I feel so guilty

[Tifosi1]

Hello

I am in the process of setting up a DMP and in the interim am not making any further payments to my creditors. (i have nothing to give them anyway)

M+S called me today asking for a payment by debit or credit card, but i explained i couldnt and was instructing a Debt management company - fair play to the lady she put a note on the system without being rude or pushy (thats a first in my experience) and even advised me that if i am paying for a debt management service i should look into instructing CCCS as their service is free.

I feel so bad not being able to meet my payments its such a strange feeling cancelling the direct debits and not paying. I know i have to go through this process to stop incuring bank charges and ensure i dont go over my O/D limit - plus by having a DMP at least i am being proactive about sorting myself out. But it all feels so strange and unknown territory i dont know what is going to happen

Now i am also confused about what i should do with instructing a debt management company. The one i am speaking to, BrightOak, will charge which is fair enough and they have a top reputation and have been really helpful - but if i chose a free service my creditors would get more each month. AAHHHH!!!! So complicated i just want to do the right thing

[kallis3]

Tifosi, it is confusing knowing what to do and who to go with.

The feelings you are having are the same as all of us on here have either experienced, or are experiencing. You are not alone.

When I first started, I used a company for DMP who charged and I was happy with them for a while. I also thought about the extra money which could go to my creditors, so I phoned Payplan, who don't charge.

They actually suggested that we did an IVA, which was accepted, but if it hadn't been, I would have changed to them so that I was able to pay more money back.

If you are happy with Brightoak though, you could at least go with them and see how you get on. You can change DMP companies if you are not happy

[Lisa2009]

I think the guilt you are feeling is a natural reaction. Dont worry at least you are doing something to pay the debts back.
Personally i would have great trust in Brightoak and Andrew. He dealt with our remortgage and put up with my endless telephone calls.
Having met him personally i found him to be nothing but proffessional.

[loubylou10]

Hi,

I am in the same situation as you and feel exactly the same. I have always paid on time but the minimum ammount. My question earlier today was how do I put them off as I am not yet in the plan (01st Aug) but Brightoak who I am completing my DMP with came on this site (Andrew) and he reassured me. I do understand that companies like cccs are free but I would always go with quality and from others on this site he and Brightoak come highly recommended. Go with your instincs and like some have said if your not happy you can change.
Good luck to you. x

[Tifosi1]

Thanks guys

I was very impressed after speaking with Andrew the other day and felt much more confident after speaking to him. I will definately move forward with him, i just thought i was going down the right path and then doubted myself after the call i got today

[MelanieGiles]

You clearly have two choices here - an organisation that is entirely funded by your creditors or an organisation that is entirely funded by its clients. Why not try both of them to see what different advice you get, and how they advise you with regard to allowable expenditure.

[Soulgrowth]

Personally, and I am not sure whether this would be regarded as the right attitude, but with something as important as sorting out your financial situation for the future I would prefer a proportion of funds available to go to a professional who was acting on my behalf ensuring that the job was done correctly.

Debbie

[loubylou10]

perfect answer Soul.

[Tifosi1]

Thank you Melanie, Soulgrowth and all for your advice.

[moretolife]

i can identify with the GUILT......and add to that the SHAME....but now that i know i am paying back as much as i can afford i am coming to terms with both these feelings and i have to say this forum has been a great part of that....we havent told many people ...not even family...only two close friends know so when we really are struggling it is hard not to let the old feelings take control again...posting on the forum has been an outlet for me ..

thanks to all who post here...