenders were offering their cards and loans to me. It was quite a weird time and I can see why the credit crunch happened.

[trixie]

I don't post often but just wanted to mark another milestone.....four years since my IVA officially started [:)]. Sadly, frustratingly, I have another two to go [V]. But I am relieved and proud at having gotten this far all on my own.

I admit to a little envy reading about those who have partners and family to support them. Especially those who are given money so they can arrange for early completions. I have dreamt of this quite a few times! No-one in my life knows the full story...you guys are the only ones who will understand. My family are unwilling to help. I don't have that many close friends anymore as my life is just my job and my kids. Just working to survive and get through this. Two years to go. Two years. I keep looking at emails I wrote two years ago and thinking...that wasn't so long ago. This too will pass. Wishing it away. Gone.

I contacted the CSA to go after the father of my children again for maintenance, but they have failed. I gave them his address (which was easy to find on google) but they insisted they prefer to chase by phone nowadays and said they can't find him on their tax records anyway. They are teenagers now and he hasn't paid a penny.

I made some pretty bad life decisions. I have paid a very great price.

24 months to go....hitting 20 will be exciting, that is my next target.

ps - does anyone know how to make the months that appear underneath your username state a 72 month IVA rather than a 60 month one? It's bittersweet because I would feel MUCH happier if I only had one year to go rather than two!!

[Foggy]

Hi Trixie. Well done on getting this far. Two years won't be that long. As you say, looking back two years at what happened then -- it wasn't that long ago! .... The Chilean Miners were trapped ... and rescued and that Icelandic volcano stopped aircraft flying, giving us empty airspace for a while .. not long ago at all.

[lem]

correction foggy, the icelandic volcano was 3 years ago!, but thanks for reminding me as that puts the 3 years I have left into perspective xx

[Foggy]

OK -- it was 2010 -- I was thinking I would get away with that as we are only in the infancy of 2013

[lem]

I remember it affecting my boss who was stuck in Russia and couldn't get back (much to my dismay NOT!) and this was in May 2010 before I left and went back into nursing, it's amazing when you look at things like this just how long ago it was, it just doesnt seem to go so quick when you are in an IVA. Although when we started I did think the 3rd year would e the slowest

[Foggy]

Things always seem faster looking back -- I guess it's like a car journey. When I was a kid, it took FOREVER to get anywhere -- but we always got back in a flash !

Time is a funny thing ... years ago we would think nothing of waiting an hour for dinner -- now 5 minutes in the microwave is a LIFETIME !

[Shining]

I found that I took each month as it came in the IVA and at the end crossed another month off my virtual calendar, I know for a fact I was far better off in an IVA than pre-IVA and it's taught me very valuable lessons in respect of money. Time will pass and when you reached your 20 months left you'll soon be in the teens and so forth.