Hi girls
Dee this is all a bit much, you cant hold that together for much longer and something is going to give girl and my fear is that it will be you. I think debt stress is much harder on a man, their thinking is different to ours, we are more lateral thinkers and they are tunnel thinkers. He cant see anyting beyond the BR right now and how ever many times you try to reasure him he aint gonna see it as you do. I dont know your circumstances as to why your brother is staying with you, so I dont know if its long term or a short term arrangement. I think it might be an idea to have a meeting, thrash it all out, let everyone put their cards on the table and clear the air, decide how and each are going to compromise cos its obvious the house aint big enough for all. We are all instinctively teritorial so there is bound to be some friction with your hubby and brother, with that said, they both love you and wouldnt want you to suffer for them, but you are. So how about it, a chat, a meeting???? Tell me to clear off if you like, I dont mind, just looking at it from an outsiders point of view.
Octavia, I really feel for you, youre at the mercy of his 'not knowing what he wants' I have been there, I was in a long term relationship with a special needs teacher. Everything was going well, I thought, til one day we decided he didnt want the ready made family, he just wasnt used to special needs 24/7 and moved out but we were still together.
It went on for two years and I cried almost everyday until I thought, sod this, I am not being fair to my kids or me. I told him to clear off for good, he was shocked, I told him he was being selfish, he kept saying yes I want it all and then well I dont know. It was soul destroying as I was up and down with him but once I was over it, which did take time, I was soooo much better off. I wasnt going to put him before my children. I hope you can resolve the issues soon but dont hang around for too long.
Good luck.
