made the first step

[kallis3]

We've all been there nopot! You are most definetly not alone!

I liken us to a wagon train - we've formed a circle with the wagons and are now being circled by the Indians! Occasionally one of us manages to get away (BR or IVA) but the hole is soon plugged by someone else!

[Viki.W]

You are most definitely NOT a loser. You have worked hard and have a lovely family. Be proud that you are facing up to your problems. This is the first step. The forum will support you every step of the way.[:)] X

[nopottopissin]

i'm overwhelmed by your messages. thanks
i've filled in melanie's enquiry form, and payplan are ringing me tomorrow, so i'll take it from there and keep you informed.

[MelanieGiles]

Just think of some positive words instead then - such as restructure, refinancing, fresh start, look forward to the future, pay creditors back what I can afford, sleep at night, no more nasty letters, no more nasy phonecalls, light at the end of the tunnel.

Far more positive - and each one actually true!

[angela18]

we are with melanie and when we first made contact with Tina at Melanies office the relief was great, knowing that there was a solution.. hang on in there..

[Lisa2009]

Welcome to the forum. Love the name!!!

Well done you for facing your debts head on. You are deffinately in the right place for help and emotional support.
You are NOT a failure by any measure, just another person (and there are millions) in debt for one reason or another.
At least you have now had the courage to deal with it.

Best of luck to you xxx

[Soulgrowth]

Hi Nopot

Great post from Melanie about changing the words you use, the basics of neuro linguistic programming, i.e "it's not what we see it's what we look for" ... try to have pride in yourself and confidence that you are addressing your debt problems rather than cutting yourself up about it ... good luck with finding a solution Nopot ... there is one.

And, I'm an old fashioned prude ... and don't like the name![:(]

Debbie

[nopottopissin]

not a great day today. wife on phone early doors in tears because hm customs were threatening to shoot us at dawn for unpaid tax.
spoke to tina at melanies office who is calling again on friday to go through things in detail.
payplan called me as arranged but person i spoke to just took all the details in a very robotic manner, sounded bored, offered me nothing to cling to really.
head still on the railway line waiting for the train.

[kallis3]

I am sure Melanie's team will be able to help you nopot.

Get that head off that line!!!!!!!

[Soulgrowth]

Hang on in there nopot ... sometimes it has to get worse before it gets better.

Debbie

[stressed_suzanne]

Nopott, please hang on in there. Once you decide the way forward everything will get easier. It's a hard thing to admit to, but by doing so you're halfway there. Now get your head off that line, money worries are not worth putting your wife and children through that.

[facingittogether]

thinking of you nopott!

like others have said hang on in there, you will get sorted!

love barb x

[nopottopissin]

thanks again everybody. if i go down the iva road and it doesn't get approved is it automatic bankruptcy ? also re the other thread thats on here about stopping any payments to creditors prior to the iva being approved is that an essential part of the process or can you continue to make minimum payments ? the thought of even more phone calls, letters, and even visits terrifies me.

[facingittogether]

hi nopot!

i am not an expert but we were advised to stop paying creditors prior to the iva being set up so that you can build a bit of a contingency fund up for emergencies when you are in a iva!
we had numerous creditors and yes we did get phonecalls and letters but just be firm and polite say that you are taking expert advice re your debts and your ip will be in touch. if at anytime the calls get too much just dont answer the phone and give yourself a break until you feel stronger again!

i know this must be such a worrying and stressful time for you and your wife but honestly you will get through this and move on with a load lifted from you!

love barb x

[MelanieGiles]

Whether you pay creditors or not makes little difference to the outcome of your IVA, but small token payments in the meantime can stop some of the letters and phone calls, but try and save a little towards contingency expenditure so that you start off in good shape.