living with my shame and stupidity

[Karen.mg]

Well done for getting to the half way marker, all down hill from here!!

I know what you mean about not telling family and friends about being in an IVA, the only member of my family that is aware of mine is my sister, just couldn't tell Mum, Dad had cancer and died about 16 months in to mine, my younger brother doesn't deal in anything other than cash so couldn't tell him as e just wouldn't understand and my older brother was in the millionaire club! That was until his wife found out he'd been cheating on her for years, they divorced early this year and he's just about to loose over £1 million in money/ houses to her. So money really doesn't buy happiness, my sister in law is devastated and no amount of money is going to compensate her for what she's lost

DO NOT feel ashamed, you have done an amazing job of getting to where you are now, keep up the good work and when you feel you want to tell someone close to you take a deep breath, sit them own and explain. There could be questions to be answered and I'm sure they will understand, after all you've got so much to be proud of now.

Best of luck with everything.

Karen xx

[nra]

thanks Karen for kind words.

never thought this would be so difficult,the thought of the next three years on this is scarey,just wish it was all over.

need to get my monthly finances back in check ive been all over the place the last 6 months

[Karen.mg]

Buy yourself a cheap notebook, write down all of your monthly allowances and compare to your spending, when you're out if you're tempted to buy something, ask yourself "do I need it, can I afford it and if I buy it will I use it" it's amazing what you can resist!!

I recently joined my local library and borrowed some amazing books on how to manage money, now I'm tighter than ever and have amazed myself on how I've adapted!!

Don't think about the 3 years ahead as that is scary just cope month by month and the years will fly by. You have an amazing IP who will give you lots of support when needed,

Good luck xx

Karen x

[juliebe]

I agree its hard work but at least you get yourself moving forward to a future ...I am 2yrs 2 months into my IVA feel at least there will be a new day when all this is finished.You are never to old to sort your debts out better late than never....

[MelanieGiles]

At least you are halfway through now and looking down the hill rather than up it. Cannot believe how quick those three years have gone.

[nra]

i know Melanie

lifes such a struggle at times,let myself become so down its hard to find anything to smile about lately

works a nightmare and lifes just such a drag i dont know how people manage to get through 6 yrs of this i really dont

[MelanieGiles]

Try to keep your chin up. Being halfway through an IVA can often bring out the blues, as you know you have just as long to go as you have already been, but remember how bad things were before you entered into the IVA and take comfort that each payment now is nearer the end.

[Shining]

I agree with Melanie think of how it was pre-IVA. I know for me things are better within one. I realise I'm nearing the end of my journey but it's not been without its trials. Hope you feel more positive soon and remember here on the forum we're all her for you x

[Niobe]

I agree that it can be a struggle and the light doesn't seem to get any brighter but Lesley and Mel are right - think about how things used to be when you dreaded the phone ringing and the postman calling - you don't get that now and the time will end.

I've had the year from hell this year with one thing and another but can rest easy knowing that at the most I have 18 months to go. Somehow I've managed to stay positive most of the time.

Keep going and remember that we are all here for that support and a virtual hug anytime you need it.

[nra]

after becoming ill and suffering a bout of depression i had a breakdown and had to tell my parents of my financial situation and iva.

had been able to keep it a secret for 3 years until last month when life just got on top of me and i couldnt cope with it all.

the disappointment on my dads face on hearing of me messing my finances up was so hard to see,he could barely speak to me.

my mother just started to cry.

really wish i had been able to be strong enough and cope with this without having to tell them.

i feel humiliated all over again and such a failure,i just want to get the next 3 years over with.

just want to say to people to be careful who you let know about being in an iva as it can sometimes do more harm than good to confide in family.

awaiting my third annual review to come through and just wanting to get past christmas which i now find totally depressing and into the new year...

[oscar]

Hi nra,
I think you were so strong to get the IVA up and running and keep it a secret for so long. Please try not to beat yourself up about things. What you did took courage and your parents probably don't understand how you are feeling. I am thinking of you your third review will be out of the way soon I hope and you can start to feel better. I also think that when your mam started to cry it was probably because you did not tell her sooner because I'm sure you are loved very much and she just wants to protect you. You are definitely not a failure and if you ever want someone to talk to you can email me direct by adding me to your frugal friends. Very best wishes and keep letting us know how you are getting on please.
Oscar

[no more cards24]

Hi were the same no one knows were i a IVA and we`ve been in it for 6 yrs 2 months a extra 2 years for there not being enough eqity in hour house, Were counting down 10 months to go, But wishing our lives away just cant go fast enough, roll on the summer.

[no more cards24]

Hi just adding to our last post find it hard with everyone getting there ppi claims and buying new cars etc while weve got to make do and moaning about there wages etc when were having to pay £400 to £600 a month into our IVA, depending on our overtime etc. we have to manage on £600 a month on food etc if they only new.

[nra]

just feel constantly overwhelmed........so many emotional ups and downs...its always on my mind

[nra]

thank you Oscar but i just have to beat this myself...