I feel sick - help

[elizabethr]

No he not terribly cheerful - he just sees a re-occurrance of a few years ago when he got really depressed and thought he was useless. I have told him that in the long run, as long as he can cope with the issue of being at home, we would be better off. I have a very very demanding job and am away a lot and he can be house husband. We have an income replace that kicks in after 3 months so it would be a problem for the first 3 months as he would only be on incapacity but after that we would break even. The problem is that the condition takes over everything. I am having counselling from work which is a support and have a wide network of friends so am just trying to juggle everything at the moment. I think this pay rise this year is about 1200 gross I think - may be dreadfully mistake because have worked that out from the salary pay scales and I may be way out. Next year its only about 200 - we did a 3 year pay deal.

[MelanieGiles]

You really must put Philip's and your health as a number one priority, Elizabeth and you cannot continue to work at the rate of knots and be a full-time carer and provider.

I have a house husband, and can fully recommend it. He is a great chef, our clothes are washed and ironed beautifully, and I have a garden to be envied. More importantly I have a happy hubby, and a terrific support mechanism which enables me to work that hours that I do.

Although my husband (touch wood) enjoys very good health, I am sure that Philip would adapt and find a lot of things to fill his day, and you would be less stressed if you were not worrying about him constantly. Does he have any hobbies?

[Dee]

Thinking of you X

[Viki.W]

Yes, I'm thinking of you too Elizabeth, I don't really know what else to say. X

[cfnc]

Thinking of you Elizabeth,

Hope you had a better night after Melanie telling you not to worry.

Kirsty

[elizabethr]

Slept quite well. Got quite a bit to today this morning as going away this afternoon - 12 year old gone off in a mood because I am going away - they certainly know how to pull the guilt trip!!! Philip could have some hobbies but he is always too tired with working. We have the dogs to make sure we get out for walks but if Philip is tired then I take them on my own. If he didn't work(which it might come to that) then he could do all those things Melanie but the trouble will be him adapting - he couldn't cope last time although he says he knows better now. You are right it would take a lot of pressure of me if he was at home. The only problem we will have is that for the first three months he would only have incapacity so we will be about 1200 down and it would take another couple of months for the insurance company to pay out - last time it took 3 years. I am trying to take the view that what will happen will happen for the best and it will get sorted - thats the philosophy I try and use. There's always a positive in a negative and things happen for the right reason. Won't be back on line until Tuesday. (will check posts later before I go)Bye Bye

[chardonnay]

Hi Elizabeth,
just wanted you to know I'm also thinking of you and sending positive vibes to help you through this stressful time.
Have a good time while you're away,
Am also sending you a big virtual hug,
Take care,Chardonnay

[Skippy]

Sorry to hear you're having such a bad time Elizabeth. I wouldn't even waste the price of a stamp on the letter to the solicitors, just send it to Melanie and let her deal with it.

From what you've said it does sound as though if your hubby became a house husband it would benefit you both. For both of you your health is the main thing and I'm sure Melanie will be able to help you with a solution regarding the money side of things and the IVA.

Good luck to both of you, and big hugs x