Ox you don`t annoy anyone. This Forum is built with people like you and I who have been there, and it is here to help. Without the input of us the Forum would have no point.
Tomorrow will be a great step forward and you`ll feel better for it.
Can I just say that if anyone is doubting the integrity of this poster, that I can confirm that Tina from my office held a long and detailed chat with him yesterday and that all of his thoughts, fears and how these are manifesting in him physically right now are completely genuine.
I will give him every assistance I can, but right now I would appreciate that anyone who may be questioning his presence does so in silence. This chap needs help, and does not need the content of his posts questioned.
Hi Ox.
We all have different circumstances and people react different to debt problems. I do understand your worries, but the best thing you can do is to take action now to get your debts sorted asap. Call Tina or Melanie again, they are absolutely wonderful and if an IVA is the best for you they will advise accordingly.
Be careful about DMP, I was on one for 4 years and was the most stupid thing I ever done ( after getting myself in debt) but it probably works for other people with more income than mine and a smaller amount of debt. I did not have the right advise when I started my DMP and because I was in a bad psychological state at the time,worried about anything and everything I made the wrong decision.
And then ... I found this forum and Melanie Giles.
People circumstances change and its no good to worry too much of what can happen next year or in two years time because you cant take anything for granted in life. I have just started my IVA in January and it was such a relief to have found a realistic solution for our debts. Unfortunately last friday my husband was made redundant with no redundancy package and my first worry was our IVA and how we are going to mantain it. I phoned Melanie`s office and the support was unbelievable, I actually cried when I read the email that Natalie(one of her staff) sent me. So, really the most important thing is to make a decision and to work with the rigth people to help you.
Ox, phone Melanie again.
Although our situations are different, this could have been me posting when my head was all over the place but instead of having the forum (as I did't find it until I had found my solution) I just lay on the settee with my back to the room trying to make sense of all my fears and negative thoughts, I thought there would be no end to how I felt but I really do feel like a different person now. Reading the thread makes me want to scream but just because I know you need to get to the help that is waiting for you. Good luck and I hope you get sorted soon xx
I know I am a good person, I just need to start believing it
Mel it is great you have picked this guy as i can genuinely feel his distress. Depression is an awful illness and destroys good people. He has done well admitting to the condition and is seeking help and we all know that if anyone can help him sort out finances its you. Ox to meet Mel and talk through everything is a marvellous opportunity and i hope you take it up. Dont feel pressured into going down any debt management route. The early part of deciding who to go with and the initial changeover was stressful but the relief now its in place is unbelievable. You have found an amazing group of people who dont judge or criticise. This will be your lifeline. Your family are the most important thing and you can get through this. I would avoid the other forum if they are only making you feel worse.
As i lay here on the sofa with my 6m old curled up on me asleep , I pray tonight that all will be ok in some shape or form. I want my children to thrive and learn by our mistakes but not suffer due to our mistakes I love them dearly and they are my world
GOD BLESS YOU ALL SLEEP TIGHT (if I can sleep plus got a 9am meeting tmw)
Hi ox1987, I have texted you separately but not sure whether you will have seen your phone this evening. We are all here to help and support you whatever decision you make. Mel is a very committed IP as you have seen from her offer to travel to you and she will look after you as I have explained. We need to help you make the right decision for you and your family and with what you have explained to me already you have the means to be able to address your debts formally and without risk to your home or career. Whatever happens, your family are safe.
You could not have come to a more supportive and knowledgeable forum, in my opinion, and I am glad you have made contact with us for help. Debt is a solvable problem and when it starts having such an impact on your personal life, as many on here have experienced, it needs to be addressed ASAP.
Melanie has your contact details ready for chatting with you tomorrow but you have my details if you need me.
Between us we'll get you to a better place.
Regards, Tina Shortland, Debt Advisory Manager for Melanie Giles at Debt Advice TV.
If you’re looking for effective debt related information, articles and news, then go now to our on-line advice service at www.debtadvicetv.com
If you’re ready to ask us for specific advice or help, then get in touch at www.call-me.debtadvicetv.com so you can start to free yourself from the stress and anxiety of overwhelming debt.
There you go Ox! I have got goosebumps from reading such lovely words from Tina. You are no longer alone in this time of need. You are a decent guy and obviously love and care deeply for your family. Let us know how things go tomorrow! Give your little one a big hug and get a good sleep! Tomorrow could be the start of your journey to being debt free!
I hope so things have been very tough, just was on Facebook and saw lots of photos of my sons old karate team winning medals at a tournament today, last year we were there with them. I had to pull him out of karate class as we could not afford it he was doing well and was only a few belts from black. Breaks my heart was not that expensive 39 a month for unlimited classes so if he went three times a week it was only about 4 but needs must i used to do it with him it was our activity together but now thats gone . Made me cry again i look and think there are people on lower income than me going week in week out and I blame myself for the mess we are in and that he has had to lose out on that. I still make sure he goes to cubs sometimes it feels wrong that i am on a semi decent salary and we are struggling to buy a pair of school shoes. Where have we gone wrong
Last edited by Ox1987 on Sun Apr 14, 2013 10:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
You are in safe hands with Mel and her team - she wasn't my IP but she gave me a lot of good advice when I had to go BR. I now class her as a friend.
Regarding your children, please don't feel you left it too late. My Mum was 44 and my dad was 46 when I was born and I couldn't have had better parents. And believe me, children are resilient. My Dad was disabled and Mum was his carer so we didn't have a lot of money but I've turned out ok (well I like to think I have!) and I had a happy childhood.
There will be a solution for you and Mel and her team will help you find it.
Have just read all 9 pages of this thread and am moved, for once, to write a long reply, my typing skills are not of a high level and I'm anal about spelling. Please take the medication Ox, you will feel so much more in control. We have all felt as you do now but there is light at the end of the tunnel. 6 years ago I was a headteacher with a teaching commitment of 3 days a week. Out of a staff of six one was on long term sick leave, four managed to produce 5 babies in two years so consequently I was the omly full time permanent teacher for those two years. Then the dreaded inspectors paid a visit! Throughout this time my father died and both my mother and sister had cancer and we had debt problems. Result - total breakdown. I was off work for 10 months consequently went down to half pay but the iva company were very supportive and helpful. So my experience would tell you to take the tablets and the advice. Six years on our iva has finished, still waiting for cc. I have two kids who appreciate the value of money and were incredibly understanding throughout the iva. It was hard, very hard at times but the stress of an iva is far less than the stress of debt. Good luck to you. ( my typing finger is really tired now!)
