Elizabeth, I know how stressful this is, all of us do, with certain expert exceptions but you cant just run away from it and leave your hubby and children. That would make you feel so much worse, what sort of relief would that honestly bring. Your kids will be depending on you to get yourself through this and you will.
I know it seems cloudy right now, because it is, you only have to do one positive thing a day to help you survive and thats what it is babe, a survival for a while. None of us know where our journey will end, if someone would have told me how my journey would end, I wouldnt have believed them. I certainly wouldnt have chosen it but at the end of the day its only money and your hubby and kids are worth much more, so are you.
It all seems a bit much right now because youre trying to deal with it alone, but you dont have to be, just put some trust into someone and let them help you, right now. None of us know whats round the corner, we all need help at times, youre low in confidence but you will feel better when you take the horns and go for it.
You cant expect to feel good right now but slowly with each step I know you will. I was so down there at times, thought about suicide but I just coped one day at a time.
Take care,
lily