Scared ain't the word

[Soscared]

I am very new to this. I always paid my bills but since maternity leave debts keep on rolling up. Working full time but child care costs were sky. Ended up taking credit cards most my partner don't know about on interest free. Kept on paying but it's now crunch time and paying over 800 in credit card bills. Ended up not even having 10 quid a month for myself. I had to go through Iva as only option. None of my family aware of my situation. Am alone. Was waking up crying no were to turn and phoned various IVA company (none which cold call me). Its taking me 6 months to even make a phone call. Have a creditors meeting in less that 48 hours. I am scared stressed. Dealing with it all alone and no one to turn too. If it weren't for my child I probably would not be here... But super worried my meeting does not work... I now been getting phones calls from old bank to say why u missing payments was adviced to cancel all dd and just wait for meeting. Just feel alone can't talk to hubby about it as he will just panic all debts in my name and just hope it works out in 48 hours. If it's not possible I really don't know we're to turn... Any help would be greatly appreciated...

[Marty171]

i recommend speaking to your husband and explaining the situation, it could damage your relationship at a later date when he inevitably finds out, i can imagine it would add more stress and pressure trying to hide it from your husband for 6 years, however fingers crossed for your meeting tho i hope it all goes ok and gets approved

[Foggy]

I agree with Marty -- it is a very difficult secret to keep for 5 or 6 years. But, in any event, you are not alone ... we are all here for any questions, or just if you need to vent. We have all been through it and know how it feels.

Best of luck with your meeting -- let us know how it goes.

[Soscared]

Thanks just really super scared once my meeting over and done with then I will go clean.. i just dreading the meeting what happens if it does not get approved. I never been in this much debt before as I always managed to pay it my self. That was before child and now I been using credit cards to live.. it's not great but I really hope my creditors will agree. Its so stressful.

[Foggy]

If the IVA is not accepted -- which doesn't happen very often -- then you can try a DMP for a while to give yourself some breathing space -- it is run a bit like an informal IVA, but neither party is legally bound.

[Allywally]

I was in a similar position but told my husband before my meeting was to be held. He supported me totally and we are now through that difficult 6 years feeling so lucky. Please speak to him, I wont tell you it was easy but the relief when it started was massive. Good luck

[luluj]

Got everything crossed for you .. try and stay busy x

[Soscared]

Wow what a relief got a phone call this morning to say that my offer has been accepted when some modifications to do with fees but my payments stay the same. Been honest with other half and he already guessed but did not want to do say anything as he could not help. And would make me more stressed... He totally understands and feels bad for not realising earlier but nothing he could do... I still scared but my payments were 800 a month to 220 a month which means I can breath... He wondered why I was always skint...
Maybe I could sleep tonight for the first time in years but then I am still technically working as on call...

[kallis3]

Excellent news - glad it was sorted and your other half is being supportive.

[Foggy]

That's good news on both fronts --- an IVA is quite some commitment and much easier with support at hand.
Welcome to your journey --- remember, we are always here for questions, support and anything else we can help with.

[Soscared]

IVA was not an easy option.... Looked into a DMP and I the idea of paying less but over 20 years was not even worth thinking about. IVA 6 years of Hell before credit rating is ok. Bankruptcy I did not want to even consider. As my debt need to pay it but it got to the point we're I was taking from one and using the cards for the other

[Marty171]

Great news, im glad your offer was accepted and the fact your other half was supportive is amazing.