Everyone who goes into an IVA is going to be stressed at some point. This is incredibly true for those of us in the initial phases of one. I'm the type of person who is so emotionally fragile (although stronger than I thought for going through this alone). Any advice for de-stressing on ''bad" days?
Hi Sammy, I am a very emotional person too and I spent so long trying to protect our credit rating and was terrified of what would happen if we couldn't meet our payments in full each month, the first month I didn't make a payment I was a total wreck but yet I had 6 months of making no payments before our IVA was approved so by the end I had changed completely, its amazing how you find that inner strength and realise that at the end of the day, it's only money.
For me, on bad days I go running, not everybody's cup of tea but it works for me, I actually find on bad days that I don't really want to come on here as I want to just disassociate myself from the IVA/debt altogether and switch off from it so I try to find other activities (low cost or free) that get me away from the normal routine.
Last week me and my hubby had the week off and while the kids were at school we got out our local OS Explorer map and planned some walks in areas where we had never ventured before, it was amazing just what beautiful countryside we had on our doorstep, we were out every day and didn't spend anything all week apart from the fuel to drive to places and hubby said at the end of the week that he'd had the best week off ever, it was great!
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica">quote:<hr height="1" noshade>Originally posted by lem
Hi Sammy, I am a very emotional person too and I spent so long trying to protect our credit rating and was terrified of what would happen if we couldn't meet our payments in full each month, the first month I didn't make a payment I was a total wreck but yet I had 6 months of making no payments before our IVA was approved so by the end I had changed completely, its amazing how you find that inner strength and realise that at the end of the day, it's only money.
For me, on bad days I go running, not everybody's cup of tea but it works for me, I actually find on bad days that I don't really want to come on here as I want to just disassociate myself from the IVA/debt altogether and switch off from it so I try to find other activities (low cost or free) that get me away from the normal routine.
Last week me and my hubby had the week off and while the kids were at school we got out our local OS Explorer map and planned some walks in areas where we had never ventured before, it was amazing just what beautiful countryside we had on our doorstep, we were out every day and didn't spend anything all week apart from the fuel to drive to places and hubby said at the end of the week that he'd had the best week off ever, it was great!
This totally echos what I feel also. At the moment I am so highly strung I wonder if the social bunny will come to get me!
For me, the time waiting for my creditors meeting was also the start of my retirement!! Not only was I insolvent but now had all the time in the world to think about it. I spent every day for weeks helping a friend clear out her house from top to bottom, no mean fete when she is allergic to housework and lives in a 7 bedroomed house on her own!!She keeps everything, just in case, so suggest you could maybe find a challenge doing something really physical that at least would mean you sleep at night....
font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica">quote:<hr height="1" noshade>Originally posted by nepensioner
For me, the time waiting for my creditors meeting was also the start of my retirement!! Not only was I insolvent but now had all the time in the world to think about it. I spent every day for weeks helping a friend clear out her house from top to bottom, no mean fete when she is allergic to housework and lives in a 7 bedroomed house on her own!!She keeps everything, just in case, so suggest you could maybe find a challenge doing something really physical that at least would mean you sleep at night....
Clutter for a clutter free life?! I think when my creditor's meeting comes along I will be in social bunny overdrive. I know it does no good to worry- but we are all only human!
The time up to your creditors meeting is stressful, however you need to be proud of yourselves - you have taken the most important decision in that you have asked for help ! You have recognised the fact that help is required to support you in this matter - just think about all those thousands of other people who have not yet come to that conclusion - we proud of yourself !
Once you get the IVA having been approved - set yourselves small goals - first payment, six months of payments and the 12 mth payment - then annual review, 2nd yr review - before you know it you will be half way there and beyond !
I found that by telling a few close relatives / friends they gave me the encouragement and support to see it through.
The forum was an invaluable tool, and it helped me to start a blog on here so that I could rattle off my thoughts as they happened - I still look back over the blog 12 months on and smile - cannot believe the rollercoaster of a ride we went through !
Five years is nothing - you will be debt free - others will only just be getting to the stage of acknowledging they need help .... you will be a much better person for your IVA at the end - i promise you !
Use the forum as a sounding board - we are all friends on here and will not judge you in any way.
Ensure your I&E is realistic and supports your true expenditure - please do not agree to stretching it too far as it will put you under more pressure !
Keep focused and positive !
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
There is a solution for everyone .... Just need to stay positive !
De-stressing on a bad day for me would be to listen to some calming music, watch my star projector on the ceiling float around with its mystical blue cloud and just drift away to a happy place either on my own or snuggled up to my bubba
If you're an active person then things like household chores or, hobbies can take your mind off it and give you something else to think about.
Also as others have said come on here and gain strength and support from others in the same situation as you and know you're not on your own. Then look at the IVA completed stories and dream of the day you get to post that yourself
De stressing for me is being on my computer on here mostly or reading. Been married too long now to snuggle up to hubby - he'd wonder what was wrong!!!
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
Haha Jan there's nothing wrong with a snuggle. I have only been with mine for 11 years next month but I still love a snuggle in bed or whilst watching a film it's very relaxing
Twenty five years married for us next month and together on and off since 1978 so we're well past the snuggle stage now!
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
Get it back if you can, a snuggle is a lovely thing. Well guess it depends if you're a touchy feely person anyway. I've had lovely snuggles with close friends watching films and stuff. It's not sexual its just comforting, it is what it is and what it is, is a SNUGGLE haha!
Naaah! Prefer a good meal these days - lasts longer! LOL!!!!!!!!
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
