IVA Accepted, still feeling guilty

[Spreadlove]

Good Afternoon All. I haven't posted for a while and I apologise for that. My IVA was accepted on the 13th December. I am very pleased and at the same time completeley exhausted. It has been a long road, a struggle to get to this point and now I have 5 years to make sure I concduct my IVA honestly and professionally. I've downloaded a Excel spreadsheet which will help me to budget for the year. Sometimes I find myself crying, how did I get myself into this financial state?. I feel so guilty, especially as I have a teenage daughter to take care of. I even passed my exams so I should be proud of myself right?
I would appreciate some advice on how to pick myeslf out of this sad state.

[OPTIMIST12]

Hi spreadlove -

I think everyone goes through some mega mood swings around the time your IVA is accepted. I know I felt I was walking on air the day my proposal was accepted and then - a few days later - I came down to earth with something of a bump when I realised the full picture of what lay ahead for the next five years. BUT to be honest - you DO quickly get into the swing of things and I would place a small bet that you will gradually come out of the low feelings you are currently going through.

I have now finished 10 months of my IVA and only one month has caused any major problems. I found it quite easy to adjust to my new lifestyle (not that I had any choice of course!!!!) and am now just going to keep my head down and work towards seeing through my IVA. Sounds to me like you have a really good attitude towards your own IVA and I am sure that you will soon feel better about things. Try not to dwell on the past - whats done is done - and an IVA offers a whole new beginning in life.

Good Luck to you - and congrats on passing your exams!!!

[aguise]

Hi Spreadlove.
I think sometimes when we go through a stressful time that we stay strong because we have to,when the dust settles a little and the stress reduces then we suddenly react to it all. I am great at doing this.
If it is too bad and you are finding yourself crying all the time the doctor may be a good place to go, not necessarily for anti depressants just for someone to talk to about it. If you dont want to, what I always do is , think of all the things that I have that are good, think of how much luckier I am than a lot of people, there is always someone worse off than you. I then pick myself up and carry on and believe it or not you can do it. You have a lovely daughter dont let this affect her, you have an iva for five years, how long would you have had the debt for if not for the iva. We all make mistakes and it is no use dwelling on them, look to a brighter debt free future for you and your daughter. An iva is not a prison sentance, it takes a while to settle without credit but all the nice things start to be realised, like no bills through the door, knowing that you have paid for things. Look at the pride a lot on the forum had managing xmas themselves, I am sure you are going to feel the same, just give yourself a little time to settle.
I hope this helps a little .

Ang xx

Please visit my blog at http://aguise.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[emma_t]

Hi spreadlove

Sorry to hear you are feeling like this

Guilt is a horrible feeling, but please stop being so hard on yourself as you have taken steps to ensure you have a debt free future in sight. And I am sure you would never allow yourself to get into debt again after all you have been through.
I entered into my iva in Nov, and its different for me as I don't have any children. I think it must be a lot harder for parents as they feel they have let not only themselves down, but also their children. I am sure your daughter is proud of you for passing your exams [:)] and with careful budgeting you will be fine in your iva.
It may help you to go to your GP who maybe able to sort out some counselling for you - I know we have a lady at my surgery who is very good. It might make you feel better to talk about it with someone...

Many congrats on passing yur exams and good luck
Emma x

[MelanieGiles]

Congratulations on passing the exams - a very fine achievement after all you have been through.

I often find with clients that when their IVA is accepted that things become a bit of an anti-climax, and your are left wondering which way to turn now, after spending months of living on a knife-edge and juggling, wondering what you can say to the creditors next about your worsening finances.

The first few months of an IVA are always the hardest - as you strive to operate within a fairly limited budget, taking account of increased payments unfairly demanded by creditors. And this has to be the worst time of the year, when consumer spending madness is at its worst, leading into depressing January.

Look at 2008 at the start of a new future for you and your daughter. Where you have taken responsible action to deal with your finances, and from now on things can only get better.

Regards, Melanie Giles, Insolvency Practitioner for over 20 years.

To have me propose an IVA for you, please visit:
http://www.melaniegiles.com/ivaEnquiry.asp

See customer feedback at:
http://www.iva.com/iva_companies/IVA_Advice_Bureau.asp

[Spreadlove]

thank you all for replying. I really appreciate your advice. I am touched. I am feeling a lot better today. I invited some friends last night, they all bought a couple of bottles of wine and I bought some 'buy 2 for £5' party food for nibbles. We had a wonderful time. I am beginning to find ways to entertain myself and having the love of friends and family is uplifting. Sending you all Love.

[aguise]

Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better. There is a lot to adjust to. You dont need to spend to enjoy yourself, as you say a few good friends and family around you are all you need. We all have down days just glad you feel a bit better. we are always here if needed.

Ang

Please visit my blog at http://aguise.blogs.iva.co.uk/