No sleep at all. How the he'll am I going to cope with the next month or so and returning to work, and then life in an iva. Is this the right way for me to go. Thinking about consolidation loan etc but I am just running scared. I can't cope with this stress. Got to sort out a few valuations which I hadn't factored in until yr four or five. I just know this is all going to go wrong. Am I over reacting? Does everyone feel like this at this stage or is it just me not coping very well at all?
Initially it can be daunting, break the tasks down to one at a time rather than looking at too many at once Denise. There is a lot of footwork to do in the beginning but then it's over to your IP who do their bit. Giving you breathing space. Once in the IVA the pressure is definitely taken away as no more creditor contact, a once a year review and so long as everything is rosy then basically you carry on. If you get problems you do have your IP to talk to to see if there is a way forward to overcome these.
IVA final payment left the bank on the 26th January 2013...looking forward to a debt free future.
Once you have decided on a solution and started the ball rolling you will feel better.
Just take your time and consider all options caefully including all the negative sides of any solution
I feel like I am not going to cope with any of this and wake up every day with more and more anxiety. I think the anxiety I am feeling this week is because I have now had the discussion about an IVA, have told my mum is obviously concerned, and I know I have to do something about my situation, but it all just seems so formal and scary. I cant understand why I wouldn't feel the same if I took out a loan? I think its because its the creditors and they have the final decision on the day. I still don't fully understand the ins and outs of an IVA and daily/monthly/yearly living, including why your monthly amount would go up and what the dangers are - I do know a friend of mine who did an IVA a few years ago, but his failed as he didn't disclose a sum of money he was paid, and then just didn't bother to contact his IP so he went bankrupt. I would never do that, I am too anxious, stressful and would probably be telling them even if I was given a 10 pound note. I cant see how a DMP would work for me, it would put me and my home in more danger surely? At least with an IVA my house would be protected. I can only see an IVA, DMP or do nothing as my only options.
I'm living proof as are plenty of other posters that an IVA is a good debt solution as I've completed 60 payments. Melanie was my IP and if I was ever unsure about anything a quick call to the office would always put my mind at rest.
IVA final payment left the bank on the 26th January 2013...looking forward to a debt free future.
I know once my IVA is approved, I will be a lot happier both mentally and physically and can look forward to a happier and healthier future. I know its going to be hard, and there will be struggles but nothing compared to what I am going through now. I think my anxiety at the moment is worrying that it will be rejected and what happens next. I am seeing into the future, and with an IVA I feel calmer, but at present, I am also seeing a raft of problems if it is rejected and up until then with creditor harassment. It doesn't bother me, but I just cant bear to put my mum through that, not with her health and worry
Doing nothing is not an option I feel you should take.
I suffer very badly with anxiety, my spending and lack of control was as a result of other stressful things happening in my life.
The best thing you can do to reduce anxiety is to take control and most importantly ask for help.
Take advice on the best course of action, take advice from more than one source, then take action. The process of taking action reduces the anxiety.
You are not alone there are many thousands of people in this same situation and there will be many more. What you owe in comparison to large businesses and banks is tiny.
Allow people to help, ignore letters and calls, secure the money you have coming in and take back control over your life.
If you feel bad about not paying the money back remember just how much money they make out of you and how much you will have paid in interest. They have probably already had the original money back in payments, the interest is the problem and that is as a result of their greed.
Be kind to yourself, take time and find something positive to counteract this difficulty.
Your time would be better focussed right now on gathering up the information required so that we can get cracking on the IVA for you. I know it is daunting, but you have had a lot of support already, and trust me once you have passed that package of infornmation over, it will be like saying goodbye to some of the debt related issues, as they will be on my desk and not yours.
I know and thank you Melanie, you and your team and everyone on this forum have been so patient and supportive. I don't know what is happening to me at present, I just feel like everything is consuming me. I do have a list of things I need to do today and I am going to get on with them despite how I feel. I know I don't have to do everything at once, so am concentrating on the priorities like bank account and house valuations. I know it is going to get even more stressful and I need to be prepared for that and not go to pieces. I just need to know the options if my IVA was to be rejected, so that I can consider these too.
Rejection is a word that I do not expect to encounter in any of the cases I put forward on behalf of my clients, so please remove those negative thoughts right now! We will get there together Denise, and you are right to focus on the important issues first.
I really do not need to say this but please listen to Melanie, I have been there and got through it - nobody is saying it is easy but it is attainable. Just take the bull by the horn get all your information together and do it. When I look back I feel silly at how anxious I was in the face of everyone who knew my situation telling me it was the right thing to do, I was terrified of the mess I was in but now I am so relaxed I have to remind myself about the IVA - I have no regrets whatsoever, except that I got in the mess in the first place. If I had found the forum before I took the plunge I am sure I would have got through it with more confidence, worrying about rejection is normal nobody could be sure it would be accepted but Melanie's reassurance should be enough for you. Xx
I know I am a good person, I just need to start believing it
It sounds like you are choosing the right course of action, but the stress will continue for some time. I've just passed my first year and I am really starting to feel a lot more relaxed and confident that I will be out of the debt mess I found myself in, after feeling pretty much as you are now.
I found that meal planning and cooking helped, not only with keeping to a budget, but focusing away from money stress.
