Hi booboo
As everyone has already said please stop being so hard on yourself, one of the hardest things is admitting you have a problem and dealing with it so well done for doing that.
It is so scary when you add up figures, when I first realised I was in trouble was when I lost my part time job and I knew without that income I had no way of keeping up minimum payments on my credit cards and loans. But if I am honest I had been using credit to pay for credit for years and things would have eventually come to crisis point anyway. When I phoned a company from the internet to see what help was out there they asked how much I was in debt, I said about £21K. How wrong I was, when I sat down and added every penny up it was £46K [:0].
Whatever your debt there is a solution out there for you, and this forum has been my lifeline and kept me sane and you always feel amongst friends.
I entered into an iva in November and am so grateful for the chance to be debt free in 60 months, it is such a relief to see the end in sight. Its very early days for me as only 3 payments in but so far it has been all positive. I am managing to budget very well, although my first few weeks without credit cards was terrifying and I was always at the cashpoint checking my balance before I spent any money.
I would advise you to take advice straight away, its not going to go away if left...
As Wen suggested you could do no better than taking advice from Melanie as I found her team to be second to none.
Reviews of iva companies are also on
www.iva.com.
Sorry for the long and rambling post, but just wanted to let you know there is help out there and always a solution.
Good luck and keep posting
Emma x
Be positive & look after yourself, there are more important things in life than debts....
Best Wishes
Emma x