IVA Stress!!!!

[johnz]

Oh Johnz, stop it, I nearly cried when i read your last post. You sound so much like me..
I will tell him, honest, I just need to pick my moment..
Have you got an IVA sorted? How much did you owe, and if so, what did you propose to pay back in the £.
I hope you and your hubby are OK now.

Unfortunately I wasn't able to get an IVA. I'm now in the process of getting a debt management program sorted. I owe just under 30k, but this isn't the first time I've done this. The first time my husband remortgaged the house. The second, I refinanced. This is my third and last chance with my husband and I'm very lucky to have got that. To be absolutely fair to him, he's been an absolute sweetie about it. We've had flare up's, but the whole thing is so stressful for him so it's not suprising. Are we ok? Honestly, I don't know. We are taking things one day at a time, most days an hour at a time. All I can do is my best and accept that it will be months, if not years before we can get back to what we were. But I love him and will do what is necessary to prove that to him. That's all I can do.

Johnz

[debbiw]

Hi Johnz
Why could you not get an IVA?

[johnz]

My husband earns too much for it to be viable. They couldn't look at it with just my income and expenditure, and my husband is not willing to help contribute towards paying off a debt he knew nothing about.

So I'm currently trying to organise a debt management program, which can be based on just my debts.

My husband is having to disassociate himself from my debts though, otherwise his credit rating could be affected also.

How are things with you?

Johnz

[debbiw]

Hiya Johnz

I am fine, I am full of cold, and feeling rubbish at the moment, haven't told him yet, as I can't face the arguments when i feel like this. I will tell him as soon as i feel better. I don't think that payplan are advising me correctly then, as my husband earns a good salary, he doesn't have any debt at all, but they have told me that i would qualify for an IVA. I am totally confused now!!
If you do a DMP, can the creditors still take you to court, and stuff, or do they agree to the DMP? I heard that they can still start proceedings even though you are paying them a small amount each month to clear your debt. Is this true?

[johnz]

No idea, unfortunately. I only started getting it sorted last night.

I would really advise that you speak to Melanie about your situation though. She is very honest and will tell you up front if she thinks an IVA will be possible. If it's not, then she can refer you to Andrew to discuss the DMP.

Like you, when I first started looking into all of this, the first company I went to said it would be no problem, the second refused to listen to me at all (would ask a question, then half way through me answering would cut me off with another question!!), so eventually, after much reading and research, I went with Melanies company.

The one thing you really need in this is complete and utter honesty from the person sorting it out for you. Company's that tell you what you want to hear, just so they can get your business are doing you no favours. Yes, you might feel better in the short run, but when it falls apart, you're the one left to pick up the pieces.

After speaking with Melanie about this, there is absolutely no way you should even consider an IVA without your IP being in possession of ALL of your household income and expenditure. And that definately includes your husbands.

One thing I was told would be asked was, why has your husband got no debt when you have. After that it will be, so now prove your husband has not benefited in any way from the debt you've accumulated. And, if like me, you have no idea what you've spent the money on, that task is impossible.

At the time I thought it was grossly unfair. And to be honest I do think it's very unfair to my husband. But if you take a step back and look at it from the creditors point of view, they're right. Can you honestly say you did not spend a penny of that money on your husband. Or on your house. And if you're very honest with yourself, I'll bet the answer will be no.

I know this is stuff you don't want to hear. I know that because I didn't want to hear it either. But your first step in this process is to make an agreement with yourself. No more lies. Nothing but honesty. That's the only way you will be able to get anything sorted.

Keep your chin up mate. There are some hard times ahead, but look at it this way. When you've hit rock bottom, the only way is up. [:)]

Johnz