I fear our children will be taken from us. Life does not seem worth it anymore.

[abbiesmum2003]

speak to mel today Ox and get it all scribbled down. Tina sounds certain you have a realistic budget for a family so work through some figures. As Skippy said until you get expert advice its very difficult to see how this can work for you.

[Ox1987]

Had a call with SC today bit confused and stressed but ill wait until Mel calls

They went through all options including BR and said that if I did not have work and as Magella is a housewife with no income, We could not go bankrupt
So if I had no income I would lose house and then have a big shortfall joint. Then add the unsecured..the best We could get would be benefits to start with and then try to survive with kids on that. But if outgoing are not covered then we cant go bankrupt and as Magella as no income she can never go bankrupt. Does this mean you are saddled with debt forever trying to pay tokens and will I go to Jail if I did not pay CT and TV licence. What would happen to the children.
This must have happened before surely.....i feel I am going to have to give the DMP a go as my options are bleak. I am so unstable at the moment it is not true even in BR there might not be a way out...there must only be one way out

[Foggy]

I could well be wrong here, Ox, as I am shooting from the hip -- but what SC have told you is pure fiction (self edited!).

Once again you are overlooking the lifebelt and trying to swim for an unseen shore. Stop pondering the unponderable and wait until you have spoken to Mel. And take your GP's advice as none of the doom and gloom will go away until you do that.

[Shell.76]

please wait till you have spoken to mel today, hopefully things might be a ittle clearer for you!!! [:)]

[abbiesmum2003]

Dont make any decision until spoken to mel. I hope she puts you at ease. Why are you only talkibg about BR or DMP? why dont you think an iva would work? Like a dmp but more secure which would be better for you long term.

[josu]

I agree with abbiesmum, im confused why you seem so worried about an IVA and would consider living on benefits in a council house, its crazy. You do not need to do this, you can keep life exactly the same for your children, stay in your home, probably keep your car (or maybe a more modest one depending on what it is) Mel will help you work out your budget and im sorry to sound harsh but if you tied up all your debts into an affordable monthly payment there is no way you should not be able to manage. In my dreams my husband earns as much as you do!! I hope that doesnt sound mean but its a good wage Ox you can do it, its just about leanring to budget. A DMP would drive you insane and i think BR would make you very depressed. I honestly believe an IVA is the way forward for you. It wont end your career!

[Shining]

Hi Ox, I've been away for a week (almost) and just caught up with this. I've read this thread from 1st post to latest update and all the advice of speaking with Mel direct would have been my advice too.

I've just received (last Tuesday) my completion certificate from my IVA and this was administered by Melanie Giles and her team.

Mel will give you sound, realistic advice. You certainly sound like you're struggling at the minute but do remember we're all here to support and give advice to one another. I'm no expert just someone come out of an IVA but always lend an ear so anytime, we're here for you.

Hope you get to speak to Mel and we'll look out for an update.

[Ox1987]

I am worried about an IVA due to my work I am an accountant and will I be allowed to do one. Plus also if I dont get extended on this one will it affect my job prospects in new jobs, otherwise I would be seriously considering it as the DMP seems a long one though it would stabilise things for now

All i fear is our kids being taken from us in a BR scenario

[Shining]

Ox I feel your fears, I sincerely do. Have you managed a chat with Melanie yet? I know she put my mind at rest.

I don't know too much about your job but can understand your fears. Working within childcare for many years as a residential social worker, bankruptcy alone would not equate to having children removed from a family. I recognise it's easy for me to say but try not to worry, take each step at a time, there is a solution for you but sometimes we need to take that little bit of time to find the right one.

[lem]

Hi Ox, I wrote a rather long post on here yesterday but then couldn't post it grrr! So I'll try again.

Basically as I understand it, I do feel reading between the lines that even without the debt you have concerns about keeping in such high paying work to ensure you can keep your standard of living (as well do at times), I guess at the end of the day you only have a few options and no amount of discussing is going to change that. Your options are to go on a DMP which I feel you are going to continue to be stressed and worried about the debt hanging over your head for years and will continue to put pressure on you to maintain a high paying job. Or deal with the debt with either an IVA or bankruptcy, both of which MAY affect your chances of obtaining another contract in your current profession at the level you need currently.

Sometimes, we use a situation like this as a turning point in our lives, one thing you're missing is that when you have a high flying career, that's great on one hand, but also means its very hard to step off the rat race and it can end up trapping you, which is how you are feeling now.

