Hi chris jgb says it all. If it was my sister I would find the sisterly thing to do for me would be to inform her all that's been said hereand let her make her owm decisions and mistakes. Family is more important than any money. I would also be there to pick up the pieces. Everyone is different do what is best for you and your future. Would it mean you loose your sister and how would you cope with that. Good luck for the future whatever you decide
I think I would draw the line at advising my sister. I couldn't report her for doing something wrong. You have acted according to your conscience and I can understand you'll be jealous if she gets away with it; but is that reason enough to report her? x
This is definitely a sensitive issue and one that really is for you to decide Helly - you must do what feels right for you as you can see from above there are conflicing views and they are neither wrong or right. There could be lomg term consequencesif your sister finds out you informed her and you need to decide if it is worth it, equally if you don't and you hold resentment towards her it could affect your relationship in other ways.
Well done on getting this far with your IVA and for honouring your commitment to it.
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font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica">quote:<hr height="1" noshade>Originally posted by Hellyp
hi thanks for your thoughts. She has been told of the consequences if she carries this on maybe i will just let her take it ,there lies another question, what is the sisterly thing to do ???
Michael peoples ..its cos we crap at managing money , silly question !!!
Bulldog , the only thing i have to be jealous about my sister is that she will maybe get to have the 9k that my dad left us each in his will and yes i dont think that is fair and im sure none of you would think it is either.
hi hellyp4
we are all crap at managing money this is why we here today,and we all learn our lesson from it (well i have).
what is the sisterly thing to do?? well to look after each other as family. as i said befor life is too short
the only other thing i can say if i may is to get your sister to come to this forum and look at the reply's mentioned and that could changed her mind.
but at the end of the day it's down to you what you do about this matter,but it going to be hard which way you go girl
One way to look at it would be how would you handle it if it was a stranger in an iva with an inheritance and not a family member.. Personally I fell out with my brother a few years ago and if he decided not to hand it over i would think its his decision and he will have to live with the consequences if found out..
I realised when going into my IVA that life is too short to worry about others and I just concentrate on looking after my wife and kids, they are the most important thing to me..
Very difficult.....but for me honesty is the best policy. The solicitor will do a check anyway and if like my inheritance I had to sign to say I was or wasn't in an IVA or bankrupt ....a verbal assurance was not sufficient.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
There is a solution for everyone .... Just need to stay positive !
I once caught out a client who had received a £100k windfall following the death of his mother which he did not disclose, and then had the cheek to offer a £12k F&F settlement allegedly from funds to be provided by his son. An anonymous member of his family blew the whistle, and creditors got paid in full.
Well I know someone in a very similar situation, in an IVA and inherited a big windfall, it's never been disclosed and it grieves me every time I see them in their new vehicle or their children are receiving handouts...but have I done anything? NO. I did post on the forum once and the general census was to leave alone, it will catch up with them to date it hasn't and I'm sure the money is fast going the way things are changing within their house.
IVA final payment left the bank on the 26th January 2013...looking forward to a debt free future.
