IPOQ

[mish1953]

Mostly my fault ..
when we split up - she choose to leave, start a new life and explore her sexuality - she decided that she is gay. That left me to look after sproglette .

I was on about £25k pa, she was on 15k at the time. I sold the house and split the profit down the middle ( used a lawyer ) I used mine to put a deposit on another house, no formal agreement about sproglette, she could see her anytime and would have her at her place once she sorted somewhere out to stay for 4 day weekends every other weekend ( she works shifts ).

I reckoned that I would never get and financial help from her so didn't ask.. male pride I guess .

Daughter rarely ever went to mums, I sorted out child care, after school, all that sort of stuff.
Mum occasionlly buys her clothes , takes her out, has her for the odd couple of days.

8 years down, Ive was made redundant 2 years ago, got a lower paid job so that I can be in the area for daughter and am now BR, with a teenager, bless her.

I think that if I had left that I would have been paying maint - I know I would as I would have been obliged to morally never mind that my ex would have demanded it.

Its been a really tough 8 years, I havent been able to have any relationships as daughter got way to stressed out, ex has had several live in partners which also stresses daughter out .. its bad enuff mum being gay but shes a fairly in yer face sort of gay. Ive been skint for years, havent managed a camping holiday with sproglette for 3 years, waste of time dating as I cant afford to splash out on meals etc, cant remember the last time I had some new nice clothes - make sure sprog has nice, inexpensive stuff, she more important. I have one pair of shoes without holes !

I dont expect a lot and I dont expect or want sympathy but Im beginning to think that ex needs to be doing something financially to help, as my wages dropped and hers have gone up, I suspect that she is on more than me ...

Would the OR take it back ? Seems hardly worth it now.

Mish

[MelanieGiles]

What a fabulous Dad you are Mish. She is a very lucky sproglette, that's all I can say!

I think that you ought to pursue maintenance, if you feel that your ex-wife can afford to pay it. For one child she will be responsible for paying 15% of her net take home salary, and the Official Reciever will look at this as money for your daughter so unlikely to affect your IPO payments, if you are assessed to pay any.

If she refuses to pay voluntarily, then I would get the CSA involved.

Regards, Melanie Giles, Insolvency Practitioner for over 20 years.

For further details contact me at http://www.melaniegiles.com and view my IVA blog at: http://melaniegiles.blogs.iva.co.uk

[mish1953]

Thanks Melaine,

ex is on £22k - £25k a year + shift allowances and o/time - prison officer - stereotype or what !

I will broach the subject but suspect hat Im on a hiding to nothing -- she knows Im BR and I asked her to give sproglette £50 a month pocket money when I knew I was having problems .. she managed 2 months !

Might have to go down the CSA route but Im worried that the OR will increase my IPA and that would negate the maint payments.

ho hum
Mish

[MelanieGiles]

Try the CSA - it only costs the price of a stamp and this lady ought to be honouring her responsibilities as a parent.

Regards, Melanie Giles, Insolvency Practitioner for over 20 years.

For further details contact me at http://www.melaniegiles.com and view my IVA blog at: http://melaniegiles.blogs.iva.co.uk