Ive been reading this site for a while but still undecided whether to go for an iva. Yes i do owe quite a lot but i wouldnt dare put on the sie how much. Iam very embarrased about my debt even though people seem nice on here and are very helpful.
Don't be embarrassed. I felt the same way until I started to read this site and saw that I was not alone. Getting into debt is not something we plan to do - it just happens and is usually due to various personal reasons in your life that mean you have to rely on credit - believing that life will improve and you will be able to clear all your debt - unfortunately that never seems to happen. Being in an IVA means that you are taking a responsible approach to your debt and paying back as much as you can afford.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do - but do speak to someone for professional advice. I am with the Debt People who have been very good and my IVA was approved on 6th April. You will see from this site that there are also two very good IP's in David Mond and Melanie Giles.
Hi
Don't feel embarrassed about your debt level, no one will judge you on this site.
If you can post a few details then we may be able to advise you
Regards
You are among friends here, we have all been there and you would be amazed how much debt a lot of us have so don't be embarrassed.
As Andy says, if you post a few details, we can advise you.
You could also visit www.iva.com for a list of companies and reviews. Give one or two a ring and you will receive free and impartial advice about all the options open to you, and the best one for your circumstances.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
Sweet Mysteries, you said you are considering an IVA? Whether you choose to do this or not, can I recommend that you face up to your debt problem sooner rather than later. The longer you wait the more difficult and the more pressure you will be under. You debt will be able to be addressed by Bankrupcy, an IVA or a Debt Management Plan.
Finding this site was a godsend for me, I had buried my head in the sand for far to long. The professional advice and emotional support I received on here has allowed me to get my life back on track.
This site is anonomous, so just please do not be embarrassed. Jot down your circumstances and you will received sound, professional advice without judgement.
There is nothing to be worried or embarrassed about - you have taken the first giant leap towards sorting your difficulties out, and that is acknowledging that you have a problem in the first place.
The next step will be to seek proper professional advice as to the options available to you to deal with the debt, and an insolvency practitioner can help with this. You will also find lots of help and support on the forum from people who have been there, and some who have come out the other side as well.
When my husband said he was ashamed and felt useless Melanie told him those words do not form part of her vocab and should not form part of his. This forum has been and is a tremendous help to us from all over - particularly from our IP Melanie - when either of us raises a worry she shoots it down in flames.!! I worry and my husband does for several reasons (Melanie knows what they are) but do try not to do so - it is counter productive. You will find help on here either from fellow debtors and/or a professional. J
I felt uncomfortable at first as I had been brought up to face up to your responsibilites but I don't feel embarrassed about entering into an IVA now at all. Some people don't want to tell their friends but I have told anybody that matters (apart from my husbands family as they don't like me anyway and have never helped out even in the good times). I have seen the steps I took as facing up to my situation and being able to pay my way again without a stressful situation. You can't regret things that have happened and spend the rest of your life letting it pull you down further. Learn from the past to use in the future.
I think one of the reasons why debt is such a horrible thing is the stigma and embarrassment that surrounds it. Its just in our culture the more you seem to have the more you seem to be. Not true.
I think we all felt the same way, I certainly did and its a very lonely isolating place, eventually I managed to confide and fess up. I am sure I read here somewhere that one of the IP's dealt with someone who owed a million on 31 credit cards, he or she found a solution.
I owed 34K and I thought I was finished, I was very wrong and have found life again. Furthermore going through it changed me for the better, I think. I am a bit of a miser now and watch the pennies.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
Last edited by freelili on Mon Apr 27, 2009 10:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
Try Melanie or David, they are very well respected, I only wish I had went with one of them! I have found the last few weeks so hard not relying on credit, paying everything cash, and constantly checking my bank balance, making sure I've got enough money for food! In the past I've just put it on the credit card, obviously deeply regretting it now but am slowly adjusting to paying cash and although it has been very hard am feeling much better in myself, knowing I'm paying my way. You have nothing to feel embarrassed about, we are all friends in the same boat and are here to help one another along a very tough road but a well worthy road is ahead in the distance.
Its awful when you realise how much you owe isn't it. When I discovered hubby owed £80k, I thought it was the end of the world. I soon discovered facing up to it is a massive step.Yes you will be stressed, but believe me, once you have got the best advice and found a solution, things will improve.
Try not to cope with this alone, there's always someone about on the forum to give you support xx
SWEET MYSTERIES ITS NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF MANY PEOPLE OWE HUGE AMOUNTS BUT THE BEST THING IS TO FEACE UP TO IT AND DEAL WITH IT. YOU WILL FEEL BETTER IN THE LONG RUN KNOWING THAT YOUR DEBT PROBLEM IS GOING TO GET SORTED I FELT THE SAME BUT I TOOK OUT AN IVA IT WAS THE BEST THING I EVER DONE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 2 YEARS I FEEL RELIEVED AND RELAXED THE STRESS WAS LIFTED ALTHOUGH IT CAN BE HARD IN AN IVA AT TIMES AT LEAST YOU KNOW IT WILL END AND THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE ON HERE THAT WILL ALWAYS HELP YOU.
As usual, good advice and great support from everyone.
Once you find the right IP for you and you feel comfortable with the solution they have suggested, things will start to improve. The worry before you start the journey is worse than the actual journey so jump onboard the debtfree train.
"It's better to be in control on a small budget than to be out of control on a large budget."
