I think that it is better to address the debts niw when your children are young so that you are debt free when it comes to their teenage years wh ;ack of finance seems to impact more ...not being able to pay for driving lessons , worries about costs of uni , costs of things like prom nights etc ...
You will have rebuilt your finances by then which is the best thing you can do for your family . Good luck with it all !
For me I just fear the unknown and also the what ifs I am for the first time in a while enjoying a job and making an impression even though its a 12 month contract and I dont want it to go wrong I cant go BR and have cleared the IVA with them and CIMA
These are the worries that get me and that would impact on the bairns
Going to have a bottle of beer with BGT to calm me down lets see
My daughter was 14 when I entered an IVA, I never felt I let her down in fact it's done her the world of good. She knows what an IVA is she knows why we were in an IVA and she knows about the Insolvency register etc. She's just finishing her first year at uni, has no overdraft and has budgeted really well. Works 12 hours a week in Sainsbury Local and supports herself whilst taking minimum student finance. She thanks me for this and knows the value of money for definite. Of my 4 children she's the only one who knows about the IVA as the others are married with children of their own.
Don't feel you've ruined anyones life, what your doing is making a better future for them.
IVA final payment left the bank on the 26th January 2013...looking forward to a debt free future.
my 9 year old knows we no longer have CC so she will get told cant have stuff more now or will have to save( or ask grandma!!) She knows we owed bank money and are working hard to pay it back. Im hoping it will be a good lesson for her too and will make us all better people and stronger family. Im glad we are doing it now before driving lessons etc start! My little baby will start school when this is over and I dont feel she will miss out/suffer at all. My concern is middle one whos not had opportunity to do clubs and is about to start school so wants trips because the eldest does.
We entered our IVA when my little girl was 2 years old and whilst I can't indulge her every material whim I can say that in many ways she has benefited...
She no longer has parents who are terrified of how to pay for that weeks shopping. She no longer has parents arguing about the bills, she no longer has parents who can't see a way out of the debt....
....and whilst this Bank Hol many of my friends with kids will be out all day long spending huge amounts of money on activities and rushing around trying to fill the time whilst getting stressed... I will spend uninterrupted time with beautiful daughter in the garden ... playing games, talking, sitting together, and just being. Time is something you can't buy after all...
...so slow down, take a deep breath, and remember that by sorting your debts out you are actually ensuring your childrens future is rosy as can be. They will grow up with parents who spent time with them, not just money ... that is priceless x
"Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn't permanent." - Jean Kerr
IVA approved Aug 2008 - 6 year term - last payment made 6 Oct 2014. CC received 14 Nov 2014.
My daughter and I have just come back from watching our football team stave off relegation, we've had a brilliant day.
When we entered the IVA I really thought we'd have to give up going to football together as its a luxury. We havent, simply because we are able to budget for it, we know we can afford to go when we do go and we have a great time. We have cut down a bit on the things we spend when we go but we don't miss them.
It really is surprising what you ARE able to do once you get into the budgeting habit...keep your chin up and stop worrying, its not good for your cholestorol!
Thanks guys I appreciate it and its good to talk to fellow parents in same situation
Its amazing ever since this started I have not be able get the thoughs out my head of becoming jobless, homeless, bankrupt and then lose the kids its been a recurring nightmare for weeks and wakes me at 4 every morning
I know hoping that these are nonsense and as per your messages I can get through this and keep our home and my job and put it behind me.....
Ox as many posters have pointed out, we all were where you are now and it passes. My youngest son put off going to university until the iva was finished, it hasn't ruined his life in fact after his A Levels he went to our local college and has really enjoyed these last two years and I've had him home for longer which has been wonderful for me. He's off to uni in the autumn and having lived in an iva for the last 6 years I know he will cope well with finance when he's out in the 'Big wide world'.
Thanks guys I appreciate it and its good to talk to fellow parents in same situation
Its amazing ever since this started I have not be able get the thoughs out my head of becoming jobless, homeless, bankrupt and then lose the kids its been a recurring nightmare for weeks and wakes me at 4 every morning
I know hoping that these are nonsense and as per your messages I can get through this and keep our home and my job and put it behind me.....
