My boyfriend won't tell me what he earns which means we can't move in together as I would need to declare his income to my supervisor on a revised income and expenditure form. He is willing to pay 50% of all household bills but is not willing to disclose his salary or monthly income. He doesn't see why he should as its my IVA and my debt all incurred b4 we met. If we wanted to move in together is there any way round this?
He says its because he's traditional, he doesn't think I should know what he earns.
We've discussed moving in together in the future and like I say he's more than happy to contribute but I told him he'd need to give copies of payslips etc and he wasn't impressed.
I have never heard of that as being a traditional thing, I knew exactly what my hubby earns even when we first met, just like he knows what I earn,seems strange to me that you would want to keep it secret from someone you are wanting to spend the rest of your life with.
Every relationship is different though...
If life is what you make it, I must have been in a strange mood when I made mine
I know. I've told him if we get a mortgage together in the future I'll have to know so just to tell me. I think he's insecure about what he earns. He knows my salary and about my situation so I don't know why he won't say. If he did move in I would have to have a peek at his payslip - naughty I know.
My husband isn't in an IVA and while he did declare his salary it is a roundabout number as he gets a different amount every week, Freeman Jones were OK with this as the household bills were covered using this and even though he usually gets more than the number we declared this was not a problem. He never had to show his payslips.
I know I am a good person, I just need to start believing it
I would certainly be asking what problem is... If you are moving in together there really shouldn't be any secrets. Does he fully understand why iva company need to know his income level ? I would sit down and speak with your IP whilst your boyfriend is about so they can explain fully
Last edited by luluj on Sun Apr 28, 2013 8:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
There is a solution for everyone .... Just need to stay positive !
I`m thinking out of my box here (bear with me)...if I knew my partner had financial difficulties and asked what I earned, I`d tell her, especially if I knew she was sorting out a problem that worried her.
End of.
In the same situation Tillergirl but its my wife that is not in an IVA and wants nothing to do with it. She just pays 50% of household costs and keeps what is left for herself. I am completely happy with this and actually dont want her involved in the whole thing.
It's interesting to read differing views on this and whilst my husband and I are 100% open with each other, my son who is only 25 never discloses his pay to his g/f who he lives with and they have a child, he pays all utilities and the rent and all she has to pay is the food. His bank statements still come to my house even though he left about 4.5 years ago! No right or wrong I guess just personal views.
IVA final payment left the bank on the 26th January 2013...looking forward to a debt free future.
There should be no problem for Tillergirl if she states her partner pays half because that is the reality. If he was a bigger earner then in theory he could be expected to pay a higher percentage of the bills thus freeing up more money for her IVA. This would be wrong in my opinion and a 50/50 split seems more than fair.
As you have no commonality (joint debts, children etc) he has not benefitted from the debt so this could be treated as a 'flat-share' and everything split 50/50 without having to declare his income.
