IVA thoughts

[cat 1]

Morning.I've made 10 payments into my IVA now.Finances are easier, but I'm totally pre occupied with being in an IVA still.I have thoughts coming into my head and it's usually the first thought I have each morning.When people are discussing money I feel like they know.And, whilst I'm in a store I feel like everyone might know and look how I'm buying something.The assistant can't see lots of bulging credit cards and I'm never making expensive purchases, so I feel judged.Does this sound silly? Paranid even?
I wish I could just forget things for awhile.I thought the 'thoughts' would diminish over a period of time, but they haven't and there's little respite.Perhaps reading on here every day doesn't help with my obsession but the site is wonderful and comforting.People here understand! Does anyone else feel this ? I'm wishing the next 5 years away which is wicked as my children will not doubt up and gone by then and I feel so guilty..Might not make sense just thought I'd try to! Cat x

[indebtforever]

hi i totally agree in with every word it is on my mind constant i have been in one over 3 years but there isnt a minute that goes by that i dont have it on my mind or thinking of ideas how to end it early i do hope it gets better for you i also have kids and i think having a family whilst in an iva is even more daunting birthdays,school trips ,dinner money,xmas etc etc its never ending i get paid monthly on the 15th and i am looking for the next one on about the 17th.once you get past your review and you see some figures you have paid it settles you a bit and its a big milestone you have covered even the 12 month one

keep strong and positive who knows what tommorow will bring

[:)]

[cat 1]

Morning.Thanks.Reassuring that I not just about to be carted off in a white coat (Actually they don't make you change into a white coeat anymore before carting you off- I'm a mental health nurse and you simply get carted off in what you're wearing!!!)In fairness, I've been pre occupied with money of some sort for years now.Lack of it and paying back debts usually! I feel transparent at times.Wierd feeling.Forums wonderful but I wish I knew someone 'real'- IVA as made me feel very isolated.As though I'm the only one.Clearly this is not the case. Right back to bed now with acup of tea and listen to the August rain on the windows!! Cat[:)]

[plasticdaft]

The reason you have thoughs is because the iva plays such a big part in your life,but it is still surely better than before when you had all the plastic in your purse/wallet and bought all the big things.

[freelili]

Cat

Even though I am not in an IVA, my journey took a different path, I can understand how you feel. I honestly felt branded, like I had a owes money stamped on my forehead. I hated it when I would pay for something small, the assistant would say, do you want to save 20 per cent today and try to give me a store card, or you get those people in the town, that are promoting something and you think, I am not normal anymore, I am one of the branded.

Evem now with the debts gone I still have to talk myself into not worrying, like, is the washing machine going to stop working or how do get through this family wedding, christmas, etc. Whats going to happen next? What am I going to lose next? Last Christmas I was totally paronoid, I know it was irrational, but so concinved was I that someone was going to die that I couldnt relax until Christmas eve when everyone was home and the doors were shut. I even picked my son up from his part time job, a ten min bus ride away. I keep telling myself, debt has taken a lot out of my life, I sometimes feel angry for that, even though I put myself there. One the other hand I feel like a much better person for having teen through it, I appreciate things more than I used to and I have seen a different, caring side to everyone. Its been two years since I started and its better than it was. Good things can happen, it takes time to adjust.

It must be so hard on people, slogging their guts out with full time jobs and coping with ever growing kids for a full five years. Hang on in there, life is more bearable now than it was being chased by creditors, yes?

Why are you up so early on a Sunday, are you just not sleeping too well?

[angela18]

I eat sleep and breathe IVA.. worry about every penny and if we'll have enough to live on.. especially with the prices rising... but I'd rather be here now than where I was 6 months ago..

its a learning curve of how to manage.. I keep slipping back a few paces but hopefully I'll master it someday!!!

[plasticdaft]

I sleep much better under the protection of my trust deed than I did when I was juggling money week in week out. I am managing my debts,people who continue to use plastic without paying the balance in full every month are delusional if they think they are in control,coz believe me,they aint.

