Hidden question

[thebear29uk]

Hi all and gosh

Just got home from work and read all this thread. I think some wires have been crossed somewhere as I dont think Bigpete intentionally set out to offend anybody in particular. Lily I think you may have taken it personally because it was tagged onto your post but I have read all the posts twice and seriously dont think it was directed at you.

I myself have often wondered why I'm called a forum expert. To be honest I thought all the stars after my name meant I could now serve the burgers as well as the fries. Lol.

Please lets all remember what this forum is about. Lily you post to offer support to others and your contribution is every bit as valid as Melanies or any of the other Professionals. You try to help others when you have your own worries and we thank you for that. Lets not have bitterness between members.

This forum is supposed to be a place where we can turn for positive vibes and just recently we seem to be getting angry with each other.

Off to watch Man Utd game. Peace to all

Dave

[Skippy]

Well said Dave. I'm not sure what's going on here, but like Dave says I don't think anything personal was meant by Bigpete's post, despite that I hate to think of Lily being upset.

As Dave says, peace to all, but can I add to that? Peace to all, as long as you're not a Lille player or supporter - come on Man Utd!!!

Onwards and upwards!!!
View my blog at: http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[scaredkez]

right everybody i feel this has been blown out of all proportion now.
i can understand how lily feels, come on everybody lets think what she has been through in the last few months, if it had been me this morning i would have felt like it was a personal attack, if bigpete has a problem with the regulars being called experts then i feel he should have started a new post and not used lilies post to air his feelings, it did come across that in his view due to her "mess" that she was not worthy to advise others as she was in just as deep a mess, i feel that is why lily has become so offended and lets think on little things while we are in a grieving process can spiral out of control.
how many other posters have been unhappy with the regulars being called experts, none we all give our time to be here to help others and none of have to do that yes we are grateful to the technical experts, as melanie and i have said before there is 2 sides to the fence and everybodies input is invaluable, a simple sorry may have sufficed this morning when he realised he had upset lily.
i am not having a go bigpete but it could have been asked a bit better than picking up on an experts question this morning, i know you understand and the expert thing has now been clarified but this could go on for ever and i don't want anybody to feel that they can;t post any more as someone may take offence, forget what is says under our names we are here for the same reason, and many of us will still be here helping others when others have finished their process of the iva, so lets get back to what we do best, comfort, helping and empathising with each other instead of bickering on who should be called what, i have had my rant now, lily if you are reading this i wish you luck i know how everything is magnified to you at this stressful time but come on lets see you back were we need you
kerri

Please view my blog at: http://scaredkez.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[Skippy]

I agree Kerri. Whatever we are called we are all in this together, and the last thing we need is bickering on the forum. For the first time since I got myself into my mess I have really let things get to me and I have been arguing with Dave. I come on here as we understand what we are all going through and we can all support each other. Lily and Kerri especially, your support has been invaluable to me and I would hate to lose that, and I hope that I can support you.

At the end of the day it doesn't matter what we are called, we are there to help each other.

Onwards and upwards!!!
View my blog at: http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[neverending]

Guys
This forum has been a little " hot round the collar" this week.

As Melanie has stated on previous posts she has all the technical answers,as does James etc etc,However there is nothing like first hand experiences to pass onto people and this is where the likes of Lily,scaredkez and skippy etc are totally invaluable.
I would have welcomed this forum and the advice given three years ago when I was starting my own IVA because I knew absolutety nothing about them at the time.
Common sense,experience AND technical answers are all needed when deciding on and arranging an IVA.
Keep posting Lily,you are a big part of this forum.
Regards

[freelili]

Thanks Kerri neverending

I admit I was very upset by the remarks and what I felt was sarcasm on the Melanie post,after I had tried to smooth things over. I felt it was trying to trash us with expert by our name. I am pleased to see that Kerri has seen this too.

I know this forum is not a place for bad feeling, but I feel this poster could have worded better. The poster has every right not to see me as not worthy of posting here, as an 'expert' it was the referral to my big mess that I found so upsetting, or rather the solution in my case. It is too much for me right now and I really dont need it.

LILY

I asked God for a solution and have to live with his reply.

