Hello Jules
This is my opinion and I am not an exper just another person in debt.
Firstly, I think you need to be honest with your other half, does she work or do you have any joint loans? An IVA may be the answer since you have assets (house) to loose in BR, however I dont have the full facts and if its a do upper, I doubt if you'll have do upable expenses in the five years an IVA might take. This and an IVA will need to be discussed with your other half, its her house too, right? Plus there is usually an equity release clause in year 4/5 I think. Furthermore whatever you decide will not be stress free and you may need her/his support.
Second, do not panic, there will be a better life than what you have now, you are not alone in that grey black world of worry, we have all been there, its not nice. However, beating yourself up about it is not going to help. whats done is done, time to admit it and move on.There will be a way forward.(Anyone that cannot make a mistake cannot do anything)
Your disposable income is what is left when you pay your secured loans (mortgage/ HP) bills (electric etc c/tas) and living expenses (food, road tax, petrol etc). If you can post details of this it might help one of the experts advise you further.
A DMP might take years to pay off and you are not protected from added interest or creditor harrassment.
Speak to a few debt/ IVA companies (avoid synergi) when you do this, do not be ashamed, the company will earn from it and you should feel comfortable talking with them. Just to get a feel for it, also make sure you are told about all of your options.
You are already on the road to a better life in just admitting the problem and trying to address it. I know its hard to face it all.
Finally, you are suffering from stress and its OK to go and see your GP, you are under a huge amount of pressure and it will affect your health, I have been signed off work due to it all. You could also contact MIND who offer a free councilling service, or if you feel really desperate contact samaritans.
You are not alone Jules, if you have further questions or just need to rant, cry or scream, we will be here for you.
I hope this helps, good luck and keep posting
LILY
Last edited by
freelili on Sun Feb 25, 2007 1:39 am, edited 1 time in total.