Life will not end if you cannot get another role at the level you currently feel you need, you will not lose your children and become homeless if you go bankrupt. Most people who go through massive lifestyle changes due to debt/job loss, bankruptcy repossessions etc usually find a few years down the line it was the best thing they ever did as one thing getting rid of debt gives you is your freedom back, freedom to move house, relocate, change your career path etc etc. Do you really want to look back when your kids are grown up and regret all this worry and anxiety over debt as you're missing out on their lives and happy times so much? Is it all really and truly worth it?

You need to deal with the debt first and foremost, if that ends up meaning you can't get another role in your current career then, excuse me but so what?, use it as an opportunity to do something else, try something new, yes that may mean moving out to a new home and some drastic lifestyle changes but life is full of bumps and bends in the road and sometimes we have to just take that chance.

My brother a few years ago had a £500k house in Oxford, was earning a lot of money but heavily in debt, he lost his job, his house was repossessed and he had to uproot his family and move back near us in yorkshire and into rented accommodation, I will never forget the sheer terror and distress my sister in law was in in the street when the bailiffs turned up to take their car, it was horrific, but you know what?, here they are 6 years down the road, debt free, about to buy a house again, he has a great job again and they have a fantastic life and no regrets.

If you want the debt to go, you are going to have to take stock, stop worrying about what may or may to happen and deal with the here and now and let everything else take care of itself, good luck with whatever you decide

[mole]

Hi Ox, I have read this thread with interest but not yet commented. I came to this forum over 4 years with the exact same concerns, job, house and family to protect. I had never missed a bill or payment in my life and knew nothing about insolvency or debt solution options.

Looking back, That lack of knowledge was what was scary and now I understand there is a solution for everyone including you. However, none of these solutions are easy and it seems like you are looking for a quick fix and then walking away. I think you need to accept this and there will be some consequences. I think a F&F IVA settlement of your £10k is unlikely to be accepted as you already have another 12 month contract and so creditors will likely want some of this income as well.

Without seeing your full income and Expenditure it is difficult to advise but if you can pay off £10k from your £35k debt, you are left with just £25k debt. That really isn't that much for someone who can earn £70k salary.

For that level of debt, I won't even take out a formal DMP with a 3rd party. I would negotiate a payment plan with each creditor directly, trying to freeze interest. This way you will not be subject to any restriction on your work. Also, you mentioned a potential £18k of monies tied up in another business account. Should this become available you can use to pay of the rest of the debt.

A formal credit agreement (IVA or BR) will take 3-6 years, so you need to get out of your head a 'quick fix' solution. I think once you accept this and understand you are looking for a 'manageable solution' you will get a better frame of mind.

Ignore stepchange and speak to one or two IPs on here. Their advice will lead you to the right solution.

Good luck.

[Ox1987]

I dont want a quick fix but agree with Lem but where would we live and where would our income come from intially

[recovering]

Ox I think your head is spinning and all our advice, comments are not sinking in...I was the same, I think someone professional is the best person to advise they are far more clued up on how your circumstances will fit to which solution, you can carry on winding yourself up flitting from forum to forum but you aren't getting things any clearer in your head take a few breaths and try to calm down then perhaps Mel will be able explain things to you. nothing is going to happen to you or your family/home today or before you have spoken to Mel

[lem]

I can't answer that for you Ox as I don't know where you currently live, but I do know that many people who are repossessed, or lose their home either by giving it voluntarily move into rented accommodation, as a nation we a still very much of the opinion that renting a home as opposed to buying is second class, but in the US, and in europe most people rent their properties and view owning as a bit strange, certainly when I look at what I could rent for what I currently pay out on my mortgage I could have a house twice the size of what I have now. Anyway I'm going off track...

As regards work, or lack of, we do have a welfare state you know and for all it's faults it is there to support people in hard times and when they need to get back on their feet, besides you would have a year to work out what the chances would be of getting another contract and if not securing alternative employment.

I guess the bottom line is no one can answer where you would live or what work you would do as you are not at that point right now, it may not happen anyway and it's something you would have to address at the time you needed to, you can't worry about what the future holds, you really just have to deal with the here and now.

Also I just wanted to add that I disagree that a 10k f &f offer would be rejected by your creditors as mole states, I would be guided by what the professionals have told you and if they feel that would be a good offer in your circumstances then go by their advice should you wish to take that option

[Ox1987]

I would take that option if i knew I could continue working but that is what I am not sure of.