Just needing some tea and sympathy

[angela18]

well if thats so.. get the butler to run you a bath... and you relax.. ma'am

[Viki.W]

Hey Elizabeth. I'm so sorry that you are feeling low. I think you're doing brilliantly. You have so much on your plate at the moment.

Although I don't have any words of wisdom, I think you would definately benefit from some counselling help. I, too, am thinking of that as I don't seem to be able to cope with my Mum's death and it's been 5 years now.

I know what you mean about putting it off, I think you think things are ok but really they aren't and you need some help now.

Don't forget, I feel that this forum is a type of counselling, we're all here for you. Viki X

[emma_t]

Hi Elizabeth

You have had such a tough journey and its not been easy at all for you.

I have just read Lily's post and agree totally but can't put it into such lovely words as she, please look after yourself and have a bit of 'me' time every now and again.

I hope you are feeling well at the moment and not suffering with your health.

Love & Best wishes
Emma xx

[freelili]

Viki

It is well worth contacting MIND, they run coffee mornings (in this area anyway). My GP organised it for me (probably because he knew I wouldnt have phoned them). I found it very helpful, I went along for a few months and I found it a tremendous help. Apparently some get stuck in the greiving process and cant move to the next stage, it was an awful guilt with me, I felt responsible, I wasnt of course but I couldnt see that. Anyhow I hope you phone and book in, I am sure it will help you.

Best of luck, chuck.

[facingittogether]

I TOO WENT TO COUNSELLING AFTER LOSING MY MUM! SHE WAS MY BEST FRIEND AND I JUST COULD NOT GET OVER LOSING HER! THE COUNSELLING SESSIONS DEFINATELY HELPED!

GET ONTO IT VICKI, I THINK IT WILL HELP YOU!

BARB X

[Viki.W]

Thanks Lily, I really appreciate that....really. I haven't approached anyone because I really didn't know who would help. It's been so long that I didn't think that I could really go to bereavement groups, and I can't afford private counselling. I suppose I could have gone to the doc but I was worried that I'd be given pills and I've no experience of that. Nobody knows how I am feeling. I am always chirpy, big smiles etc. Of course the situation I'm in now isn't helping, especially as the restaurant was mine and my Mum's. I'm going to be devestated to let it go. Thank you for the contact, I'll look in to that this week. Viki X

[Viki.W]

Thanks Barb, It means a lot that we have had the same experiences, although of course very sad. My Mum was my best friend too, I lived at home with her til the end....and I was 32! I just couldn't bear to be apart from her. Potential husbands didn't stand a chance. I am going to look in to MIND this week. This site is so helpful, not just about the debt. Hope you're ok. Viki X

[freelili]

I will find the number out and post it, if that is OK with ADMIN. **

I know how hard this is, obviously I am not in your circumstances but there are times when you just want to scream, why, why why, right? Noone can take the pain of loss away, but they can help you to see the whole picture and where you fit into it. It helps you to see youre in the middle instead of on some deserted island, feeling isolated and lonely.

Anyhow, the kids are making cakes, so I will post back later, if I still have a house.

No problem Lily, many thanks for the info
admin [:)]

[Viki.W]

Thank you Lily. X

[freelili]

Hi Viki

The number I have I cant find, but I have found a national number and also a link in whihc you enter an area post code and it comes up with your local meeting place.

Please give them a ring, I am sure it will help you.

0845 7660163

www.mind.org.uk/Mind+in+your+area/

The first page on the site is very ironic....

[Viki.W]

Thank you so much Lily, you are a lovely lady. Viki X

[freelili]

Thank you

Good luck, I hope you go ahead with them and are feeling much better soon.

Love

[elizabethr]

We seem to have got on the subject of grieving and that's another story for me. I sympathise with anyone who has lost a person close to them and yes, although it sounds strange, my situation is a bit like grieving. If you think about it it must be because its all about lose - I have lost something over the past few years and more recently the last few months - I have lost me. I don't mean to diminish the loss of a loved one. I too have been through that so can see the reasoning behind my feelings now. To those worried about counselling or going to the doctors for help - I have used both. My GP practice has been very supportive - they look at us as a family rather than just the individual. They have supported us every step of the way with Philip's illness so they know what the rest of us has had to put up with - even my daughter's depression. In fact our main doctor is so supportive he actually wrote to the consultant that mis-diagnosed Philip originally and told him he didn't know what he was doing and to change his diagnosis. Thats sticking up for you.

I lost both my mum and dad within 2 months of each other (October 92 and Christmas day 92) I did have counselling then and again later on. It took me a long time to get over it so anyone thats struggling don't despair especially if it is taking a long time - it will change but everybody is different and there is no "normal" time scale.

Last year I lost my dearest friend and she was only 39 - I think that's what started putting this money thing into perspective. She had loads of debt and I was the only one that knew. She had a serious of unfortunate mis-haps/stress and accidents (sounds strange but long story) and died very suddenly (not a terminal illness though. Big shock to my system and made me more determined not to go under.

This forum is turning into an "agony aunt" publication. Oh well everything helps somebody.

[plasticdaft]

Just talking even if its on an online forum like this can often help ElizabethR, perhaps even more so that sitting face to face with a stranger. As far as I am concerned we are all here for each other and from what I have read in the short time I have been logging on this site is that everyone here does a damn good job at helping one another out,whether its advice or a listening ear thats required.

You will make it though this. One step at a time,but even the small steps count for so much.

[freelili]

Yes I agree, the forum is becomming an agony aunt thingy. It proves there is more to life than money. First we are people with a common problem...debt. Its a small word but its isolating and scary. If we can survive it with plus, plus, plus going on, then, like you say it might help someone else.

Sorry to have kind of hijacked your post with the greif thing. You are a very strong person dealing with a heck of a lot. I really hope you can start to see the light soon.

All I can say is that this time last year I didnt even want to wake up and couldnt see a light anywhere, didnt even want to look. I just look forward to every day now, I still have some bad days but the future, cant wait...

Good luck to you and everyone else having a tough time right now.