A few years ago, I had 'womens problems' again, this was nothing like you are going through at all, but I was hell to live with. If my hubby said black was black, I would argue that it was white. The poor bloke could do nothing right, I argued with everything, cried for no reason at all and was a total pain to live with! The thing is, I knew what I was doing but couldn't do anything about it!
With the help of surgery and medication I got through that, and we are now stronger than ever.
How he ever put up with me I will never know.
You will come through this much stronger Ida.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
I kept my eyeliner on today, laughed with my daughter without feeling guilty.
I raided my father's shed and "borrowed" some paint to do the living room, the brown was a mistake now I think about it but it's new and certainly different.
(Bottom half is light brown, top part is almond colour)
I'm glad you have had a good day Ida, and been able to laugh as well.
Tomorrow may be even better.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
Things are not so good at the moment, they found a second cancer site, not secondary, noit spread, we are not entirely sure where it might have spread or if it really has, but we do know there is a second site in his poor jaw.
It hardly matters about how he looks but he is not deformed, he looks as he always did, but it's there, biopsied and confirmed.
I want to say something "bouncy" something good, forward looking, hopeful................I am all of those things, just not this week, well, not tonight, not now anyway.
He looks so so ill, GREY pallor, thin beyond description, shrunken............
6 weeks ago we had a future, all of us, I know we didn't know the truth then but then he had a bad back and the drugs they gave him for it made eating difficult...........that is what the doctors told him.
Keep your chin up Ida - even if it really hurts to do so at the moment. He needs you to give him hope, and to do that you have to maintain a cheeriness outside when it much be hurting so much inside. You have to keep things together for all of you at the moment, and you will all be in my prayers this evening.
I as always thank you all here xxxxxxxxxxxxx
I DO try to be bouncy..........I do, it's hard, not impossible, but at times I lapse.
Today I mentioned how nice next door's front lawn looks, it is so pretty purple and blue flowering bushes, it's lovely. he said "Those are late winter early spring bedders, IF I am here next year I'll get a few in ours , they are nice aren't they"
My heart is broken
IF?
IF?
He is 42, a non smoker, father of 3, a "Girl's daddy" far more than a she is a Daddy's girl.
24 years he and I have been together.
IF?
I mean come on..................IF? There is an IF?
HOW is there an IF?
(I am so so sorry, I just get upset, just it gets too bad............the cancer, bad but they can operate, take it away,then they see more, then they can't operate and take it away then there is more..............HOW MUCH MORE CAN THERE BE?)
You cant always be bouncy Ida,no matter how hard you try,all you can do is be there for your family. Use this place to come and scream and shout if you need to,no matter what time of day someone will always be on here to lend an ear.
Paul
Discharged today the 8th feb 2012. View is much brighter now.
Continuing to rebuild our credit worthiness.
Ida hunny, sorry i havent caught up with the thread for a while been working alot of nights. You have to look after yourself
and stay strong hun. The chemo as your hubby recieves more can become harder, but as i say the results are good, it sounds like they are trying to shrink the tumour before they make any decisions on further care
you have to be strong for the family, give your hubby a project to focus on if it helps him to not sit and think, mind you easier said than done. If you want my e mail at all just to talk then you are welcome...im not too far away and always or nearly at the other end of a phone.
Oh Ida,...It is really tough for you all right now, but please remain as strong and positive as you possibly can...Your hubby needs you to do this for him, to give him hope.
He will have good days and bad,when he has the bad days, try and keep up that "cheery front" for him, you won't feel like it I know...But when he talks in terms of "IF", just correct him with the "WHEN you're better", and whenever you feel the need to get all your frustrations out, pop on here and we will all do our very best to help you in any way that we can.
I hope you are getting plenty of help and support from your family and friends as well...Sending you a BIG hug....xx
IVA accepted 13/11/2008..17 payments down,55 to go..
Ida, when he says 'IF' you must come straight back and say 'WHEN.' Don't let him get into that mindset if you can help it.
I know it's hard and it must be awful for you to see him like this. I hope the nice weather is making you all feel more positive.
We're here for you - you know that. Just come on and we'll help you out.
Positive thoughts coming your way.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
Ida,
My thoughts are with as always as is everyone else that uses the forum. It is a case of when your husband is better not IF. A friend of mine lost a lot of weight when he had cancer a few years ago and we so ill he had to be helped out of bed to go to the toilet as he was too weak to stand on his own. Everybody around him kept feeding him positive messages, his chemo was very aggressive as was his cancer. He was in his mid 50's at the time and returned to full time work about 4 months after the treatment finished. The consultants are now giving your husband a course of treatment to ensure that he also will come through this so please stay positive as this will help considerably.
Best wishes
Paul
IVA.co.uk The best place for debt advice. Thanks to Melanie Giles, David Mond, David and J (Elv5) Kallis, Dand, Skippy, Andy Davie
My husband will not be pleased I am telling you this as he is a very private person but he had a left nephrectomy done 9 years ago - they gave him just months - he is still here - never used the word "if". In fact he redigned the garden with a 5 year plan. So keep possitive all the time - hard but it works. J
