Losing the plot !!! today is the day

[freelili]

Hi

If I have upset you please forgive me, that was never my intention, I am concerned by your health problems and the fact that you would only be given a short respite if your IVA goes through. Then I was afraid you would be right back where you started and having to face BR anyway. There is just a couple of points that I want to pick up. I wanted to say this yesterday but was afraid of pushing you over the edge.

Your IP should not be making you feel afraid, they should be approachable at all times and not just when they have done their bit. I, personally wouldnt go ahead if I had doubts about the approachablity of the company.

If you know now that you cant service the IVA later on, wont you just be even more stressed as the months go on? How will that affect your already suffering physical health?

Have you actually looked into BR? I know it sounds scary, I was heading that way myself. It really might be the best option to end this for you.

Please dont feel ashamed, whats done is done. There is no sense in beating yourself you about this anymore. You have already suffered enough. It is very easy to fall into debt, it creeps over our heads before we are even aware of it. Youre a human being trying your best to find a way. Wanting to return as much as possible to your creditors is one thing, but if the circumstances or the income dont allow for it then it doesnt mean youre a failure, or a bad person.

Yes BR is a huge step but only one step away from an IVA, both need very serious consideration. What I am trying to say is, if you know one isnt going to work, why not do the other to save yourself stress, illness and more suffering and your IP work which is going to go nowhere'

If youre sure that you can maintain the payments for the next five years and youre not going to suffer more of this intollerable stress, then go ahead. Youre worth much more than money, please dont destroy yourself with negative feelings.

[quark2008]

Lily, you haven't upset me in the slightest, and i'm really grateful for your support and advise.I am trying to pluck up the courage to pick up the phone and call B&E.I am reflecting back on my years of owing money, best part of 15 i think.And yes ok,i haven't been in arrears and have paid on time, I've been keeping myself happy, compensating i guess buying things and going places to stave off some quite horrendous bouts of depression.Which is difficult to admit to.#13;#10;#13;#10;BR may set myself free and offer me a fresh start, though i reckon i will still feel rather guilty and a bit weak.I know this sounds pathetic and contradictory.I am studying, i want to be a midwife, or paediatric nurse.The hospital trust i work for, are paying for me to study an access course to prepare me for Uni, it feels great to be nominated and have my skills recognised thus far.I am enjoying the course, haven't failed one single assignment yet and my confidence with regard to academic ability is improving.Over the last few weeks though, and you are right, my general health has taken an absolute walloping,it's clearly evident in my appearance and how i am coming across on here. I do have to think of the future, i'm sure my studies will suffer if i am having difficulties paying into an IVA for the next 5 years.#13;#10;#13;#10;I have read Skippy's amazing journey through BR. The absolute sticking point just now is the housing association will not accept applicants for the key worker homes if they are an undischarged bankrupt.#13;#10;#13;#10;Do i get my skates on now and go for it and hope i will be discharged by the time they are finished ? Which will be a year from now.#13;#10;

[freelili]

Hey, I have to say, get your skates on, you may be discharged early. I can so understand where youre coming from. I was at uni at an early age, I met the man of my dreams and well got myself in the family way. This was a great disapointment to my parents who had steadfast beliefs on mariage before children. Well I didnt finish my degree with a newborn and being so young, etc. So I took it up later on, finished my degree. I think you are to be admired to trying to get into something you want to do in the future, these assignments can be quite demanding, right? For the last 6 years I have done further education.

BR is not an easy option and yes you may feel a little sad with it at times, I know Skips been through feelings and hard times herself.

This is your future and you have to put yourself first. The banks and credit card companies wont be throwing up with stress and fear, nor will they be stresssing about where they are going to live. They lent you the money, not to help you out, but to make even more money. They took a chance on you and lost. They would pick your bones clean if they could sell your flesh. With the best intentions in the world, none of us ever wanted to end up here, we all wanted to repay our loans etc, it was just too easy to get in too deep. I am not saying that its all their fault and we shouldnt try our best but blood, stones???

Make that phone call and dont be bullied, tell them youre sorry but you cant see this thing going the distance..... Please dont worry too much, I am sure the answer you need is right there...

[chardonnay]

Hi Quark,
Lilly's advice is good - make the call. I'm with B & E and you will get a sympathetic ear if you keep asking. I would also suggest contacting CB or CCCS for independant free advice, I contacted them recently, even after my IVA to see if I'd made the right decision.
Remember B & E take a lot of fees, both before and after the IVA creditors meeting - is there a cheaper comany for you? One of the experts on the site will be able to help you if they know where you live - by identifing an IP near you.
Keep your chin up, your choice of nursing courseis admirable, you will get so much job satisfaction form that the money will seem un-important (I say that as I've been a nurse and ODP since 1978!!!)
Let us know how you get ontry to look ater your health - that so important,
Hugs,
Chardonnay

[chardonnay]

Hi gain,
I forgot to ask, once you start your training can't you get hospital accomodation? (We did for the first three - six months - and then we split into groups of friends who rented together as we trained. It was great fun....
That may be another option for you to look at,
Hang in there,
Hugs,
Chardonnay

[Skippy]

As the others have said your health is so much more important than money. As Caerrie says why don't you get a second opinion, especially if you are going to have to pay fees up front. Give Melanie or Ian a call and they will be able to talk you through all your options, and take into account your change in circumstances next year.

BR was the only option left for me when my IVA failed, and to be honest it was nowhere near as bad as I was expecting. I had my ups and downs, feeling like I was a failure and that I'd let everyone down. The way I feel now is that while I made a mess of things getting into debt, I'm proud of myself for doing something about it. I wish my IVA had worked, it didn't, but hey, that's life - things don't always go to plan.

Good luck with your studying, you're doing such a worthwhile job. It would be a shame to let your debts get in the way x

BTW I still wake up shouting sometimes - I was telling Dave he had to get the big black spiders off the ceiling last time! Looks like we're both mad!

[butterflies]

Hi quark2008, sending my good luck to you in what ever you decide [:)]
can you just answer one question in your posts you put #13;#10;#13;#10; what is this [?]

[Skippy]

I was wondering that!

[butterflies]

Thought i'd put this back to top to see if someone can answer my question [?]

[kallis3]

I wondered that as well!

[Viki.W]

Me too!

[Ryan84]

#13;#10;#13;#10;.... Looks like ColdFusion line spacing? maybe his keyboard is firing a macro when he is trying to do a new line, or if he has some coldfusion toolbars on his browser it could be causing problems sending strings..

Could be wrong..

Anyways - IVA will probably pass but let me mention that im not a fan of IVAs.. and i think BR would be the better option for you mate.. drastic and a little embarrising but you are free.. completely..

you'll struggle to get debt for the next 6? years.. Thats probably a good thing lol..

good luck mate.. Hope it works out!

[butterflies]

I thought #13;#10;#13;#10; was instead of B****y eck or something simular (you know funny words), i don't know what coldfusion is either not greatly computer knowledgeable (or spelling come to that) but maybe quark2008 can answer the query.


Blue [:)]

[kallis3]

I'll pass on Coldfusion as well - could be an offshoot of Coldplay for all I know!!!!!!!!!!

It's very intriguing though. Quark is keeping us guessing!!!!!!!

[chardonnay]

Hi All,
I may be daft, but I still don't know what those things mean??!! I've tried clicking on the little symbol next to #13, #10, etc and don't get anything. Would someone like to enlighten me....this computer has limited abilities - but I'm sure not going to use the work one for these cnversations...some things deserve to be private!!
Hugs,
Chardonnay