Man Rules.

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Foggy

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Post by Foggy » Thu Aug 22, 2013 9:15 am
Man Rules

At last a bloke has taken the time to write this all down

We always hear 'the rules' from the female side
now here are the rules from the male side

These are our rules!

Please note. These are all numbered #1 on purpose!

1. Men are not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1.. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we...

1. All men see in only 16 colours, like windows default settings..
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear..

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...really.

1.. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or motor sports.

1. You have enough clothes.

1 .. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, i know, i have to sleep on the couch tonight.. But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping...

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh...

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh, because it’s true!
My opinions are merely that .. opinions based on experience. Always seek professional advice.
IVA Completed 23rd July 2013 .... C.C. 10th January 2014
 
 

Andy1964

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Joined: Thu Dec 31, 2009 12:07 pm
Location: United Kingdom

Post by Andy1964 » Thu Aug 22, 2013 11:04 am
Foggy,I think:
1..too true.
1..every time.
1..been there done that.
1..would never happen.
and finally..
1..watched her try and nearly died laughing.

We know what we mean! [:D][:D][:D]
If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

Funds paid to date accepted as F&F 16th August 2013, the wait for completion begins.
Wait over....certificate recieved 3rd May 2014
 
 

Pandy

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Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2010 5:49 pm
Location: United Kingdom

Post by Pandy » Fri Aug 23, 2013 7:14 am
I agree about the colours, when I told hubby and son I wanted to paint the bathroom Lilac, the looks I got was priceless, still giggle when I think about it now, I can see the stunned look on there faces as though they were thinking 'what the hell colour is that'.
If life is what you make it, I must have been in a strange mood when I made mine
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