on the verge of separating

[braveb]

We have been in an IVA for nearly 2 years now and still finding it stressful. So much so myself and my partner are on the verge of separating. We have 2 children and a mortgage. The last thing I want to do is loose the house (why should the kids suffer for our mistakes) but I dont know how this will effect the IVA as it's joint and we wouldn't be able to maintain the current payment level if we did split. Any advise would be greatfully received.

[MelanieGiles]

Hi braveb and welcome to the forum

Why is the IVA proving to be so stressful for you. Were the payments set too high? Have you thought about discussing this with your IP to see if the payments could be reduced?

Regards, Melanie Giles, Insolvency Practitioner for over 20 years.

To have me propose an IVA for you, please visit:
http://www.melaniegiles.com/ivaEnquiry.asp

See customer feedback at:
http://www.iva.com/iva_companies/IVA_Advice_Bureau.asp

[Soulgrowth]

Hello braveb ... you have made a really good start in posting to the forum as you will find yourself amongst friends here. I am not an expert here, just someone who has gone through the journey of debt which I know can put huge strains on and have knock-on effects on all other areas of life.

Hang on in there ... to every problem there is a solution.

Debbie

www.familyceremonies.co.uk

www.soulgrowth.co.uk

[keh]

Hi Braveb,

It is very stressful and especially this time of year. But now your 2 years gone and the light is now showing at the end of the tunnel.
One suggestion is to ask your IP if you can extend the iva for an extra year but with a reduced payment (so the extra year makes up the payments).

But please talk to each other and see that their is light now showing at the end of the tunnel and soon you will be reaping the rewards of being debt free.

Keith

The long and winding road will straighten out eventually....keep the faith

[Adam Davies]

Hi
Have a chat with your IP
IVAs are individual but sometimes can't be paid seperately due to affordability.
Good advice from other members regarding asking for payment reductions in order to ease the pressure,or maybe a payment break so that you can spend time together.
Regards

Andy Davie
IVA.co.uk Spokesperson and Website Manager

About me:
http://www.iva.co.uk/andy_davie_profile.asp

IVA Helpline: 0800 197 4838
http://www.iva.co.uk/iva_helpline.asp

[Skipper]

Hi,
5 years is along time to commit to a tight I/E in a IVA and creditors aren't a generous bunch these days for all kinds of reasons.But you are 2 yrs into it so that's further into the IVA than some of us.

If it is of any comfort, the Debt problem is a world credit problem and not an individual one on over spending.WE are in control of our cards of course...there are economic forces driving debt up.

There are now more debtors outthere than ever before(despatchers reports - 8K debt per household in UK excl mortage) -we were all caught into the head wind of unaffordable spending.

Blame the money market system then I blame myself.

"Always think outside the box"

[redhead]

Hi Braveb I am no expert but if its helps I like yourself at 2 years into our iva my partner & i found it very stressful and parted...My Ip were excellant and understanding our payments were adjusted and we paid our own amount each month to our ip. Over the years paying my ip like this we are now both iva free.

IVA now finished - Been a long old journey - I have learnt my lesson Im now DEBT free and it feels good!!!!

[braveb]

Thank you for all your advise. I'm going to talk to our IP and see where we stand. Our relationship is definately over, it's just proved too much.

[Scrooge]

Hi Braveb - just wanted to say I can sympathise with you - We are also struggling and have both taken on so much extra work to make ends meet, that we now see very little of each other. Sometimes it seems like there is no relationship - As he comes home from work I go to work and when I get home he goes to second job!!
I know this just cannot go on for another 3+ years.
Hope things work out for you.

[braveb]

My other half has suggested we try counselling before we give up completely. Afterall it's only Money that has put us in this situation, he doesn't want the creditors to get the better of us. We're going to give it a go in the New Year. Got nothing to loose by trying.
I'll post an update as soon as I can

[Soulgrowth]

Hi braveb ... it really IS only money and once you start finding some solutions I am sure it will take the pressure off your relationship ... so hang on in there.

Debbie

www.familyceremonies.co.uk

www.soulgrowth.co.uk

[MelanieGiles]

What a great idea - and you really must not let money problems break you two up. Your relationship is far more precious that ongoing money worries, and if things get so bad do you not feel that bankruptcy might be a better and more final option for you to make a fresh start?

How much equity do you actually have in the property?

Regards, Melanie Giles, Insolvency Practitioner for over 20 years.

To have me propose an IVA for you, please visit:
http://www.melaniegiles.com/ivaEnquiry.asp

See customer feedback at:
http://www.iva.com/iva_companies/IVA_Advice_Bureau.asp

[braveb]

Unfortunately bankruptcy isn't an option for me. I'm studing to be a management accountant through CIMA and we really dont want to loose the childrens home, they love our house and where we live.
We have about 20k equity in the property, we thought about offering a full and final settlement but it wouldnt be enough. We originally owed 70K and we've only paid 20k off so far. I think the dividend was about 70p.

[MelanieGiles]

That's a very high return to creditors, and there is scope in there to have the payments reduced to a far more affordable level, thus taking away some of the stress from you and your partner. I suggest that as part of your New Year fresh start that you both sit down with a pen and paper and work out what you do actually spend during the month. Use the CCCS guidelines for certain areas, and don't forget to think through what you have actually spent over the last three months as well - bank statements should show this. If the amount you have left over is lower than the payments you are currently paying, then it is no wonder that you have been struggling, and I suggest that you then ask your IP to put forward a variation to the original terms for you.

Regards, Melanie Giles, Insolvency Practitioner for over 20 years.

To have me propose an IVA for you, please visit:
http://www.melaniegiles.com/ivaEnquiry.asp

See customer feedback at:
http://www.iva.com/iva_companies/IVA_Advice_Bureau.asp