There's nowt wrong wi' your waffle quark Marra ... I look forward to it ... gis me summat to think on when the telly's broken .... Just joking Quark .. I really do enjoy your posts. Moreso now they are a bit more upbeat.

Keep 'em coming.

An ex colleague of mine's son died in an RTA 4 years ago this month and it put me in mind of this story I heard many years ago which I thought I'd share with you all ..... While at the park one day, a woman sat down next to a man on a bench near a playground. “That’s my son over there,” she said, p...

Good morning all and welcome back to Viki after her trials LOL, nice to see MTD back on form too. Here's me Christmas sniggerette for today ..... Bernie Epstein decided to get away from the often inclement weather of the Durham east coast and spend Christmas in the Canary Islands. Being unfamiliar ...

moretolife wrote:

ray....i always thought your "accent " was scottish.!!!!!....

Had away wi'yer. Aah divent knaa wheer yer get that idea hinny

One or two forum members may have noticed I'm a 'Geordie' and occasionally slip into the vernacular. For those who may not understand me when I do I offer the following ..... How to speak Geordie.............. Nee mair puddin' pet, ahm stottin' ... No thank you, I'm on a diet. How man, yon bairn's ...

A woman came out of her house and saw 3 grizzled old men sitting in her front garden. She didn't recognize them. She said “I don’t think I know you, but you look hungry. Please come in, have something to eat.” “Is the man of the house home?”, they asked. “No”, she replied. “He’s out.” “Then we cann...

Good morning all. I hope the world treats you all as you deserve today. MTL I hope your feeling better today... you too Kallis. DM, have you still not got a creditors meeting date? Here's hoping you get your boiler and car sorted without too much expense Skippy. Now for todays gigglette ...... A ma...

Apart from the Christmas Jokettes, I am reducing my normal formidable output of funnies. Instead I'm going to relate a few stories that have touched my heart over the years. You may already have heard some of them, or read them elsewhere, but please take the time to read them as I think they give f...

Good morning all and the dreaded money pit is one day nearer [:D] In keeping with the jollity being enjoyed by all I present for your edification a right proper groaner ..... Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On ente...

Off to me kip peeps ... enjoy the rest of your evening....... A traffic policeman flagged down a motorist and said, 'I'm arresting you for going through three red lights.' 'Yeah, well, I'm colour blind,' said the motorist. 'In addition to that, you were exceeding the speed limit,' said the policema...

Wizz's daughter doing her homework, Wizz reading the paper: "Dad.. what's the highest mountain in the world?" "I divvent knaa lass" Five minutes later: "Dad.. what's the name of the President of the USA?" "Yer got me theer hinny, I divvent knaa that'n neither" Five minutes later: "Dad.. who discove...

[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]

Urgent Dudley Earthquake Appeal At 00:54 on Monday 23 September an earthquake measuring 4.8 on the Richter scale hit Dudley, UK causing untold disruption and distress - Many were woken well before their giro arrived. Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and Spanish costas we...