insolvencies 2008

[kallis3]

Cat, I know just how you feel. I was hiding a lot of stuff from my hubbie, and when it did come to a head (on my birthday), it made him really ill, and he was not happy that I had kept it from him. I did so because I knew what he would be like.

In hindsight, I should have just bitten the bullet then and admitted my problems sooner.

[michael.t47]

thanks cat, this forum is a godsend there are many people like us an too ashamed to admit it. but yes after i read 1 in 4 then i thouht i must also know many people in same situation

[michael.t47]

did anybody get to the stage where hey could not be bothered with housework/gardening etc and not opening letters staight away

[chris.g]

Oh yesssssssss..........
It does get better Michael, it does just take time. As you have made the hardest step by facing upto the problem and contacting Melanie things will soon start to get less stressful.
It's so hard when you don't have anyone to talk to about everything but that's where here comes into it's own. Everyone knows the heartache, stress and embarrassment caused by money and debt. We can all empathise and sympathise with others here and we can all give support to each other. There's always someone on to pick you up or offer good, sound advice.
Stay strong Michael, there's only one way to head when your at the bottom......UP!
xxxx

[aguise]

Michael I had a drawer that letters would just get thrown in unopened because I knew that I would only manage the minimum payment and couldnt face opening. It had to be necessary to open them or I would just leave them there.
As for the housework bit oh yes as well I am just reducing my anti depressants now that life is getting back to being less stressful. I think a lot of us have been tjher got the picture and the teeshirt so take strenghth in the knowledge that you are not alone with these feelings and that they will pass.
I hope the job situation sorts soon and you can move forward.
Ang

[Soulgrowth]

Just wanted add my best wishes to all the rest Michael ... there WILL be a solution ... and it WILL get better. In the meantime, please rest assured that you are well and truly amongst friends and like minded people here on the Forum.

Debbie

[kallis3]

I opened the letters, after all I didn't have to speak to anyone and could leave it a few days before I did anything about it. It was the phone calls I used to ignore

[chris.g]

We turned the phone ringer down but could still see the flashing light when it was ringing [:(]
We used to have a 'letter opening' hour after sunday lunch, I'd save them up all week and then open and shred them....I think I shredded them to try to pretend it wasn't happening......
The letters have only just stopped, over 2 months after br, and I had a call from the Halifax last week saying that they had been notified that we had filed br and they wouldn't be contacting us again.
xxx

[kallis3]

So what was the point of that phone call then? I am sure you could have done without it.

[Moneystinks]

We too used credit to pay credit. We have not touched a single credit card since contacting Melanies team. It is strange but nice - I think I was addicted/reliant on knowing that if something was slightly more expensive then it didn't matter cause I had x amount left on the card. When we have been shopping I have tried to add everything up on the way round so as not to over spend - I have realised how out of practice I am at adding up lol! I am dreading not having enough cash in my purse and having to run out to the cash machine! We have no electron card yet - we are having a meeting on the 12th to see if we are eligabe. What do you think the chances are? I don't think so!! Never mind.

[pixieboy]

Since entering in to my IVA I miss all the letters and phone calls as strange as it may seem I enjoyed the banter with my creditors. It was great fun listening to them try and force me to make payments I could not afford. The key to dealing with these sort of people is stand strong offer a minimal payment you can actually afford and if they give you any hassle just remind them that constant telephone calls are a breach of Section 40 of The Administration of Justice Act 1970 and if they persist it consitutes a criminal offence under Section 2 of The Prevention from Harassment Act 1997. Plus also remind them that if they do threaten you with court and you have offered payments at a realistic amount you can afford then most judges will be on your side and they will probably award the court costs against your creditors!!! Oh and the best one is the old threat of Bailiffs - remember unless they have a County Court Judgment against you, they can not even instruct a Bailiff!!

Is it any wonder with all this free time on my hands now I have a well tendered garden! lol

[kallis3]

I know what you mean. I used to ignore the calls, but now I find myself waiting for any so that I can take great delight in telling them I am in an IVA. Only had one though, from Mercers, and they have stopped now.

I did phone CL Finance after they told me I had missed a payment and did have difficulty telling the caller about my IVA. It is nice when you can stop them in their tracks.

[michael.t47]

thanks pixie, printed thatout and will keep by the phone