I fell pregnant at 17, it really was an accident, I had an infection from a tampon at 16 and was very ill, they said I probably wouldnt have children. I loved my husband very much, we were both students. We did get a flat and my Moms and Dad helped out with childcare while we both studied and worked. We got married, bought a house, eventually and we always worked. We had a few more kids.
I left my husband 12 yeas ago taking my children with me, I went into countil accomodation and continued to work as many hours as I could.
Just over 18 months ago I had to leave on health grounds and havent been able to work since. My neighbours judge me terribly, single parent on benefits but its not from choice. I am an intelligent person with lots of qualifications, as soon as I get the all clear, I will be looking for work again.
Someone quite close to me recently had a baby, she only ever worked part time before the pregnancy, she lives with her mom and dad. When they went on holiday, her neighbour brought meals round and did the washing for her and the baby, she said she simply couldnt manage or do everything caring for the baby all day and night.... What?? I did my house, my job and my kids and noone ever cooked, washed or ironed for me.
Not all single parents choose that life style, some marriages cant work. Some go out and get pregnant just because they dont value themselves enough and need a baby to be loved, other are bone, stinking idle and couldnt care less.
Sometimes the kids suffer when Mom is trying to juggle a million things and has no support from partner.
I always had to miss one of their sports days, assemblys, plays etc. I missed out on coffee mornings at the special school and socialising with other parents who also have disabilities.
When my kids were ill it was a stress because of work commitments.
Problem of finding someone to care for them during the school holidays. Particularly when they have special needs.
Not all single parents can be put into the same boat.
