Hi. I was going to do a blog for this, but the blog thing hates me and won't work. So then I wasn't going to do this at all, but then I was reading some posts from people feeling like they're failures. That made me decide to write this. So if you feel like a failure have a read. Bear with me, and read to the end. And hopefully it might help a little bit. If not, then at least you know you've got a sympathetic ear here if you need one. So. Here I go.
Reasons why I sometimes feel like a failure (not in any particular order).
1. 30k of debt accrued from 10 years of compulsive spending on other people. So I have nothing to show for it.
2. 34 years old and unable to have children. Most natural thing in the world for a woman to do, and I can't do it. (despite my login name, I am female, just in case that one confused you).
3. 10 years of dieting and I am still hugely overweight
4. 14 years of smoking and despite quitting in June, there's not a day that goes by where I don't think about it.
5. Most of my childhood suffering physical and mental abuse at the hands of my stepfather and then my stepmother.
OK - that was the depressing part. But you know what. The ONLY consequence of my obviously seriously crappy life is that I spend money. Correct that. I USED to spend money. I don't drink. I don't do drugs. And there have been times when I've sat there wanting to just disappear into the ground and never come back. But I'm glad to be here. I'm glad I'm sorting myself out. And I'm glad I found this forum full of all of you. No matter how hard or how bad life seems to get, there are always things that come along that make it all worthwhile. Even if they don't come along very often, they do come. And when you're feeling your lowest, thats what you have to concentrate on. The good times you've had and the good times that WILL come.
So whether that helps any of you or not, I don't know. But I'd like to think I can use my experiences to help other people. So you know where I am if you ever want to talk.
Johnz
Johnz