[kallis3]

I think about my IVA all the time as well. I hate it when people at work talk about holidays and what they have bought. The only consolation I have is that I am not getting any deeper into debt, and they probably are!

My excuse for not going on holiday is mine and hubbys health which is partly true, and the fact that insurance would cost us a fortune (which again is true). No one has questioned it so far.

As for the shops, I just tell them no thanks when they ask if I want a card, I used to do that pre IVA anyway, so it doesn't feel any different.

We'll all get there in the end, it's just a bit of an uphill struggle at the moment.

[maxdebt]

I certainly don’t miss my wallet being filled with credit cards. I remember the awful months when they were all at maximum, sitting in the middle of a pedestrian precinct with three banks around me, owing £15,000 credit card debt to each one (maxed out), been refused any more credit and 2 weeks before I got paid. No money for food. That hotness across my back and neck, my heart racing. That sense of despair of failing my family. No, I love my IVA. It has given me my life back. Yes Christmas was lean and this one will be the same. Sorry I don’t feel the way you do. I hand over my debit card with pride. I do find myself staring intently at the person in front of me to see if they use a credit or debit card to pay for food [:I]

[maxdebt]

I tell people that we are not going on holiday because we can't afford it. When others express suprise ( I get a good wage and they know it!) I tell them the truth. That I amassed a huge amount of debt and I have to pay it back. I don't tell them I am in an IVA.

[kallis3]

I have no wish to be talked about behind my back at work as they would do if they knew I was in debt, let alone in an IVA. They already do that to one of my colleagues (I don't join in, just get my head down).

You are lucky Maxdebt -I don't have a debit card, so it's cash all the way for me.

[Til]

I agree with you Maxdebt - I feel like perhaps when you dig deep down to it we are at least the ones who have taken back some semblance of control over our lives - so far although it's early days for me I love our IVA and somehow feel really lucky! Perhaps that's just the eternal optimist in me!

I know we will have tough times when credit would help eg. house repairs or car breakdowns... but overall I feel like we have been given a chance now to acheive what in this day and age seems to be a rare thing - being debt free!

Also from being in this position myself I think I have become more attuned to the undercurrents of peoples conversation when money is talked about and it surprises me how often I hear that same sense of worry in peoples voices when they talk 'jokingly' about how much they have on their credit cards - I know that there are far more people out there scared and out of control but hiding from it and heading towards that ultimate 'maxed out' day.

Perhaps despite getting into a stupid mess - we are in fact the lucky ones for seeing the error of our ways, changing them, and heading for the debt exit... My IVA has given me (for now at least as I never like to tempt fate!) a sense of peace that I have not felt in a very long time... in the imortal words of Mastercard - priceless!!!!!! [;)]

[kallis3]

Til, I am so much happier since I started my IVA, no sleepless nights, panic when the phone rings or the postman calls.

I'm not depressed and actually look forward to payday now, knowing I will have some money left at the end of the month rather than the other way round.

Whilst I am not ashamed of my IVA, far from it, I don't want anyone I know to know about it.

[Til]

Aw glad to hear you rest easier these days Kallis - it has been a massive weight off our shoulders too [:)]

Yeah the only thing I don't do is tell people about the IVA - although I think if the right conversation came up I possibly would.
Mostly I wouldn't want my Dad to know as he is old-school if you don't have the money don't buy it and would be dissapointed in me [:(]
However, if he ever does find out I can honestly say we have now taken control of it so that in itself is something to feel proud of [:D]

[kallis3]

My parents are the same Til, I think they would die of shame if I admitted our problems. Just glad I'm getting them sorted.

If someone I worked with told me they were in or considering something like a IVA, I would probably tell them about mine. I might even do so when I have finished, especially as I will be retiring shortly afterwards!!!!! Once I've gone, they can say what they like about me!