Please could you advise?

[Shara]

I currently have an IVA where my wife did not know anything about it. She has found out about the IVA now and the past 3 months she has moved out taking our daughter and living back with her parents. She said that is is the of our marriage.

Will IVA payment changed as my wife income was used in my expenditure and will the company send out the necessary forms? I have informed them of the change of circumstances as yet I have not heard from them even tho they have cashed in my lastes payment. Please could you advise. Thank You

[freelili]

Hi Shara

I am really sorry to hear of the marriage problems, I hope that youre OK, it must be very, very hard on you.

You need to speak to your IP or supervisor ASAP, you could try to email them directly by going on to www.iva.com and looking for the IP concerned, their email address will be listed.

Good luck and keep posting here, youre amongst friends.

[Viki.W]

Hey Shara, welcome to the forum. I'm so sorry to hear about your marriage breakdown. I'm sure your IP will help you, he/she will not want your IVA to fail. Keep at them and as Lily says, email your IP directly. Your wife may just need some time to take it all in, there may still be hope. X

[size5]

This is very sad and I hope things work out for you, but on a related theme, it does go a long way to explaining why, whenever the question is raised on here re "spouse/partner doesn't know can I keep it from them?" that the basic advice first is to let your other half know, if at all possible, before you go down any route such as IVA, DMP, BR etc.

[chardonnay]

Hi Shara and welcome from me too.
I'm sorry to hear of your problems - hopefully it was a knee jerk reaction caused by the shock of fding out about the IVA. I really hope you can talk to your other half and resolve this issue.
I'm sending you positive vibes and a big hug,
Good luck,
Chardonnay

[freelili]

I hope you can work things out too. I doubt if it will be about money, more likely the issue of trust. Its always best to be honest about everything, even though its easier said than done.

[Shara]

Hiya

Thanks for your message and support. My wife is very head strong and she does not want to be dragged down that route (as she puts it). It is the end of our marriage, yes there was the issue of trust and even after 3 months she is admant as ever before.

Shara

[orchid5]

Shara sorry to hear of your troubles aside from the IVA, hopefully as time goes by your wife will realise that maybe it was a knee jerk reaction. IT isn't easy to talk about an IVA even with members of family you only have to read through some of the threads on here. I wish you well and hope that things turn out well.

[Skippy]

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles Shara and I hope that you can work things out with your wife eventually x

[freelili]

Well far from being dragged down, you should be applauded for going down this route, it takes guts and determination and I wish you the very best of luck. There are many, many people here who know only too well how hard this journey is.

[Soulgrowth]

Hi Shara ... just wanted to welcome you also and to say that I agree with Lilli, far from being ashamed (or whatever) your wife should be proud that you are taking steps to address your debt situation. Presumably, your wife has been on the receiving end of some of the spending to support a certain lifestyle?

All the best

Debbie

[tori]

hi there shara,im so sorry that you're having to go through this.& i can relate to your situation,as for quite a while i hid the extent of my debts from my partner as i was so ashamed that id let them get out of control,& was convinced that i could sort it out by myself.but when i decided to do the very brave thing which you have done & use an iva as a solution for my debts,i told him everything & luckily he was incredibly supportive,but it hasnt been easy at all.i really do hope you can sort something out.