Lots of us out there..........

[chris.g]

I called into the 3 mobile shop for some advice(previous posting about 3). I explained to the girl in the shop about them closing my account because I was br and could I keep my number etc....Anyhow, to cut a long story short I ended up giving her advice about her debts!! She's struggling paying her cards etc and asked what br entailed....I pointed her in this direction [:)]
Again on on Friday, me and hubby were at a party and I saw a freind I hadn't seen in years. She asked if we had moved and I told her we were br and we had gave the house back. Again, I ended up giving debt advice!!
I've spoke to many people over the last few weeks who are in serious trouble, struggling with bills, losing their jobs, needing help and advice but don't where to turn to.....where will all this end?? Everyone in an IVA or bankrupt???
I'm shocked and saddened that there are so many of 'us' out there, plodding on with our daily lives, pretending to others that things are just hunky-dorey.......[V][:(]

[Lisa2009]

Good that they had you to talk to xxxxx

[plasticdaft]

Plodding on by is just what far too many people do in their debt ridden lives. The wise ones are the ones who take control and do something about it.

HAPPY DAYS!!

[moretolife]

yeah Chris....there are a lot of folk who havent yet had the wake up call....
remember we too were part of that gang for a long time eh???

i am so proud of the way you were able to just say...we were bankrupt....what guts eh...to come out and just say it...well done you

keep on saying it...as it may well help others to stand back and take stock of their lives too

[kallis3]

That's right Chris. Glad you were able to give advice. To all intents and purposes my life is wonderful, I have my own house, a decent car and job. Behind closed doors though we are just keeping our head above water.

I do look at people I know sometimes and wonder if they could be having the same problems. And of course sometimes it is easier to talk to a stranger about these things.

I wish I had the courage to tell people of my IVA, but I'm a coward!

Perhaps when it is finished I'll tell them I'm debt free?

[chris.g]

How desperate must that girl have been though?? She didn't know me from Adam....I didn't mind one tiny bit, I felt so sorry for her and it reminded me of all the grief I went through.....

[Lisa2009]

I suppose its easier for somebody to offload to a complete stranger. Somebody they dont have to see on a daily basis.
Its got to be more difficult being able to tell faamily and friends. At least if a stranger judges, you wount have to face them again.

[chris.g]

I used to be ashamed that we had money problems, I would never tell anyone about it and it took me a long, long time to admit it to myself....I guess everyone is the same. Now I don't give a fig who knows, the one's that judge me are no better than me, infact they are probably still in the 'denial stage' if the truth be known!
My life, our life, is so much better now, no debt, no fear of the phone ringing, no hiding at that knock on the door, no more pretence.....
We are so much better off now and not just financially, we are no longer pre-occupied about debt and getting enough money to pay for it anymore....we are living now instead of surviving...

[Lisa2009]

Good for you. You have a lot to be proud of xxxx

[Viki.W]

Hey Chris, it's good that she had you there to talk to. It's so much easier to talk to a stranger about things like this. I bet she feels so much better now.

I found out before I left that one of my waitresses who is only 20 is on a DMP and my friends husband has recently gone BR. I think that people know about these two options but maybe not so much about an IVA.

Hopefully we'll see her on here soon. Maybe we could all have business cards to give out to help people (if they ask) X

[tori]

what a wonderful positive attitude you have chris! & i also wonder just how many people i know are secretly struggling,but yet pretending everything is ok.pre iva i was totally&utterly ashamed of the mess i was in,but now ive done something about it & come to terms with my iva i feel somewhat proud,and if the situation arose where some 1 needed advice about debts,like you i would be more than happy to give them the benefit of my experience.as i now feel that being in an iva is nothing to be ashamed of.x[:)]

[Til]

It is shocking how many people struggle but don't show any signs of it outwardly. We were like that... still are in many ways as hardly anyone knows of our IVA.

When you get talking to people though it is shocking how many are in the same boat but still at the stage where they are hiding from it - hopefully for many they will come through it with pay rises etc but for many I think they will live with the burden in secret until ultimately it takes over them or they sort it out...

I must admit recently I feel much less shame than I used to - as if sorting it has cancelled out the shame a bit - and thanks to all of you on hear making me realise I am just like many many others [:)]

So glad we are on our way to debt free already [:D]

[jane.l]

I will never mention my bankruptcy again to anyone, I only told one person,(a relative) they told another old friend who went on another forum, annonymously, to really lay the boot into me, saying awful things, and then, when I was at my lowest ebb, they outed themselves for who they really were! It made me so ashamed, I never got round to telling my parents but I just bet this other person took great pleasure in telling them, although they have not mentioned it to me. I'll never trust anyone again[:(]

[Julie]

Oh Jane thats awful - I guess there are some horrible people out there. You have to wonder what makes them tick eh?

[angelrainbow]

I have so much shame over my financial affairs, yet with the economic climate the way it is I am sure there must be people I know who are struggling or heading down a similar road. I guess pride keeps up from telling other people!