[Skippy]

Lily, I don't think anything nasty was meant by the post, it was just badly worded. However, I would have been as upset as you are if it had been said about me. Perhaps the poster should remember that you don't have to have qualifications to be an expert:

Cambridge Dictionary:
Expert (noun) - a person with a high level of knowledge or skill; a specialist.
Expertise (noun) - a high level of knowledge or skill.

I think that by the time a person has realised their problem, gone through the IVA procedure, and then in some cases onto bankruptcy they are entitled to comment, whether it's to say what has happened to them, or just to give support.

Onwards and upwards!!!
View my blog at: http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[thebear29uk]

Hi All and especially to Lily

Lily I want to wrap you up in cotton wool and tuck you safely away until the nightmare you have endured is finally ended. I've followed your story since November and seen your good days and your very bad days. The last few days I think have been hard for you again. Lily you are so close now to ending this low part of your life. You are a shining beacon to the rest of us on here. You, Coco, Kerri, DebtDummy and Zoe in particular inspire me for dealing with your debts (mess - whatever we want to call it) whilst also raising your children or dealing with the gambling as Zoe has done. You know you are so close to resolving this now so stay strong. Its like the novice marathon runner facing that last mile. Just know that you will get your Mars bar at the end of it.

Neverending rightly says the forum has been a little hot around the collar this week. Maybe this is an indication that the forum is gaining momentum and more new people are posting. Maybe they dont understand how vunerable some of us "experts" are.

Tomorrow is a new day. Lets draw a line under today and start again tomorrow. After all isn't a fresh start what we all want to achieve?

Looking forward to Lily's continued posts

Dave

[bigpete]

I don't know what's going on but there was no sarcasm Lily. In my own case I owed 204,000 for a variety of reasons, I had a terrible time trying to manage prior to my trust deed, my marriage was nearly destroyed, I was sectioned for a period, bankruptcy was a certainty. I am also severely disabled (Army + Fire Service injury).. how the hell I came out of this I do not know.
BUT to be chastised like some child for a genuine query over what constitutes an expert is not on. I WAS in a 'big mess' I did not refer to YOUR mess as 'big'. OK I could have posted elsewhere but why? it was to all intents and purposes a fair question which was answered by Admin. I have been through HELL and came out the other side. Every single one on this forum (500?) is in the same 'mess' we all to various degrees will or have come through.
No hurt was intended. Let's (as Dave says) put a line under this.

[thebear29uk]

Hi Bigpete

You are welcome here. Lily is very good at cyber hugs and a very caring person. You also sound like you've had it tough mate. Like I said tomorrow is another day. So I'm extending the cyber olive branch to everybody. I'm sure Pete can help a lot of members north of the border with SDTs and also, like the rest of us, his life experiences of dealing with debt can help others.

I look forward to reading Lily and Bigpete's future posts.

Dave now draws an imaginary line underneath this whole post. No further posts permitted or you will have bad luck (ha! nothing new there then!). Seriously though. A new day. A new dawn etc.

[freelili]

I posted this morning asking for help, stating that I was struggling; your post came through while I was communicating this. You were saying that we shouldn’t be called experts as we are in just as deep a mess as the rest of us/you. It seemed that you were pointing out my ‘mess’ and should I be called an ‘expert’ because of this. I am not responsible to the expert thing though Quote

Melanie, yep, too true got in just in time! VERY impressed with the amount of time you devote to this site, it's obvious that you are a font of knowlege and give these folks a LOT of support.We went through Thomas Charles (I highly recommend them) before being passed to an IP North of the border.. Again Melanie great to read your posts (and that's not because I did 15 years in the RE's!)

The above post ( no disrespect to Melanie) seemed to me to be a dig at the ‘so called’ experts and it made me hurt and angry, because I have really tried to help people who are feeling low, I have nothing to gain from doing this. If I was wrong about this I am sorry, it’s not usually my nature to be stroppy, or angry. I am truly sorry for the appalling bad luck and Trauma you have personally suffered. If I have been over-sensitive then, although its not an excuse, its because I am having the worst time in my life.

Can we draw a line under this now?


LILY

I asked God for a solution and have to live with his reply.

[thebear29uk]

Night night Lily

Look forward to reading your posts tomorrow.

Dave. XX