Have finally decided to take the plunge

[cherry545]

Hi All - this is my first post here so here goes: Im 38 yo living with folks and have stupidly over the years ran up £24000 debt. Have been thinking of taking out an IVA for the last year but kept backing out. One of the reasons is if my folks knew all hell would be unleased. Ive rang a few of them to ask them to take of my home no and use my mobile instead. I take it there is no way to stop the calls. I have 5 credit cards and 2 personal loans and the thought of having 7 companies phoning my parents would send me/them over the edge. Nationwide once told my mum that I missed a payment and my account was in arrears so much for client confidentiality. I would dearly love to take the bull by the horns and sort this out for once and for all as the stress is taking its toll - but my life would be unbearable if folks found out. I cant believe i got myself into this mess...

[leaKybrain]

Hi Cherry, I too am new to all this and have been lurking about for most of the week. My hubby and I are in the process of sorting out our paperwork, bank and direct debits and then I will be making the call to set up the IVA. I've seen loads on here to help out and am sure that someone will be able to answer any of your questions.

[nepensioner]

Hi Cherry
Welcome to the forum. The hardest bit is picking up the phone to get free impartial advice as to your options. Nationwide definitely breached the data protection act and if any of the others do this would definitely take this further. Take courage and list your creditors and income and take advice, you will feel so much better when you know what your options are. This forum is a great place to get advice and support, so do let us know how you get on. Good luck

[kallis3]

Nationwide should not have done that and hopefully that would not happen again.

Please pick up the phone and speak to an Insolvency Practitioner. Visit www.iva.com for a list of companies and reviews. The advice is free and impartial.

[MelanieGiles]

Your parents do not have to know you are entering into an IVA - it is a private contract between you and your creditors and is your business alone. That said - a lot of forum posters have confirmed that they would be terrified to share their news with family members, and then are completely suprised at how supportive they can be througout the process.

If any of my kids needed to enter an IVA, I would be proud to see that they were taking responsibility for their debts and would want to help them through the process, not scold them for mistakes which could not be undone. Your folks may well be the same.

[kallis3]

I'd do that with my daughter - she knows we have money problems adI have tried to make sure that she doesn't make the same mistakes that we have.

Time will tell whether or not we have been succesful.

[plasticdaft]

The issue of parents/partners finding out is one which definately worries many forum members. That said the number of people who after worrying about telling family then post that parents etc have been super supportive,even to the point of helping out with F&F's would make me think twice about keeping it all to myself. 5 years is a long time to keep such a big secret.

Paul

[Shining]

My daughter fully understands an IVA she's only 16 (almost 17) but very mature for her years. She sits by me when I'm on the forum at night and I explain things to her. My other 3 have left home and so I don't see they need to know as it doesn't affect their life, it does however affect hers.

[MelanieGiles]

She wil be better off for it Lesley. My youngest, who has been doing some holiday work for me in the office this year whilst off school (she's a teacher, not a pupil) is positively tight with her money, and won't entertain having a credit cardm even though it is a great idea for emergency use. Then again the Bank of Dad in our house, is easier to negotiate with!

[kallis3]

That's one thing we don't have - the Bank of Dad is firmly closed. There's no way my daughter would sit with me while I'm on here - she thinks I'm sad anyway!

[Gettingthere]

Hi Cherry, mine is a similar position to yours, and I felt the
exact same way with letting my family know, turns out they knew
there was something seriously wrong with they way I had been action
and were really worried. I thought there would be recriminations
etc... need not to have worried, they have been fantastic about
it. Please do something about your debt as soon as possible, it is
not easy but eventually it does get better and you will feel a
whole lot sounder in mind for taking control. If you are worried
about the phonecalls (I was as well) make sure that your creditors
have your mobile number and ensure that they use that instead of
your home number (they can be sensitive when they want to be)
Take care