Kez, my heart goes out to you. You and your hubby must feel like hamsters on one of those exercise wheels. Also, your IVA event did absolutely nothing to allow you and hubby to feel better. Did it? Life has a way of sneaking up on us and kicking us right up the posterior when we least expect it. And when it does, it gives up pause to sit, cry and reflect on our lives. A chance to question our values. A chance to think about what's important to us as women, mothers and wives.
We as women set the tone in a home. This is what turns the mortar and brick into a warm loving atmosphere for the rearing of children;and the pleasure of DIY for your hubby and maybe yourself. This is what makes it so difficult in declaring a bankruptcy.
It's as though some evil entity is declaring war on your home, your territory, your family. Okay, so we don the war gear and get our weapons (IVAs) and hope and pray we can defeat the enemy.
Goodness, we fight! Boy do we fight! We dodge Atilla The Hun (bailliffs). We do our war cries to the opposition (debt collectors). We put healing salve on the enemies treaties (spit on the creditors post). And we do this with gusto and pride. We then we lay our heads down at night attempting to get some much needed sleep. Only to find ourselves sleeping fitfully from trying to think up ways to outsmart the enemy. And then morning arrives and we are up to fight another day.
You have fought a good fight my sister-in-debt. Your husband and your children shall sing your praises and tell of your tales for many years to come. You have gained your medals (love from your hubby and children).
Is that not why you fought and suffered? To make them happy? To maintain the very shelter over them? That which we refer to as bricks and mortar? Cry your tears, and lament your losses. Mourn the potential lose of the family nest. Goodness knows I do. It hurts.
It hurts because it meant so much to you. It hurts because you will always look back and remember 'that' home and 'that' certain special memory in 'that' home.
So, I say mourn that loss. Grieve, stomp your feet on the steps and pound the walls! Until...when you ask? Until you have come to that place of acceptance within yourself about lossing your home.
But please remember my sister-in-debt, home is where the heart is. And your heart is with your family. So, does it matter where you live as long as your all together,relaxed and happy? No, not really. Of course you will miss your mother. It's only natural when there is a loving mother-daughter relationship. So, I say IF that moment arrives, cry over that loss as well.
Try and be of good cheer and be prepared to fight yet another day.
Anytime you need to polish your helmet let me know (smile). I have loads of the stuff.
Good luck with your employment!
All I have left is my humour.
