Help - in a panic!

[leaKybrain]

What a relief for you Pap, isn't Mel brill.

I really hope you get it sorted.

My DD is like your child Snoop, she quite often wants to pay for things herself and whilst I feel as guilty as hell that she buys her own ice creams at theatre, or sweets etc. I've decided I have to convince myself its for her benefit, because she is learning about the value of hte penny as it were.

She once had a massive tantrum because I wouldn't let her spend £60 to buy me the 'Magic Bullet' off tv shop channel. LOL. bless her, had to explain and show her round kitchen why I didn't really need it, and she still came up with smart answer of 'but mummy, will yours go in the microwave' cheeky monkey.

we have explained to her (shes that we have had money problems, we did tell her it was called IVA in the early stages, and that its a big secret from grand parents. No way my parents can know. Hubby's dad knows but he is more understanding and not as judgemental as mine.

It did worry me inthe early stages that Daughter might say something, but i think she's sort of forgotten that we have done this and what its called. I jsut have to occasionally say to her, we haven't got the money. This is when she generally asks if she can buy it.

[MelanieGiles]

I really wanted one of those Magic Bullets a few months ago, but when I ordered it it was out of stock and they have never come back to me with a replacement! Will have to get back on to it now!

[Rosepetal]

Hi Pap, so pleased you feel a bit better. i've found i peak and trough so much at the moment,it's a lot to deal with.keep posting it helps.

even if a uni has different rules re accommodation they do have funds set aside to help students who are really struggling with lack of funds. my son's friend was given several hundred pounds last year when he couldn't cover rent. it just meant filling a form in. no uni would want a student to fail after starting a course.

Melanie is a star! so glad you feel supported.

Things came to a head in our house,my husband told our son who's home from uni about our situation,he was very shocked & upset but he's much better now,he said he could feel the tension and was worried about us. it was the right time to tell him.

keep in touch with how you're getting on and do ring the uni.
big hug x

[kallis3]

I'm glad you felt able to tell your son, it does help when you can share your situation and are not trying to hide things all the time.

You will have hi points and low points - it's only natural but you have a good IP working for you and you can rest assured that she and her team will work tirelessly for you.

[leaKybrain]

LOL Mel, it was the fact it was all in one. We sat together watching the demo and loved it, but apart from the microwaveable cup bit, I've got gadgets that will do the rest.

Halogen oven was the next possible, but again we've got combi microwave and oven so why bother with it.

All these gadgets....too many to choose from.


Rose, glad you have one less worry now, at least your son will understand the reasons for 'sorry can't afford'

[Broke of London]

Rosepetal - it was such a brave decision to tell your son. He will need time to get his head round it in the same way we all do, but he must feel a lot better knowing what's going on. Now you can all work together to secur his accommodation next year.

[Rosepetal]

Hi kall,leaky & broke, my husband had got himself into a state and got very upset,my son got upset at seeing his dad in such a state,it was awful. but i really do feel it's better now it's in the open,i told him all about Melanie,showed him how i was budgeting now,told him everything at Christmas was paid for in cash etc.

our son is in his 3rd year,he has a year in industry and then has to go back to uni for the final part. i've told him he must keep his accommodation bond safe when it's returned to him to cover him for the bond during his second part of the course. he's very good at budgeting so that's a little off my mind.

yes Melanie is good. i'm hopeful she'll get us sorted but do feel anxious in case of problems. it is a terribly stressful time,i'm sure it must be shaving years off me/us! thanks for the support guys,you don't realise how much it's helped me. x

[Foggy]

erm ... what's a magic bullet ????

[kallis3]

It's a posh blender.

[leaKybrain]

LOL Jan, yes I guess you could say that. its another JML product. But its nothing that half the other blenders/grinders don't do.

[kallis3]

Didn't realise it was JML - I just googled it and looked on the Amazon website!

[karen]

Please consider telling your son. He is old enough now to understand and you may find it eases the pressure off you a little. I know its awful, we've all been there but honestly its not a secret you can keep easily. Dont be ashamed you have made the correct decision with your IVA and you are doing your best to pay back what you owe.
A lot of us understand depression and anxiety on here and there will always be someone to talk things through with you are not alone. Whatever you decide I wish you luck and I hope things turn out ok for you and your son.
Karen xx

[Pap]

Hi
Quick update. Rang the agents today and asked without giving names etc, what would happen if no guarantor could be found and they were 'no problem, we'll work round it' very casually so, although we aren't completely sorted yet, it does seem more positive. Asked if they would accept instead extra deposit and they were fine with that, not even looking for full year up front. So all that worry and it could be ok anyway.
Thanks for your support - will let you know the next exciting instalment of the disaster that is my life!
Px

[kallis3]

That's good news Pap. Hopefully you'll get it sorted now.

[leaKybrain]

oh pap, thats great stuff, glad you got some answers that have eased your mind.