Hi karon and welcome to the forum
Self-employed people tend to be very busy during the week, but tend to go into relaxation mode a little at the weekends. Can you try and grab some time with him on Sunday, to try and piece together the information that you need - and a copy of his last couple of tax returns should give an idea of his earnings.
He is bound to initially be shocked, cross and hurt, but in time he will realise that you are doing your best to deal with this problem - and I am sure that the money has not all been spent on you personally, so he has probably benefitted from the debts in some indirect way.
And the reality is (and don't put this as a threat to him, but just be aware), that if you don't do something soon you may have to face bankruptcy proceedings, which are likely to affect him even more - especially with regard to your home.
Good luck, and I hope poster JohnZ is around this evening as she has been through a very similar set of circumstances and can probably give you better guidance and support.
Regards, Melanie Giles, Insolvency Practitioner
